Laagi Tujhse Lagan

   

One Shot: Pyaar Se Pyaare

Post Reply New Post

Page 1 of 4

Page 1
Page   of 4
Page 2 Page 4

jnawaz

Cool Viewbie

jnawaz

Joined: 14 September 2006

Posts: 16061

Posted: 11 July 2010 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
ok guys...i mean girls...SURPRISE!! i had this one shot in my mind for a few weeks now...so here it is...finally on paper...i hope you all like it...read it...and if i get GOOD comments...nothing like "good job" and thats it...then i may consider doing an epilogue...if you all are interested...but i hope you like it...i really worked hard on this one...and Baba-ji...SURPRISE>..you had no idea did yoU! LOLLOLLOL

NOTE: please excuse any mistakes...was in a hurry cuz of Guli...didnt have time to proof read EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed...

Pyaar se Pyaare

Pyaar nahin hai toh kuch bhi nahin, pyaar hai toh saab kuch hai.

 

Pyaar se pyaare tum ho sanam

Jitna chahoon tumko utna naa hai kaam

Pyaar iss dil mein jagaya

mujhko mujhi se churaya

Ji uthe hai tujhpe marke hum

 

Pyaar ek se hota hai saabse nahin

Tujse joh rishta hai woh rabse nahin

Koi zoor na chal paye jaan saamne tu aaye

Mujeh hos nahin koi rehta hai

Mera haal behi tera jaisa hai

 

Maine suni thi teri dhun joh kabhi

Lagta tha tune mujhe awaaz di

Mere dil ke taroon se tere dil ki taar mile

Mujher teri saaz mein dhalna hai

Baas yehi meri tamanna hai

 

Pyaar se pyaare tum ho sanam

Jitna chahoon tumko utna naa hai kaam

Pyaar iss dil mein jagaya

mujhko mujhi se churaya

Ji uthe hai tujhpe marke hum

 

The sun was beginning its decent for the day as Dutta peddled up to the lake. Getting off of his bicycle he set it aside so that wouldn't get in anyones way. As he approached the top of the stairs that led to the lake he was pleading to God. However, as he got closer he already knew his prayers were going to be left unanswered because as he approached he heard the distinct sound of payals. Even before he hand any visual, he knew she was sitting on the platform at the edge of the lake, her feet swinging back and forth as they dangled over the eded. As much as he loved the sounds of her payals, today they singled his untimely demise. As he took the first few steps down, he saw her familiar body, sitting with her feel dangling just over the landing into the water just like he'd expected, her back to him. Her long, wavy hair fell freely over her shoulders nearly down to her waist. A smile crept up on Dutta's face – there she was, his Naku.

 

"Dutta Beta, aaj toh tu pitega. Bappa, aaj mera raksha karna," Dutta said as he folded his hands and looked up to the sky before beginning his decent.

 

Today was Saturday, their usual day to meet. Dutta always made sure that all his work at the garage was done ahead of time on Saturdays, because he could never risk being late for their special meetings. However, today, just like the previous two weeks, he'd been late. Mr. Rai, the owner of the garage and Dutta's boss, had signed a deal with a taxi service company to be the official repair garage for all the cars in their fleet. The taxi's were coming left and right, nonstop. He had one customer come in late and couldn't leave because Mr. Rai had asked Dutta to take care of the car personally – hence the delay.

 

In his race down the stairs, Dutta ended up kicking a rock that rolled down a few stairs making a sound, causing Naku to turn. Dutta stopped dead in his tracks, bracing himself for the verbal, and possible physical torture that was about to come his way. He was laying out the excuses in his mind but was rendered speechless by Naku's reaction. She simply turned, look at him and turned back. Where Dutta had been expecting a few 'choice' words, he got nothing. He knew it, he was a dead man. Maybe they'd find his body floating in the lake tomorrow morning Dutta thought as he quickly closed the distance between him and Naku.

 

Dutta took a seat next to her and sat quietly, waiting for her to rip into him for being late – her whole lecture about how she hated two things in the world, lying and tardiness. But when she said nothing, he took maters into his own hands.

 

"Jaan, woh Rai saab ne…" Dutta began to say but stopped as Naku stood up and walked away. She must be really pissed Dutta thought, because Naku was not to give the silent treatment – ever.

 

"Ok ok, no excuses," He said as he got to his feet as well. "Ghalti meri thi. Tum joh bhi saza dogi mujhe manzoor hoga. Aapki haar baath sar akhoon par."

