I turned in Purvi's bed. Yes, I was at her home. After what happened, I didn't feel to go back at home...I needed to talk about my confusion with a friend.
Guzaarish was Arjun. I had this doubt when he , at lunch, replied to me about how he knew Karan. Karan, asked him 5 lakhs as he had ended up in a bad turnover. Arjun had "stolen" the money from his father's bank. A week after, Bade Papa had discovered and Karan denied everything. They had a big quarrell and they also had a fight. In the end, Arjun lost his friend and left New Delhi
In that moment a doubt has formed in my mind since Guzaarish told me a similar story.
But I didn't pay to much attention but when I saw Arjun at the restaurant...I was overwhelmed by different emotions...from one side I was surprised to see him there, I was comforted by the fact that Guzaarish wasn't Karan, I was afraid that he had fooled me again.
His words vibrated in my mind. I love you Arohi
His words were lost, words rang inside me like an echo down the valleys re-emerge as a star in a lonely night. Silent tears hadn't stopped falling on my cheeks.
The images flow through my mind as on the screen of a cinema and the film focuses on slowly.
I had run away, leaving the orchid on the table. Me who ran always away from love ... it had been useless to run away from love ... then love had found me. I thought to Purvi's words.
Your happiness that you accept or not, is Arjun, but you'll never admit it, you will never admit that your happiness is named Arjun Punj and you know why? Because you prefer to lie to yourself because the truth hurts bitterly. Arohi, listen, open your eyes and live your life as you deserve. The time of suffering is over, now there are you and Arjun.
How is possible that Purvi understood that I'm in love and me...not?
I confided her my secret, the reason I lost faith in love. After told her my secret, I felt better, I found a person who understood me. My head ached a little and I was feeling very confused before falling asleep
***
It was raining.
I was in my room, sitting on the chair. The phone continued to ring I looked out to the drops that were beginning to settle on the sill. She had run away from me, taking away my only reason for living. She went away.
I told her my emotions and she left me. With a single gesture, she stepped on the sprouts, turned off the lights, destroyed the dreams of a "Us". But I would not have surrendered. I wanted to know the reason of her gesture. In her eyes, I read the need of me. Maybe she is afraid, maybe she need some time...and then between us maybe will born a true love. I have to wait...she'll be mine.
After yet another call, I decided to pick up
"Hello?" I said.
After few seconds, the phone fell from my hand....It wasn't real. The worst night of my life wasn't over yet. Silent tears began to fall on my face.
In the background, in the television some words reflected my situation.
"6 billion people in the world, 6 billion of souls. And sometimes all you do need is one"
Yes, in this moment I needed her....Arohi...only her because she has changed me and no else managed to do it.
***
In the morning I woke up with a headache, my temples were throbbing and my state of mind was ... confused. The night didn't give me any advice.
I took a shower and put on the clothes that Purvi left for me before going to work. She also left me a note:
"You are not running away from him, from his love. You're not running away from his eyes and his sweetness ....you're running away from yourself."
I had already decided. I'd talk to Arjun.
It's already 9.05 am and Arjun didn't arrive till yet. Strange. He was punctual like a Swiss watch...9.00 am, I usually heard the rumour of the elevator. Then suddenly I heard really the elevator. Oh God. I immediately bowed my head and I started to write down the meeting.
Rumours of steps. I mentally thought that the moment of truth came.
"Excuse me Madam" said a voice. That voice didn't belong to Arjun. So I raised my head. In front of me, there was his driver. I looked at him puzzled. What were he doing here?
"Madam, Arjun Sir left his suitcase in the car this morning. Could you please bring to him?"
I nodded and I took it from his hands. He left.
This was strange. Arjun never forgot anything. So how is this possible?
I stood up and went in front of his office. I knocked twice but no response.
I opened the door slowly and I entered. Arjun was standing at the window, his face turned towards the city. I laid the briefcase on his desk.
"Sir, is everything okay?" I asked. What a stupid question. After how I have behaved with him last evening, maybe he is angry with me.
