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Just peep In...(chapter 4 updated-pg-5)

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paaal

Goldie

paaal

Joined: 24 December 2008

Posts: 1361

Posted: 26 July 2010 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
I just had an idea... and thought of implying it on KriYa to create a passionate short love story between them. This is the first chapter... please do read and comment. If u guys find it interesting.. then only I will proceed...and since its a short story.. I plan to end it up.. by 5-6 chapters . I hopeu all will like dis... Ur cmments are absolutely neccessary.


Standing infront of the huge mansion, almost after two years,various emotions ran through her mind. She was scared, excited,happy thinking that she was back at that place... and sad thinking of those incidents that happened two years back. Time always brings changes with itself...but not as much as the last two years have brought in her life. She has always experienced the downs of her life, and had just started enjoying the so called ups of her life when life took away everything from her. She always knew that she has nothing left to lose... but still two years back ... when she was actually loosing everything, she realized that her life too has some precious relations, which caused her a lot of pains.

Standing in a black jeans and a offwhite tank top, the black colored jacket carefully placed on her left hand, her mind kept revisiting the old memories. However the scorching sunrays soon made her realize where she was.. and she took some slow steps ahead to reach the huge door of the THAKUR MANSION. Taking out her cell phone.. she dialled the number again. It was always a pleasure dialling her number... as she remembered the way she always comes up with different styles of HELLO.


The phone kept ringing and noone picked it up. She was getting restless... she called up again... and still it was the same. Again and again.. bt noone picked it up. Suddently the gap of two years completely vanished from her mind... and she found herself fuming over the silly girl.. just like she used to do two years back. " This girl... will never change " she muttered under her breath. Taking some quick steps... she tried to ring the calling bell. She smiled as she realized that she always used to avoid dis act of ringing the bell... because it was too high for her. She used to call her .. everytime she came home... and each time her excuse being.. " I wanted to surprise Ammaji... agar ghanti bajati..toh wohi darwaza kholti na.. issiliye nahi bajaya ".

Leaning against the door... she tried to reach the bell. Her hands roughly pressed the bell and a loud sound came out cracking the silent afternoon. She waited for two minutes for someone to come and open the door. Her impatience knew no bound when she realized that she had to ring it again. This making making sure that she would not leave the bell before ringing it continuously for some five minutes... she leaned against the door. With one leg over her suitcase... she was about to ring it .. when the door opened suddenly. As it is that she was leaning against the door ,in an odd position... the quick jerk.. made her fall flat over the person who was standing right on the other side.

She found herself crahsing against the hard floor once again as he managed to slide under her body anyhow. She groaned in pain and looked hard at him. Not a single word escaped through his mouth. She was struggling to get up.. and looked up at him for support... but all she could see was that he looked down at her with narrow eyes... clearly making her feel unwanted and unimportant. She hated the look in his eyes. She never remembered any such inhumane person dwelling in this mansion. His face twinched in irritation as she was about to say something... which didnt go unnoticed by her. She once more checked him out making a point to ask her about him as soon as she meets her. Her.. ya.. wherez the girl ?? She eyesbrows furrowed a little as she was suddenly feeling so strange. Here... there was no trace of her friend... and now she meets a guy whom she had never ever seen in the mansion before. Suddenly a strange fear captured her mind... and she fumbled out slowly .. " Where is Komal ?"

He walked past her... as if least bothered to answer her questions, when suddenly she heard a sweet voice calling her behind.." O My God.. Pratigya... tu aise.. neeche... gir kaise gayi ??"
For a moment.. she just ignored that sweet voice... as she kept looking at the tall figure that just walked past her... untill it finally vanished from her eyes.
"Pratigya.. kya hua?? Look here.. "
Now she looked back... with all the anger and irritation in her eyes.." Kya hua... ?? Tujhe pata hain.... and by the way.. please help me out Komal... mujhe utha upar " she snapped back.
" O..ya " Komal came quickly towards her helping her to stand up again.