 

Dutta put one hand on his chest and bowed down just a little to add dramatic flair. He figured if he could at least get her to smile, he'd live to see another day. The phrase 'hansi toh phasi' came to mind.

 

Naku was still quiet.

 

"Main haar subha tumhare liyeh chai banakar launga," Dutta said. "Main tumhare ghaar ka sara kaam kardunga. Main…main phirse khabi late nahin aaunga…" The list went on and on until Naku turned and faced him.

 

At that moment he saw something he'd never seen in her eyes before – sadness and pain. His Naku was a happy-go-lucky kind of girl who drove people mad with her lectures on everything and anything.

 

"Naku kya hua?" Dutta asked worried. After she said nothing, he went and took her by the shoulders, repeating the question, "Kya hua Naku?"

 

Instead of giving an answer, she shrugged out of his grip and walked a away with her back turned. With her back still turned to him she said, "Meri shaadi tey hogayi."

 

After a seconds pause, Dutta burst out laughing. "Good joke Naku. Maina kaha saza dene ke liyeh, aur tum ho ke mujhe haansa rahe ho."

 

"Main saach keh rahi hoon" Naku said.

 

"Aacha?" Dutta said. "Tik hai, mera ashirwad tumhare saat hai." He raised one hand to show he was giving her his blessing. The chuckle that was coming up, died in his throat when he saw Naku's head and shoulders sag slightly. "Naku, yeh kaisa mazak hai?" His tone was now faintly laced with concern. "Manta hoon ke main dehr se aaya hoon lekin mazak ki bhi haad hoti hai."

 

Without saying anything, Naku turned to face him. When her eyes met his, Dutta knew – he just knew – that nothing would ever be the same.

 

Now that she was looking straight at him, and he stood closer to her, Dutta could easily see her red rimmed eyes. She'd been crying.

 

"Naku?" Dutta said. He couldn't quite formulate a full sentence at this point.

 

"Aaj Khurana Uncle aaye the," Naku began. "Baba ke bachpan ka dost hai. Bees saloon se Canada mein settle hue hai."

 

Naku began telling Dutta about Khurana Uncle. He and her father, Ganpat, had been the quintessential 'chaddi buddies'. They had been neighbors when they were young, even went to the same schools together. Khurana Uncle inherited his family's business which took him to Canada only a few years after he'd gotten married. Distance may have kept the friends apart, but only physically. They talked at least twice a week. Khurana Uncle visited India at least once every two years, and made an effort to stay at their house for at least one week. Therefore, to this day they remained the best of friends.

 

"Toh, woh toh har doh saal mein aate hai. Iss main kaunsi badi baath hai?" Dutta asked.

 

"Unke saath unka beta bhi aaya hai," Naku said.

 

Khurana Uncle also had a son, who had been only five years old when the family moved away. He was now a twenty-five year old, Princeton MBA holding, business tycoon that was running Khurana Industries and taking it to the top of the corporate world.

 

Naku had to turn away from him before she anything else. "Baba aur Uncle ne hum dono ki shaadi pakki kardi hai."

 

"Kya?" Dutta said in a near whisper. "Nahin aaisa nahin hosakta Naku, aaisa nahin ho sakta," he yelled as he turned her to face him. "Tum kissi aur se kaise shaadi kar sakte ho?"

 

Tears rolled down Naku's face as she said, "Main majboor hoon."

 

Dutta let go of her shoulders and began stepping away from her as he said, "Mazak karna baand karo Naku. Tumhare iss mazak se mujhe bohot gabrahat ho raha hai."

 

After a moments silence, it was Naku who finally spoke. "Parso sagaai hai aur ek hafte mein shaadi."

 

"Nahin!" Dutta said, roaring back to life. He came to stand in front of her and grabbed Naku by the shoulders. "Main tumse pyaar karta hoon aur main tumhe khabi kissi aur ka hone nahin dunga! Khabi nahin!"

 

Naku gently pushed his hands off her shoulders. "Faisla hochuka hai," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. She didn't want Dutta to see her tears so she turned away.

 

"Nahin Naku, nahin! Iss faisle ko main nahin manta! Main tumhe kissi aire gaire ke saath jaane nahin deh sakta," Dutta said.

 

Looking to the side, she said, "Unka nam Maan hai."

 

That one phrase was like a dagger in Dutta's heart as he stared at her. When Dutta and Naku realized the seriousness of their relationship, Naku had vowed that once they were married she would only address him as 'aap', she'd never say his name. But now, she was giving that respect to another man.

