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Story-l1a2o2c3 10 21 by m_kal2011 (Page 2)

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bhinder.thind

IF-Dazzler

bhinder.thind

Joined: 03 April 2010

Posts: 3977

Posted: 24 July 2010 at 1:17am | IP Logged
First of all Congrats to join Story Writer Club of IF LOL Just kidding... Now About Story, At first sight, It looked attention seeking and very interesting ,...Now about content, I found dialogue Problem which is pretty obvious if you are not good in language you are writing... Other thing, Was missing grip of characters and story.. I felt a bit.. Mystery was just superb..it stole the show..But I could not get idea how KIND can be DAYA? Still confused about this.... Love the way you brought Trio in this story .. Others got less to speak but was effective.. Ending was happy .. Tongue
@Never be disappointed because of your language.. I happens..even my hindi is not so good.. But just keep on trying and one day you will be on track.. Practice language as much as you can..Never feel ashamed that other people speak and write better than you.. God Bless ya!!! and yeah hats off to your dedication and passion you have showed ..instead of being week in Hindi,you still tried and write a beautiful story.. Clap Clap Clap

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Bhavanab

Coolbie

Bhavanab

Joined: 31 March 2009

Posts: 23640

Posted: 24 July 2010 at 2:40am | IP Logged
Hey m_kall sorry for the late response !! Anyways coming to the story,its indeed a good work keeping in mind this your first one,language problem hotha hai,you'll improve in it as you keep writing !! Mystery element was superb,I loved it just one small suggestion the story missed a kind of X-FACTOR(but that's not so important) !! you know that grip of characters and story,as you'll keep writing you'll surely get better with that,I know you're great at maintaining suspense and your story can be made into a lovely episode with proper direction,all the best with your future creations will be waiting to read more !!! and yeah as Bhinder said welcome to our story writers gang !!!

m_kal2011

IF-Sizzlerz

m_kal2011

Joined: 25 June 2010

Posts: 10828

Posted: 25 July 2010 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
Thank you, Bhavanab

nishalpvsk

Senior Member

nishalpvsk

Joined: 28 October 2009

Posts: 256

Posted: 07 August 2010 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
goood ttmept
keep it up
n continue with ur wok

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

m_kal2011

m_kal2011

IF-Sizzlerz

m_kal2011

Joined: 25 June 2010

Posts: 10828

Posted: 07 August 2010 at 10:20pm | IP Logged
Thanks a lot.

dr.fahmi

Goldie

dr.fahmi

Joined: 15 July 2009

Posts: 1483

Posted: 20 November 2010 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
Sorry m_kal for very late response. Dont know how i missed this one. It was a different story with a good plot and fast pace. But i felt except trio rest of the team did nt get much space. Loved abhijeet sir in itSmile. Code part was different and interesting. I will rate it 4 out of 5, marks cut for less team involvement.Clap And lastly one complain. u were probably newbie when u wrote this, right? Why havent u wrote again?

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

suhani.cipamisam_kal2011

m_kal2011

IF-Sizzlerz

m_kal2011

Joined: 25 June 2010

Posts: 10828

Posted: 20 November 2010 at 10:00pm | IP Logged
Thanks Fahmi for your feedback.
Yes, I wrote it when I was a newbie.

Chiinnu

IF-Sizzlerz

Chiinnu

Joined: 23 May 2010

Posts: 16130

Posted: 20 November 2010 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
please write some new stories, buddy. your first attempt was so nice.

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m_kal2011

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