"Pratigya... tu thek to hain na..I am soo..." she couldn't complete as Pratigya started her lines " SORRY... please Pratigya.. mera cell vibration mein tha... aur mujhe pata hi nahi chala ki tune call kiya tha... I am soo Sorry "

Komal laughed out loud as she had actually planned this particular excuse. But then quickly changing her mind.. she said " No!! it was'nt in vib mode.. I was actually taking my shower "
Pratigya carefully checking her out , said " But ur hairs aren't... wet !! Shut Up Komal.. I noe.. tu zaroor so gayi thi... hainna ??? "

Pratigya knew her too well to get convinced at her silly excuses. Knowing there was no other option left... she admitted it , with a cheeky smile. Pratigya smiled in her reply.. saying her " Haan.. tu so gayi..aur wahaan pata nahi..kissi ahjeeb insaan ne..."

Komal , with a petrified look asked her .." Pratty... darwaza khola kisne tha " .
Pratigya looked back and said " Kissi Weird admi ne... pata nahi..kaun kaun aata hain.. izz ghar mein... " . Komal... gave away a sigh and muttered quietly " Jis baat ka darr tha.. wahi hua "

However Pratigya was too tired to make any further investigation... and even from Komal's look.. she could easily tell that she wasnt even ready to divulge much details about that man... she chose to keep quite..untill Komal broke the silence.

" Pratty.. tu kafi thak gayo hogi... ja.. go and freshen up... "
Pratigya followed Komal to the room juse beside her's. The room was new for Pratigya... and she quickly asked her " Komal.. this isnt the one "
Komal , with a small smile said her " I noe dis is not... but this is new beginning of our relationship... and so.. eveything should be new"

Pratigya was deeply touched by her words. The single line revealed to Pratigya that even Komal missed her as much as she missed her in the past years. Quickly hiding the tears that had started brimming her eyes...she laughed out loudly as she heard saying her " Iss room ko mainne decorate kiya hain... aapne haatho se "

Komal gave her a frowning look as she started laughing out really loudly. " Tune... Tu..ne.. D E C O R A T E Kiya hain.... OMG... No... please ..." . The frown vanished from her face as soon as Pratigya gave a small kiss on her cheek.... " My cutie pie... U r juz tooo much "

Pratigya slowly entered the room... and as expected found some five six pillows scattered on the bed.... the study table aside.. had a whole lot of pens lying randomly on the table... along with a paperpad.. even she could see some pages crumbled on the table. The curtains were all pink..her favorite color... but some of them were streched..while some were folded. Rolling her eyes... she said out " Well Decorated... sweetie "
Komal pretended as if she actually deserved the compliment... and said with a shy smile " Thank U... dear... U made my day...Pata hain.. I have been trying since the last night to make things special for u ... waise... u go and take a bath... by that time.. I will arrange for the lunch "

Pratigya smiled back at her warmness. She hasnt changed.. indeed. Quickly closing the door behind her... she streched her arms behind her neck to relax a bit . Sitting on the bed... she streched her back on the bed. A strange sense of happiness filled her mind...the fact that she would again b inside this mansion... with full freedom and respect.. she had never expected. A tiny drop of tear escaped her eyes... and instantly she wiped it off. A pleasant smile covering her face... she quickly madeher way to the bathroom.

It was Komal..afterall.. the decorater... the Miss Messy oftheir college. so it was highly probable..that she would be finding the towels.. in the almirah... and soap in the study table. Entering the bathroom.. in order to get a list of allthe things that she needed to arrange before taking her bath... she was quite amazed. The bathroom was indeed docorated in the best possible way. She still identified Komal's cursive writings... as she read a paper..placed on the wash time " Time for u to get surprised "

She took some steps ahead towards the showers... where one had asmall paper sticked to it saying " HOT WATER... lest u burn urself " and the next one had another chit saying " COLD WATER.. GUESS U NEED IT to cool urself up "

There were some seven to eight kinds of soaps placed on the drawer.. along with a chit " I have placed my favorite soap in the soap case.. incase u dont like it.. dese are the available options " .Pratigya could not help but smile as the sweet nothings of this silly girl.
Taking her knee lenght payjama and a teddy bear top.. she entered the bathroom quickly.