 

At this point, Dutta knew, half heartedly, he'd already lost this battle, but he had to keep trying.

 

"Naku," he called as he went up to her. "Main jaanta hoon ke tumhe lag raha hai ke hum kuch nahin kaar sakte, lekin aaisa nahin hai. Hum…hum bhag jaate hai," Dutta said when he couldn't think of anything else.

 

"Yeh tum kya keh rahe ho? Main aaisa nahin kaar sakti," Naku said.

 

"Kyun nahin!?"

 

"Main kaise bhag jaun tumhare saath?" Naku asked. "Baba ki izzat mitti mein mil jayegi, unka dil toot jayega aur aaisa main nahin karsakti unke saath."

 

"Tumhare Baba ka dil tum nahin tod sakti, lekin mera dil todna tumhe manzoor hai?" he asked.

 

"Aaisa maat kaho, please," Naku pleaded. "Tum jaante ho naa ke Aayi ke guzar jaane ke baad Baba ne hi mujhe pala hai. Aapni ji-jaan lagadi meri parvarish mein."

 

Dutta recalled the story of Naku's mother, Babi, passing away when Naku was merely three years old. Ganpat was devastated at the loss of his wife, but he had to be strong for his little girl. Through the years his family pressed and pressured him to get married again but Ganpat refused, saying that with Naku he would never take that kind of a chance. What if this new step-mother didn't love Naku, what answer would he give to Babi after he died? So for all these years, he's raised his daughter. He worked hard so that she could have a comfortable living, so that she'd be a well brought up and cultured girl. Thanks to Ganpat's determination, Naku was a girl anyone would want as a daughter.

 

"Tik hai…tik hai…hum Baba se baat karte hai. Unko samjate hai ke hum ek dusre se pyaar karte hai aur ek dusre ke bina nahin jee sakte," Dutta suggested.

 

"Nahin…" Naku began.

 

"Kosish toh karke dekhte hai," Dutta pleaded.

 

"Koshish ki thi maine," Naku told him. "Maan aur shaadi ke baath Baba ne mujhse kaal dopair ko kiya tha. Raath ko, main faisla karliya tha ke main unhe humare bare min saab kuch baata dungi…lekin main aaisa kaar nahin payi."

 

"Kyun?! Kyun nahin kaar payi?" Dutta asked, as his anger began to build up.

 

"Shaadi ke baath Baba ne mujhse kaal subha ki thi," Naku began.

 

She told him how Ganpat had brought up the issue about Maan and Naku right after breakfast. Naku was so blindsided by the conversation that she didn't have time to react. Before she knew it, her father was out the door on his way to another day's worth of work. She'd spent all day thinking about what her father had said. She knew she needed to talk to Dutta but he was unavailable. She'd called his cell which was off, she'd called his work but they said he was unavailable, she'd even called his home where his mother informed her he was at work. She was at a dead end and had no idea what to do. She had the entire day to think about it and she knew what she was going to do – what she had to do. She loved Dutta and she wasn't going to betray him. Her father was a reasonable man, he'd understand.

 

However, things didn't go as planned. Her father had come home freshened up, ate dinner and then sat in his favorite chair by the fire place. Naku went and sat at his feet, ready with her speech memorized. Only, she never got to speak, it was her father that did all the talking. Every word of that conversation was seared into her mind.

 

*~* Flashback *~*

 

"Naku Beta," Ganpat began as he gently laid a hand on her head. "Jaante ho, aaj mein kitna kush hoon? Barsoon baad mujhe itni kushi horahi hai ke main kya bataoon. Jaabse pichle saal hume pata chala ke mujhe cancer hai, mere maan mein humesha ek daar sa rehta tha ke kahin aaisa kuch honajayeh ke mujhe tumhe chodke jaana pade."

 

"Baba…" Naku began but couldn't continue.

 

"Lekin aaj, pehli baar mujhe daar nahin lag raha hai," Ganpat said with a smile. "Aaj mujhe lagta hai ke kaal kuch bhi hojayeh, tere liyeh mujhe chinta nahin karna padega. Maan bohot aacha ladka hai, aur mujhe yakeen hai ke woh tujhe bohot kush rakhega."

 

"Magar Baba main…" Naku began once again only to be cut off – again.