I approached him and he was still living me the back. "Sir" I said again. Nothing.
I circled around him. I raised my head and what I saw left me heartbroken.
He was the mask of the pain. He had red eyes. He had cried Everything about him at that moment seemed to scream "I'm in pieces." His eyes were dull and his face showed sadness. He was standing up, his eyes were shiny, a clear sign he was holding back tears, the eyes were swollen and red obviously he had been crying all the night. I couldn't believe. I wouldn't believe he was crying maybe because of my reaction.
"Arjun" I whispered. He didn't listen me. He was lost in his own world in that moment looking at a distant point.
I stretched out my hand to his face and touched his cheek with my fingers. Feeling my touch, Arjun roused from his thoughts and understand that I was really in front of him.
The tears began to streak down his cheeks.
Without thinking twice, Arjun jumped into my arms and hugged me hiding his face against my shoulder.
I made no resistance .. even though he was hugging me tightly , a strange feeling inside me at that time aside every other need. I did not know what to do, how to behave....but I followed my heart
I returned the hug. After several minutes, I spoke:
"Arjun, what happened?".
He moved away a little from me.
"Dad..." he said with a hoarse voice "Dad had an accident yesterday."
I looked at him. I was shocked.
"What? How is it possible?" I asked.
"Dad had an accident last night. Mom said he broke his leg and has some bruising on the body and a slight trauma" he spoke sadly.
"Why don't you do visit him? Bade Papa will be very happy" I said.
He looked at me. "Arohi" he started "We are not in good relationship since many years. Every time we spoke to each other, it was for work. And now...how could I go visit him?"
He was suffering. He loved his father. I shook my head.
That was true. It's better to address the problems and not to escape from them.
"But Arohi, I cannot do this"
I took his hand and tighten it.
"I'll help you" I said "You must be able to talk with him...We'll go in the hospital"
He observe at our hands intertwined and looked at me.
"We?" he asked puzzled.
In that moment, I remembered his poem
"And I'll be there till the stars not shine anymore ...
Till the heavens burst
and the words do not rhyme."
***
I walked inside the corridors of the hospital and arrived in front of the room of Dad. Arohi was next to me. Her hand was tighten with mine. I hesitated in front of the door closed. And now? What would I say to dad now?
"Arjun" said Arohi "Go, Bade Papa is waiting for you"
I looked in her eyes. I still can't believe that she was here. I left her hand and after had caressed her cheek, I entered in the room.
"Savi" said my dad while reading a newspaper "How many times you needed for taking me a glass of water?"
"Hey Dad" I said to him.
Dad immediately lowered the newspaper and looked at me...happy.
"Hey Arjun" he replied "How do you knew that I'm here?"
I approached him and took place on a seat and then spoke.
"Mom called me yesterday evening and told me about your incident"
Dad smiled. "Savi...Savi" he said "She is so unique"
"But she suffers because we're not in good terms" I concluded.
That was true. She had tried many times to make us peace but she never succeed... It was my pride that told me to wait...he has to make the first move, he had to give up for first... not me. I was right. He was wrong.
"Arjun, don't you think it's time to end this futile rivalries? "
Yes, the only thing I had to do was to put aside the pride and move on!.
***
I was waiting in front of Bade Papa's room since 15 minutes. Arjun was still inside. I was surprised of my reaction. Why had I hugged him at the office?
I didn't under stand the reason..maybe I was started feeling something for him...a feeling that slowly was born, had blossomed as a rose in a fertile garden... Was it a feeling stronger...the feeling called Love? I didn't know because my heart had not had enough time to adjust to his intrusion. I was so confused.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of some steps. I raised my head and saw a women approaching me. She had a face that inspired me tenderness and trust ... she had green eyes and black hair gathered behind the neck.. She reminded me of someone but I did not know who.
"Arohi" she said "Oh god...is really you?"
I got up frowning my forehead. "Yes" I said puzzled "It's me Arohi but who are you?"