She took some forty five minutes before she finally came out of the bathroom. The water was cool and was just perfect after a long journey under the scorching sun. Her hairs were still wet.. and she was about to blow them dry... when she heard a soft knock on the door.
Knowing that it would be Komal...she shouted a little loudly..." Aaja.. tujhe kab se.. knock kerne ki zaroorat padh gayi !!! "

Komal came inside just after some minutes... asking Pratigya if she was ready or not.
Kom: " Pratty... u r done ?? Should I start serving.. u must b very hungry too dearie "
Pratigya smiled and said " Yup... aur haan.. tu tab knock kyun ker rahi thi... and when I said u to come in... u didnt ..Shocked" . Komal looked at Pratigya and said " somebody knocked ur door ??!! But I didnt do"

The sudden unexpected answer had a strange effect on her... "Komal..."she said in a weak voice. Knowing exactly what Pratigya was thinking... Komal tried to lighten the situation.. and said " Letz have lunch... we will talk later. Cum On !!! "

Pratigya followed Komal for the lunch. Though Prats was a bit quite since the knocking thing happened with her... but as soon as she saw Komal serving her rice and hot chicken curry... she couldnt just stop herself from jumping up and down just like a little kid.
Prat: Komal... U still.. remember... !!
Kom: Pratty... it was juz two years.... why wouldn't I ?

Tears started flowing through their eyes... which they had hidden for almost the last two years. Hugging Komal tightly... she muttered a soft " I am Sorry " in her ears. Komal too replied... equally softly " I can understand "

While the two friends were busy with the outflow of their emotions... a pair of eyes observed them. The eyes were sharply observing Pratigya... her ways.. her moves... her eyes... and her lips. The figure slowly faded away.. just as the two started having their lunch... with their usual gossips following them .




Edited by paaal - 02 August 2010 at 4:42am

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elle45

Goldie

elle45

Joined: 07 July 2010

Posts: 2260

Posted: 26 July 2010 at 2:04pm | IP Logged
Oh Nice! It's a really really interesting fanfic. And Krishna is all mysterious! Why is he hiding? And why is komal not telling Prats about him?

Please do continue. Really want to know how it goes on. And I like that its going to be short, so it will have a logical ending. Big smile Big smile

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paaal

..CountingStars

IF-Stunnerz

..CountingStars

Joined: 31 March 2009

Posts: 28517

Posted: 26 July 2010 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
Just Read The First 2 Paragraphs, Will Read The Rest When Im Free
It Sounds Good Though Do Continue x

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paaal

preeti4mehta

Senior Member

preeti4mehta

Joined: 08 February 2010

Posts: 567

Posted: 27 July 2010 at 12:19am | IP Logged
pls continue soon. i guess its krishna.

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paaal

paaal

Goldie

paaal

Joined: 24 December 2008

Posts: 1361

Posted: 27 July 2010 at 12:31am | IP Logged
Thank U guys... thank U soo much.....I was really a bot scared wid dis idea... anyway will continue soon.

@Preeti: Yup.. dat was Krishna Tongue

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pickachu

IF-Stunnerz

pickachu

Joined: 26 October 2009

Posts: 25148

Posted: 27 July 2010 at 12:44am | IP Logged
Nice one Thumbs Up .Waiting for the next part.Update soon.




fatima

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paaal

paaal

Goldie

paaal

Joined: 24 December 2008

Posts: 1361

Posted: 27 July 2010 at 12:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by pickachu

Nice one Thumbs Up .Waiting for the next part.Update soon.




fatima



Hii sweetie... u r here.. wow... Hug Hug I was missing our old gang a lot... Thank God..dat u r here Tongue

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paaal

Goldie

paaal

Joined: 24 December 2008

Posts: 1361

Posted: 27 July 2010 at 1:50am | IP Logged
Chapter 2

Lying on the bed... she tried to close her eyes, wanting a little rest after the exhausting journey. But it seemed sleep was miles away from her. She tossed her body left and right... but her mind was still busy going through those events , back two years.

