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How are adolescents supposed to be treated?

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epiphany.

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epiphany.

Joined: 01 July 2010

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Posted: 21 July 2010 at 10:55am | IP Logged
Hello people! Smile

I come here to the DM section almost everyday and go through every major topic of the day. I love it here, you people have logic and you have fun as well in here. Good. Embarrassed

Okay, so here's this question I've always had in mind since I was 11. (That was 2 and half years back LOL)

My mother made me sit next to her and explained to me important things a teenager needs to know. You know how it is, a girl matures early and all. She told me how from a bubbly and chirpy child, I'm evolving into an extroverted and confident young lady.

I wasn't very matured then and all I understood out of that was I was growing up. LOL Why and how; neither I knew nor did I care! LOL

I see around some friends of mine indulging in things like never before. Supposedly, a girl who topped the class every time and was in the good books of everybody has turned just the opposite and when she relates all this to her parents, or rather mother . . . she only scolds her.

I have heard and generalized that an adolescent should be treated in just the opposite manner. You can either make or break it is the kind of situations we guys face everyday. I find myself strong enough to face whatsoever my mother has to say about bad grades/guy of my class calling me/emotional outbursts but  I don't find my friends doing the same! It's difficult for most of them to handle the changes in them as well as the pressure of parents and good grades.

So, my question is . . how are we, adolescents supposed to be treated according to you? I'm the youngest person around here, I believe and you are all very much older to me. I wanted to know your opinion and also some tips you can give out of your experience as a teenager. Smile

Regards,
Kanky

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casper2

Goldie

casper2

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Posted: 21 July 2010 at 11:01am | IP Logged

Spare the rod and spoil the child and adolescent too, if the going on in DM at present is any indication.

epiphany.

IF-Sizzlerz

epiphany.

Joined: 01 July 2010

Posts: 19712

Posted: 21 July 2010 at 11:14am | IP Logged
^^ What does that mean??

return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006

Posts: 20232

Posted: 21 July 2010 at 11:28am | IP Logged

Not sure, I get your question completely.

 

Adolescents should be treated like adolescents. Teenagers are no longer children and cannot be coddled, protected, and watched over constantly like young children. They are old enough to be left alone and trusted to a certain extent. This is the time where they have to venture out, make their own mistakes and learn from them.

 

At the same time, they are not adults. They do not have the maturity, experience and frame of mind to act like responsible adults. There is a lot of peer pressure positive as well as negative. The mind also is more malleable and succumbs to influences, positive as well as negative, more easily. In that sense they constantly need to be reminded, advised, reprimanded and punished to lead them in the right direction.

 

Recollecting my teenage years, I never appreciated it when my parents or teachers even advised me against something or told me what to do. I found them intrusive and overbearing. However, now that I look back; I'm honestly glad for everything they did for every time they let me be myself as well as for every time they held me back and made me upset. It was all worth it, and they did the right things.

 

Got to agree with Crazy Sunny here too, spare the rod and spoil the child. People are getting too soft on their children.

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rekhab25Shipra_S_DrEaM_Jess.Beyond_the_VeilAngel-likeDevilepiphany...RamKiJanaki..

epiphany.

IF-Sizzlerz

epiphany.

Joined: 01 July 2010

Posts: 19712

Posted: 21 July 2010 at 11:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Not sure, I get your question completely.

I'm glad. Embarrassed

 

Adolescents should be treated like adolescents. Teenagers are no longer children and cannot be coddled, protected, and watched over constantly like young children. They are old enough to be left alone and trusted to a certain extent. This is the time where they have to venture out, make their own mistakes and learn from them.

Aah, this is one more problem I kind of forgot mentioning! Trust is what a teenager needs but some parents don't trust their children and children who cross their limits are one of those! The ones who are kept an eye on 24x7 are the ones who are spoiled! LOL

 

At the same time, they are not adults. They do not have the maturity, experience and frame of mind to act like responsible adults. There is a lot of peer pressure positive as well as negative. The mind also is more malleable and succumbs to influences, positive as well as negative, more easily. In that sense they constantly need to be reminded, advised, reprimanded and punished to lead them in the right direction.

Punishing becomes necessary in some situations, I admit and I do get punished. To be honest, I like it. My mother keeps shouting all day on baseless grounds, my dad doesn't have much time for me but they to me are the perfect parents!  Everybody has his/her flaws. I respect them for what they do, whatsoever.

 

Recollecting my teenage years, I never appreciated it when my parents or teachers even advised me against something or told me what to do. I found them intrusive and overbearing. However, now that I look back; I'm honestly glad for everything they did ' for every time they let me be myself as well as for every time they held me back and made me upset. It was all worth it, and they did the right things.


NOBODY likes being advised. LOL But we all fail to understand the importance of being guided. After I and my mother are finished fighting for the day, I realize whatever she said may not make complete sense and the fact that she was literally squealing, still she was right and I was wrong! And then I go, apologize. Almost everyday! LOL

 

Got to agree with Crazy Sunny here too, spare the rod and spoil the child. People are getting too soft on their children.




Thanks for replying!


Edited by -Kanky- - 21 July 2010 at 11:39am

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Summer3

IF-Stunnerz

Summer3

Joined: 24 September 2007

Posts: 44199

Posted: 22 July 2010 at 12:54am | IP Logged
Kankshita ji, adolescents should be treated with respect and as young adults. They may need some guidance at timesso that they do not fall into the wrong company.
These days the autocratic way of instructing is no longer workable and communications need to be two ways.
Another problem is that several young kids (mainly boys) these days are hooked on to computer games and I guess they should just be allowed some time for it. 
 


Edited by Summer3 - 22 July 2010 at 8:45am

epiphany.

IF-Sizzlerz

epiphany.

Joined: 01 July 2010

Posts: 19712

Posted: 22 July 2010 at 4:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Summer3

Kanshita ji, adolescents should be treated with respect and as young adults. They may need some guidance at timesso that they do not fall into the wrong company.
These days the autocratic way of instructing is no longer workable and communications need to be two ways.
Another problem is that several young kids (mainly boys) these days are hooked on to computer games and I guess they should just be allowed some time for it. 
 


It's KANKSHITA, Summer. EmbarrassedLOL

Anyway, yeah . . thanks for replying! We guys are hooked to the computer BUT most of us, get good marks to which is the only thing most parents want! LOL

Summer3

IF-Stunnerz

Summer3

Joined: 24 September 2007

Posts: 44199

Posted: 22 July 2010 at 8:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Kanky-

Originally posted by Summer3

Kanshita ji, adolescents should be treated with respect and as young adults. They may need some guidance at timesso that they do not fall into the wrong company.
These days the autocratic way of instructing is no longer workable and communications need to be two ways.
Another problem is that several young kids (mainly boys) these days are hooked on to computer games and I guess they should just be allowed some time for it. 
 


It's KANKSHITA, Summer. EmbarrassedLOL

Anyway, yeah . . thanks for replying! We guys are hooked to the computer BUT most of us, get good marks to which is the only thing most parents want! LOL
Kankshita ji, sorry for the error.
 
Yep, good marks with no remarks is a saving grace.
 
 

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