"Arohi" she replied "It's me your Badi Maa"
Badi Maa'.Oh god'.she is Arjun's mom and she's also like my second mom. I met her after many years.
"Badi Maa, sorry I don't recognize you" I said hugging her tightly happy to see her.
We stayed embraced for few times. Hugging her made me feel good.
"So what are you doing here?" she asked once she wiped off her tears.
So we started to talk. We had many issue to talk about. Suddenly Badi Maa exclaimed:
"Wait...You have to see one thing" she said while searching something in her purse. I looked at when my eyes rested on the picture that she had in hand, the background of a sunset, a boy and a girl joined by a kiss.... a simple kiss on the cheek of the girl given by the boy.
"Do you recognize them?" asked me Badi Maa.
I took the photo and shook my head. Who are they?
"It's you and Arjun" she replied smiling.
I was amazed. What!?!?! Arjun had kissed me when we were children.
"Do you remember the day?" she asked.
I closed my eyes trying to remind the scene...but nothing.
"Oh" told Badi Maa "How can you remember that day...you were 6 years old. I took this photo that day when we moved in Delhi. You're crying and Arjun was consoling you. I don't want know what he said to you but you smiled. He kissed you on your cheek and I was there luckily with the camera and ...I seize that moment ".
I became red. In that moments, seemed to like that me and Arjun were as clouds of emotions on the edge, suspended between the spaces of the heart .. like small pieces that resonates in the soul, attached to each other, to never lose. After many years, we met again'why? I didn't know.
"Now" started to say Badi Maa "I'm going to see what are doing my two men".
I hugged her and then she entered in the room.
After few minutes, Arjun came out and approached me.
"So, how is Bade Papa?" I asked.
"He is better. He'll be discharged Sunday's evening." He replied. He was happy. I could read from his expression. He has resolved his problems with his father.
"Good." I told "Then I'm going back to work."
There was no reason to stay. I turned to go away when Arjun's hand grabbed my hand and made me turned. In few seconds, I found myself in Arjun's arms...he was hugging me.
"Thanks Arohi for have been close to me today" he whispered next to my ear. Dhak dhak.
***
I turned off the engine and put the keys in my pocket. I was in front of the building where Arohi lived. It was evening now. I left the car, reaching the entrance. I took the elevator. I pressed the button on the wall of brass, the unmistakable sound of the bell rang inside the house, I heard it too. I saw the handle lowering, I took a deep breath. When the door opened, I saw Arohi in front of me. She was surprised to see me.
"Hey Arohi" I said.
"Good evening Arjun" she replied blushing.
"How are you?" I asked.
"Good" he replied "And how is Bade Papa?"
"He is perfectly fine." I smiled "Well...I'm here to say you an important thing."
She looked at me puzzled.
"Tomorrow morning I'm leaving with mom and dad for Shimla" I said. "I'll stay out of town for one week. I'll be back next Monday, till my comeback Ms. Malhotra will take care of everything."
In front of me, Arohi was staring at me in silence, a stunned expression on her face.
"Oh I understood" she replied.
"I'm here to give you ... this".
I took the orchid from my pocket, taking it between us. I watched her look went down on my hand. "T-thank you .". I turned to Arohi's face, on hearing her voice. Her eyes were only on the orchid in my hands. She reached out the hand to catch it, but hesitated a step away from reaching it. I found myself staring at those nailed fingers insistently maintained.
Too quickly she withdrew her hand, while my remained there, still suspended in the air, before being closed in a fist and dropped on its side.
"For the orchid, I mean. Thanks" continued Arohi. "Arjun, talking about my behavior of that evening"
I stared at her...no, this wasn't the right situation. "I'm confused..."
I didn't give her to time to finish that I made step forward and hugged her tightly.
"Shh" I whispered near to her ear "Take your time, we'll talk when I'll be back".
And I kissed her on the forehead. "Good night, Arohi".
And I run away.
***
I was clutching the phone in my hands, but I did not know what to do.
Call him? And say what?
That I had begun to think to him? I had dreamed him as I had never dreamed anyone?