She still remembered the day when she met Komal for the very first time. A girl, chubby faced wearing a pretty red frock... was constinuously crying. Pratigya overheard the hostel superintendents discussing... " Thakur Shaab ki beti hain... please handle with care " . Pratigya couldn't deny the fact that she was kind of amused as the way that girl was shedding tears. Taking quick breaths... and frequently rubbing her eyes and nose with her little plam... she was one of her kind. There was a strict instruction that noone would misbehave with that girl.. because she was Thakur Shaab's daughter. However the only sensible little Pratigya could understand that it making situations worse for her. None of the students dared to interact with her... cause she was under special supervision.

It was their Games hour... when Pratigya for the first time... passed a smile at her. She smiled back instantly... and Pratigya understood that the girl looked really pretty while smiling. Pratigya had always been a carefree girl and also a bit daring. Moving closer to that girl... she kindly asked her... her name. Smile instantly appeared in her face.... as she proudly spelled her name " KOMAL THAKUR SAJJAN SINGH "
Pratigya gave her a puzzled look and asked " And which part is exactly ur name ??" . With an air of arrogance... she had declared.. it was entirely her name... however her parents call her Komal.
Pratigya asked her with a cheeky smile " May I call u Komal ? "
She smiled bac and said " Yuppie"

Thats it... they were together since then. Except the first two days after Komal's entry... they were together for the entire of their hostel and college life. Pratigya always knew that she has no family... from her far distanced relatives... whom she had hardly ever met... she knew that parents died in an accident.. when she was just an year old. Since then she has been with an NGO.. the owner being her dad's friend. When she was three and a half... she was admitted to the school... and the NGO paid for her. N her journey had been absolutely lonely and dull... untill she met Komal. They didnt take much time to be the best of friends... and perhaps the most talked about friends in the entire school. They somehow completely complimented each other.

While during the holidays... every body used to go back to their home to spend vacations... Komal used to call her parents to give her short visits... as she never wanted to leave Pratigya for a month long. In the process... Pratigya in a way became a part of the Thakur family. Though she was quite excited to meet the soo called Thakur Sajjan Singh.. of whom everyboy was petrified of... but she never had that luck. Slowly.. Pratigya started identifying herself as an individual... whose world consisted of Komal and Ammaji. Ammaji was the best lady whom Prat had ever met. Right from their first meeting... she never seemed to distinguish between her daughter and herself. She missed a motherly touch... and Ammaji provided her with that. However Pratigya always wondered... why Ammaji was never much interested in taking them home... and instead preferred her paying visits to them.



It was final day of their school... and Komal and Pratigya had nothing to worry.. cause they would again be together in the college. Nd this time... they were admitted in Ahmedabad University... and since it was Komal's hometown... Komal was too adamant to keep Pratigya along with her... in their home.

She slightly leaned on the back rest of the bed... as she could still feel that strange feeling as she had felt on that day when she .. for the first time has stepped into THAKUR MANSION. Stepping out of the car... her mouth was almost wide open.. as she glanced at the huge.. ivory white colored mansion. It was too large for Pratigya to take a proper glance of the entire mansion.. at a single strech.
She stepped inside with trembling feet... all over her life....she has always stayed in one small room... with just the things neccessary for her. Such huge mansions... made her feel nervous. But howvever the usual warmt of Komal and Ammaji helped her to recover from her strange feelings soon. Just within some few days.. she made herself completely comfortable in the new place.

But still she never had the luck to meet the male members of the family. Ammaji always said her that Thakur Shaab remains too busy with his work... and hardly gets time to come home... but as far as she could collect from people around... she knew there was some kind of strain in the relationship between Thakur Shaab and Ammaji... and she made it a point never to investigate about this matter...as it may hurt Ammaji.

