How are adolescents supposed to be treated?

Posted: 13 years ago
Hello people! 😊

I come here to the DM section almost everyday and go through every major topic of the day. I love it here, you people have logic and you have fun as well in here. Good. 😳

Okay, so here's this question I've always had in mind since I was 11. (That was 2 and half years back 😆)

My mother made me sit next to her and explained to me important things a teenager needs to know. You know how it is, a girl matures early and all. She told me how from a bubbly and chirpy child, I'm evolving into an extroverted and confident young lady.

I wasn't very matured then and all I understood out of that was I was growing up. 😆 Why and how; neither I knew nor did I care! 😆

I see around some friends of mine indulging in things like never before. Supposedly, a girl who topped the class every time and was in the good books of everybody has turned just the opposite and when she relates all this to her parents, or rather mother . . . she only scolds her.

I have heard and generalized that an adolescent should be treated in just the opposite manner. You can either make or break it is the kind of situations we guys face everyday. I find myself strong enough to face whatsoever my mother has to say about bad grades/guy of my class calling me/emotional outbursts but  I don't find my friends doing the same! It's difficult for most of them to handle the changes in them as well as the pressure of parents and good grades.

So, my question is . . how are we, adolescents supposed to be treated according to you? I'm the youngest person around here, I believe and you are all very much older to me. I wanted to know your opinion and also some tips you can give out of your experience as a teenager. ðŸ˜Š

Regards,
Kanky
Posted: 13 years ago

Spare the rod and spoil the child and adolescent too, if the going on in DM at present is any indication.

Posted: 13 years ago

Not sure, I get your question completely.

 

Adolescents should be treated like adolescents. Teenagers are no longer children and cannot be coddled, protected, and watched over constantly like young children. They are old enough to be left alone and trusted to a certain extent. This is the time where they have to venture out, make their own mistakes and learn from them.

 

At the same time, they are not adults. They do not have the maturity, experience and frame of mind to act like responsible adults. There is a lot of peer pressure positive as well as negative. The mind also is more malleable and succumbs to influences, positive as well as negative, more easily. In that sense they constantly need to be reminded, advised, reprimanded and punished to lead them in the right direction.

 

Recollecting my teenage years, I never appreciated it when my parents or teachers even advised me against something or told me what to do. I found them intrusive and overbearing. However, now that I look back; I'm honestly glad for everything they did – for every time they let me be myself as well as for every time they held me back and made me upset. It was all worth it, and they did the right things.

 

Got to agree with Crazy Sunny here too, spare the rod and spoil the child. People are getting too soft on their children.

Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by return_to_hades


Not sure, I get your question completely.

I'm glad. 😳

 

Adolescents should be treated like adolescents. Teenagers are no longer children and cannot be coddled, protected, and watched over constantly like young children. They are old enough to be left alone and trusted to a certain extent. This is the time where they have to venture out, make their own mistakes and learn from them.

Aah, this is one more problem I kind of forgot mentioning! Trust is what a teenager needs but some parents don't trust their children and children who cross their limits are one of those! The ones who are kept an eye on 24x7 are the ones who are spoiled! 😆

 

At the same time, they are not adults. They do not have the maturity, experience and frame of mind to act like responsible adults. There is a lot of peer pressure positive as well as negative. The mind also is more malleable and succumbs to influences, positive as well as negative, more easily. In that sense they constantly need to be reminded, advised, reprimanded and punished to lead them in the right direction.

Punishing becomes necessary in some situations, I admit and I do get punished. To be honest, I like it. My mother keeps shouting all day on baseless grounds, my dad doesn't have much time for me but they to me are the perfect parents!  Everybody has his/her flaws. I respect them for what they do, whatsoever.

 

Recollecting my teenage years, I never appreciated it when my parents or teachers even advised me against something or told me what to do. I found them intrusive and overbearing. However, now that I look back; I'm honestly glad for everything they did ' for every time they let me be myself as well as for every time they held me back and made me upset. It was all worth it, and they did the right things.


NOBODY likes being advised. 😆 But we all fail to understand the importance of being guided. After I and my mother are finished fighting for the day, I realize whatever she said may not make complete sense and the fact that she was literally squealing, still she was right and I was wrong! And then I go, apologize. Almost everyday! 😆

 

Got to agree with Crazy Sunny here too, spare the rod and spoil the child. People are getting too soft on their children.




Thanks for replying!
Edited by -Kanky- - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Kankshita ji, adolescents should be treated with respect and as young adults. They may need some guidance at timesso that they do not fall into the wrong company.
These days the autocratic way of instructing is no longer workable and communications need to be two ways.
Another problem is that several young kids (mainly boys) these days are hooked on to computer games and I guess they should just be allowed some time for it. 
 
Edited by Summer3 - 13 years ago
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by Summer3


Kanshita ji, adolescents should be treated with respect and as young adults. They may need some guidance at timesso that they do not fall into the wrong company.
These days the autocratic way of instructing is no longer workable and communications need to be two ways.
Another problem is that several young kids (mainly boys) these days are hooked on to computer games and I guess they should just be allowed some time for it. 
 


It's KANKSHITA, Summer. 😳😆

Anyway, yeah . . thanks for replying! We guys are hooked to the computer BUT most of us, get good marks to which is the only thing most parents want! 😆
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by -Kanky-




It's KANKSHITA, Summer. 😳😆

Anyway, yeah . . thanks for replying! We guys are hooked to the computer BUT most of us, get good marks to which is the only thing most parents want! 😆
Kankshita ji, sorry for the error.
 
Yep, good marks with no remarks is a saving grace.
 
 
Posted: 13 years ago
Here is some research in dealing with Adolescent kids
It is also emphasised that their privacy should not be invaded
 
 
It becomes quite difficult to handle children when they turn into adolescent teens. It is that time in which they go through a major transformation in their lives. The puberty calls in for a number of emotional, mental and biological changes, which is one of the major reasons for their unpredictable behavior. Thus, at this point of time, it is very necessary for the parents to be understanding as well as patient. However, most of the parents find it very difficult to tackle the situation. To know how to handle an adolescent teen, read on.
 
How to Deal with Adolescent Child 
    You should remember not to invade their privacy, such as reading their diary. Even if you have to, make sure your children never finds out. In case they do, they will feel cheated.
    Respect your growing teenager. If you expect your child to respect you, show respect too. This way you will be able to play the part of a role model.
      Accept the fact that their friends and the life outside matters more to them than life at home. No matter how much you might work hard for them, how much time you spend with them on dinner or breakfast, your teens will always give priority to themselves, their friends, dating and the latest gadgets, they would expect you to buy for them.
        Don't shout at them. The more you shout, the more they will shout back. If they ignore you, you can also try to ignore them back.
        If you are a mother and your teen is out of control, you can think of a sob-session. Explain your teen about your feelings and why you are worried. This really works out with daughters.
          Never resort to violence. This will aggravate the problem, making your teenage kids more unruly.
            One of the best things to do with them is to sit down and have a talk. There are always different aspects to a story and you might discover that probably you are the one at fault. Do not assume that your teen is stupid and immature.
          • Be involved, but don't interfere too much. At the same time, don't spoil them. Don't give in to unreasonable demands. Be patient.
          Edited by Summer3 - 13 years ago
          Posted: 13 years ago
          ^^Thanks so much for posting it here!

          We get good marks as well as remarks, some peeps don't but what do we do in this? 😆

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