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Story-l1a2o2c3 10 21 by m_kal2011 (Page 2)

bhinder.thind IF-Dazzler
bhinder.thind
bhinder.thind

Joined: 03 April 2010
Posts: 4013

Posted: 24 July 2010 at 1:17am | IP Logged
First of all Congrats to join Story Writer Club of IF LOL Just kidding... Now About Story, At first sight, It looked attention seeking and very interesting ,...Now about content, I found dialogue Problem which is pretty obvious if you are not good in language you are writing... Other thing, Was missing grip of characters and story.. I felt a bit.. Mystery was just superb..it stole the show..But I could not get idea how KIND can be DAYA? Still confused about this.... Love the way you brought Trio in this story .. Others got less to speak but was effective.. Ending was happy .. Tongue
@Never be disappointed because of your language.. I happens..even my hindi is not so good.. But just keep on trying and one day you will be on track.. Practice language as much as you can..Never feel ashamed that other people speak and write better than you.. God Bless ya!!! and yeah hats off to your dedication and passion you have showed ..instead of being week in Hindi,you still tried and write a beautiful story.. Clap Clap Clap
Bhavanab Coolbie
Bhavanab
Bhavanab

Joined: 31 March 2009
Posts: 23754

Posted: 24 July 2010 at 2:40am | IP Logged
Hey m_kall sorry for the late response !! Anyways coming to the story,its indeed a good work keeping in mind this your first one,language problem hotha hai,you'll improve in it as you keep writing !! Mystery element was superb,I loved it just one small suggestion the story missed a kind of X-FACTOR(but that's not so important) !! you know that grip of characters and story,as you'll keep writing you'll surely get better with that,I know you're great at maintaining suspense and your story can be made into a lovely episode with proper direction,all the best with your future creations will be waiting to read more !!! and yeah as Bhinder said welcome to our story writers gang !!!
m_kal2011 IF-Sizzlerz
m_kal2011
m_kal2011

Joined: 25 June 2010
Posts: 10828

Posted: 25 July 2010 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
Thank you, Bhavanab
nishalpvsk Senior Member
nishalpvsk
nishalpvsk

Joined: 28 October 2009
Posts: 256

Posted: 07 August 2010 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
goood ttmept
keep it up
n continue with ur wok

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

m_kal2011

m_kal2011 IF-Sizzlerz
m_kal2011
m_kal2011

Joined: 25 June 2010
Posts: 10828

Posted: 07 August 2010 at 10:20pm | IP Logged
Thanks a lot.
dr.fahmi Goldie
dr.fahmi
dr.fahmi

Joined: 15 July 2009
Posts: 1484

Posted: 20 November 2010 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
Sorry m_kal for very late response. Dont know how i missed this one. It was a different story with a good plot and fast pace. But i felt except trio rest of the team did nt get much space. Loved abhijeet sir in itSmile. Code part was different and interesting. I will rate it 4 out of 5, marks cut for less team involvement.Clap And lastly one complain. u were probably newbie when u wrote this, right? Why havent u wrote again?

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

suhani.cipamisam_kal2011

m_kal2011 IF-Sizzlerz
m_kal2011
m_kal2011

Joined: 25 June 2010
Posts: 10828

Posted: 20 November 2010 at 10:00pm | IP Logged
Thanks Fahmi for your feedback.
Yes, I wrote it when I was a newbie.

Chiinnu IF-Sizzlerz
Chiinnu
Chiinnu

Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 16130

Posted: 20 November 2010 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
please write some new stories, buddy. your first attempt was so nice.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

m_kal2011

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