It was a pleasant evening... when Pratigya was busy with her assignments...and Komal came up to her with a photograph in her hand. She was almost jumping up and down on her bed.. and giggled away at her own thoughts. Pratigya could clearly see her blushing... and without wasting any minute... she made her way to her friend.

Prat: Whoa.. wat happened... wat makes u behave like this?
Kom: Check this out.... (showing her the pic) But Keep in mind... hez RESERVED

Pratigya almost snatched away the photograph from her hand. There was a pic of a handsome guy... dressed in suits. His hairs were undone and and lips were curved into a small smile.

Kom: Howz he ?
Prat: Yeah .. Gud.. But wait.. whuz he ??

Kom: Tongue Dad wants me to marry him... Embarrassed
Prat: Wat... ?? U r crazy ??

Kom: Kyun ?? Hez good-looking
Prat: Is that all u think is important ?

Kom: Hez rich too...
Prat: Hmn.. but how about his nature... his character..??

Kom: Uff My daadi-ammma.. am not getting married to him the next day... we still have six months to complete our college... n its after dat....

Pratigya could clearly see that Komal had already fallen for the guy. Thinking that it was in a way her family matter... she decided not to speak much. However... she asked her " Whats his name ??"

" ANGAD YADAV " said komal , while getting out of the room.

The next six months were perhaps the most rushed time in the life of Pratigya. In one hand.. it was the last six months... and there were lots of assignments to be done... and den... The new entry of Angad... made Komal much busy. Angad would often request Komal.. out for dates with him. But however.. Pratigya never liked the look in his eyes. Every time she saw him waiting outside the college gate... he seemed to be checking out girls. But all these qualities of Angad seemed to be overlooked by the Thakur's. The entire family was happy that the marriage was happenning.

Pratigya always felt a bit uncomfortable in Angad's presence and hence always made herself busy with one or the other work.. whenever he was there. It was one evening.... when Angad had been home to meet Komal...while Komal and Ammaji had been to the jeweller's place. Pratigya made him sit in the hall while herself was too conscious. She could clearly see that Angad's eyes were fixed upon her face... and in the next moment... she felt his warm breaths on her shoulder. She had almost started trembling... when she heard Komal laughing out loudly.

Prat: Komal.. tu yahaan ? N..
Kom: OMG.. hara diya tune mujhe bet !!!!

Prat: Bet...( she exchanged looks with Komal and Angad )
Kom: Yup.. madam... aree Angad said me.. that u r too shy... and that he would prove it...

Prat: What ??
Kom: Yeah... and mainne kahan.. nopes.. my frd isnt shy...so..bet lagaye... lekin the way u were trembling... ROFL

Pratigya looked around to see Angad and Komal laughing loud loudly... She wanted to tell Komal.. that he had other intentions... but his palnning was too good. Pratihya knew that she had to expose him... but Komal was too blinded in his love. She needed to be very careful.


It was finally the day of engagement. Komal had anyway found out that Pratigya didnt take that days happening in a good note. She kept on convincing her that Angad is a good guy... untill Pratigya was half convinced. Pratigya too.. at other mind.. thought.. may b.. it was she who was just overreacting. However.. she wasnt fully convinced....

That evening... Komal was getting ready..in her room. The engagement ceremony was about to begin in another hour and half. Pratigya wanted to remain simple with a salwar kameez... but Ammaji forced her to put a lehenga-choli. Accompanying Komal... in the dressing room... she was quite surprised as Angad made his way in the room even without knocking. While Pratigya avoided any eye contact with him... he continued...

Ang: Ohh My My..u ladies look breathtaking !!
Kom: Really...? Thanks..

Ang: By the way.. sweetheart... would u mind.. if I want to speak with ur best friend for some time.. alone ?

Pratigya turned back abruptly listening to him..and before she could tell anything... Komal said out loud and clear " Sure... no wrries "

Angad looked at Pratigya and with a wink.. said her " Terrace.. right now "

Pratigya looked at Komal.. and she gave her a understanding node. Just as Angad went out of the room.. Komal said her " Lagta hain.. tujhe sorry bolna chahta hain... U noe wat... even he is feeling guilty after that bet thing .... Go and talk to him "

Pratigya was completely conscious that something is going to happen... but however deciding to keep her mind at bay... she followed Komal. The terrace was absolutely decorated... and as soon as Pratigya stepped in... she called him loudly.