It was impossible, I could not do it, he would have taken me for mad.
Or not? I put the phone on the sofa on which I sat, and stood up to close the window.
I missed him so much, I have not seen for five days and trying to understand what I was feeling for him made me feel even worse. What I felt for him?
It had been five days since that Sunday, when Arjun had embraced me in his arms even if only briefly. I sighed, chasing off the tears. I started watching the TV when my phone began to ring.
I picked up without reading the name on the screen.
"Hello?" I said.
"Good evening Arohi" said a voice...the voice...he was Arjun. "It's me Arjun"
I recognized you, stupid...I was going to say him
"Good evening Arjun" I replied.
"How are you?" he asked.
Very bad. And all because of you. Tell me why.
"Fine" I lied "And how are you and your family?"
"I'm also good" he said "Mom and dad are fine. What are you doing?"
I'm thinking of you.
"Nothing. I'm watching a film. And you?"
"I'm thinking of you". My heart missed a beat. For me, it was so easy to talk about his feelings.
"I'm missing you". Another beat missed. "Are you missing me?" Heart missed another beat.
He was planning to give me a heart attack. If yes, he was going to do so.
"A bit" I replied.
"Uh" he said. "Can I ask you one thing?"
"Yeah?" I said worried.
"What is the colour of your curtain in living room?" he asked, giggling.
"Why are you asking this?" I asked getting up from the sofa and start walking toward the balcony.
"Because from here I can't see well" he replied.
I reached the balcony "From here" I said "What do you mean?" while looking around. I was feeling a bit stupid.
"Look at your right" he said. I slowly turned to right and....Oh My God. I had a stroke.
Arjun was waving from the other side of the street. I covered my mouth with my hand. Oh God.
"Hey Arohi" Arjun shouted.
"I'm coming" I whispered. I hadn't hung up yet.
Without thinking twice, I run downstairs. I looked right and left and I crossed the road.
I watched him from afar, the face of Arjun was happy, his expression was so joyful. Looked at him helps me to regain composure. Arjun was standing up and slowly approached me. Now only a few inches separating our bodies. I looked over his shoulder, and I wish with all of me to refuge in his arms where I felt safe. It 's a moment: I followed my instincts and I hugged him. I felt at home, once again, I filled my lungs of his perfume, felt his hands stroking my back.
"So you missed me a bit?" said chuckling.
Later, I realised what I done and I loosened the hug. I started to look around me...I didn't have the courage to meet his gaze. But...I have to talk to him. I couldn't go forward with this burden.
"I want to talk with you" I said firmly.
Arjun nodded. "Sure Arohi. " he uttered.
"We'll talk in front of cup of hot chocolate" I said smiling. I didn't want to become icicle.
***
"It's pretty your apartment. Bright"
The living area consisted of both living room and the dining room, delimited from a wall that separated them. The windows were quite large, which together with the furniture clearly gave more light to the environment.
"Thank you" she whispered a few feet from me. I turned my attention from her to place it on the living room: fireplace crackled alive, while on the floor beside the sofa, a blanket was laid slightly wrinkled. It was not hard to imagine that she was sitting on it earlier.
"Please, sit well" she said pointing to the sofa.
Smiling, I passed next to her sitting down.
"I'm going to prepare the chocolate" she said and headed towards the kitchen. I started to watch the house and doing so I went in the balcony. After few minutes'
"Arjuh" said Arohi I turned towards her and she gave me the cup of chocolate.
"Thanks" I said taking the cup. We stayed for a while in silence. "I don't know from where to start" spoke Arohi. I look at her. "Why don't you start from the beginning?" I advised to her. Finally I'll know the reason behind her gesture.
***
"Why don't you start from the beginning?" said Arjun.
I took a deep breath....I have to tell him everything. "It's a long story" I told. Arjun smiled. "You have all the time you want."
And I began to speak.
"I was a kid, I dreamed of changing the world, to meet my true love that lasts forever, as in fairy tales, but this was only a dream and I knew it when I was abruptly catapulted to reality.
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