In the next instant.... she felt a hand on her mouth... holding it tightly... choking her voice... and the other hand on her waist. She was pulled up by someone... as she felt herself crashing against someone's chest. With a sudden force.. she was made to face him.. and her eyes grew wide open.. as she realized that it was none other than Angad. Within the next second.. she felt his hand.. on her back.. struggling to pull apart the stings of her top. In the moment.. she went completely blank. The only thing that played in her mind was.. I need to expose him.. and save myself as well. Suddenly an idea struct her... as that was the only probable way she could get out Angad's grip.. at the present moment.


With a sudden force .. she tightened her hold on him... thus completely distracting him. He gave a wide grin in pleasure as he realized that even Pratigya was reciprocating. But before he could doanything more.... Pratigya said him.." Angad. !! Stop.. I can understand ur feelings for me... and believe me.. I TOO HAVE THE SAME FOR U"

The sudden unexpected words... made Angad lossen his grip on her. He looked bac at her in a confused way. Pratigya continued..." Look Angad... U r marrying Komal... I noe.. u dont love her.. u just love her money... and u want me... But this is not the time darling. Even I want u to get all the money from her... and den.. we can do whatever U WANT. Agar kissi bhi tarah se... aaj yeh engagement ruk jati hain... then u will lose ur fortune... and I certainly dont want that to happen. So hold ur passion for some more days... I will b all URS "

Her idea did wonders.... the wild Angad... was tamed. He believed her words. and followed her downstairs happily.

The moment she was back in the party.... her mind was busy finding ways to expose him. It was very important to get Ammaji and Komal together and for her to tell them the truth. However... with her extreme efforts.. she managed to get them together.. in her room. While Ammaji was all restless... because the guests were waiting.. Pratigya slowly started her story. She said.. all dat she has observed off Angad... and all that Angad tried to do... She realized that none of the ladies were totally convinced... and she juse requested Ammaji to postpone the engagement anyhow... so that she gets time to expose her. But as it is... Luck has never favored her. As soon as they were getting into her confidence... she heard something... that completely reversed the game.

Just as Ammaji was about to make a plan to postpone the engagement.. anyhow... they heard a recorder playing.. the record being played by Angad. All the speakers that were till late playing avrious wedding songs..together played something entirely different. The entire wedding hall.. revibrated...as the recording started...

"Look Angad... U r marrying Komal... I noe.. u dont love her.. u just love her money... and u want me... But this is not the time darling. Even I want u to get all the money from her... and den.. we can do whatever U WANT. Agar kissi bhi tarah se... aaj yeh engagement ruk jati hain... then u will lose ur fortune... and I certainly dont want that to happen. So hold ur passion for some more days... I will b all URS "


Pratigya almost trembled... as she saw the immediate feeling of disgust in Ammaji and Komal's eyes. They looked at her with eyes full of hatred. She could hear the men growling below..in the engagement hall...as Angad continued on the speaker " I had no other option than to cooperate with her that moment...else I would have never been able to expose her. I am marrying Komal... and I would definitely not want that a crippled minded girl like Pratigya stays with her. "


That was Pratigya's last moment in the Mansion. SHe never knew... how they could soo easily lose their faith on her. While Komal was too hocked to react... Ammaji started sheding tears. That day.. for the first time.... Pratigya saw THAKUR SAJJAN SINGH... dragging her out of the mansion.... and not a single voice came up to defend her.

She lied back on the bed... as she felt her eyes burning with hot tears. Wiping off her tears... she took out the photograph of Ammaji and Komal..which she always kept with her. " I always knew that truth would come out someday...but I only regret it took too much time for u to see it. Ur faith on me wasnt wrong Amma... I was true. Please.. forgive Me "


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