 

"Jaab se teri Maa guzar gayi thi, taab se maan mein ek behchaini rehti thi ke tu ek Maa ke bina badi hui hai, kya tu aur ladkiyoon ki tarha hai ya nahin? Kya tujhe ek aacha paati aur ek aacha sasural milega ya nahin? Kyun iss saab ke mamle mein ek Maa hi kaam aati hai. Bappa se mera ek hi prathna tha ke tujeh ek aacha jeevan saathi miljayeh take main uppar jake Babi se yeh keh sakoon ke main tujhe ek kushal zindagi mein chodkar aaya hoon." Ganpat explained. "Aur dehk, Bappa ne meri sunli. Tujhe Maan ke saath jod kar, Bappa ne meri har kwahish puri kar di."

 

Naku sat, speechless – what was she going to say?

 

"Jaanti hai," Ganpat said as Naku looked up to him.

 

"K…kya Baba?" Naku asked, just going with the flow.

 

"Jaab se Babi ne mujhe kahaa ke woh Maa banne wali hai, mere maan mein ek icha tha ke hume ek ladka ho, kyun ke main chata tha ke jaise mein aur KK aache dost hai, vaise hum dono ke baache bhi aache dost banenge. Lekin kuch mahine baad, tu paida hua," he said with a soft smile.

 

"Sorry to disappoint Baba," Naku said.

 

"Nahin, nahin…kisne kaha ke main disappointed tha?" he questioned. "Main itna kush tha ke main bata nahin sakta. Jaab maine tujhe pehli baar dekha toh mujhe ehsaas hogaya tha ke mere liyeh meri beti hi sahi hai. Uss din se main ek baath kehte aaya hoon…" Ganpat's voice trailed as he placed on hand on Naku's face, cupping her cheek. "Sari duniya ki kushiyaan ek taraf aur beti ka baap hone ki kushi ek taraf."

 

With that Ganpat leaned down and kissed Naku's forehead.

 

"Lekin aapka sapna adhura rehgaya, main aur Maan dost nahin bansake," Naku said.

 

"Kya? Nahin, aaise maat soocho. Tere vaje se aaj humari saloon ki dosti, ristedari mein badal raha hai. Tu ek aaisa sapna pura kane jaa rahi hai jiske bare mein maine khabi soocha hi nahin tha," he said looking down at her lovingly. "Jaanti hai, jaab se tu paida hui hai, mera ek sapna tha ke teri shaadi main Maan se karva doon. Lekin iss sapne ke bare mein maine kissi ko nahin bataya. Maine soocha ke shayad, tu ya Maan kissi aur se shaadi karna chahe. Issi liyeh jaab KK ne mujhse kaha ke Maan iss shaadi ke liyeh tayar hai, toh mujhe laga ke shayad…shayad mera woh chupa sapna saach hojayeh. Aur dehk, woh sapna saach hone jaa raha hai, tere vaje. Tujhe toh kissi aur se pyaar nahin hai naa?" Ganpat asked.

 

Naku could see the fear in his eyes, the fear of getting and answer that he didn't want to hear. She could see him holding his breath for her answer.

 

"Nahin Baba, aaisa kuch nahin hai," Naku lied.

 

The smile on Ganpat's face would be one that Naku would never forget. For the first time in years Naku saw her father smile – really smile – from the inside, he was glowing.

 

"Bappa kare ke haar janam mein, tu hi meri beti ho," Ganpat said as his voice cracked and water sprang to his eyes. "Baas, teri shaadi karvadoon, phir mujhe zindagi se koi shikayat nahin rahega, kyun ke teri shaadi se, mera har sapna pura hojayega. Mere jaisa kush naseeb kitne log hote hai, joh yeh keh sake ke marne se pehle uska har sapna aur har iccha pura hogaya hai?"

 

*~* Back to Present *~*

 

"Baba se main kuch nahin keh paya," Naku said as tears rolled down his face. "Kya kya sooch rakha tha Baba ne, main kaise kuch kehti?"

 

"Tum kuch kyun nahin keh sakti?" Dutta asked. "Kuch bhi kehsakti thi tum, kuch bhi. Yeh tumhari zindagi ka sawal hai."

 

"Haan, aur uss zindagi se main samjota karli hai," Naku said.

 

"Aur meri zindagi, uska kya? Pyaar tum mujhse karti ho, lekin shaadi kissi aur se karogi," Dutta said.

 

"Toh  main aur kya karoon?" Naku yelled in her frustration. "Baba ko main dhoka nahin deh sakti. Unka dil aur unke sapne main nahin tod sakti. Nahin tod sakti main."

 

"Aur main, mujhe tum dhoka deh sakte ho? Mera dil aur sapne todne mein tumhe koi problem nahin hai?" Dutta asked.

 

"Tum samajne ki koshish karo, please," Naku pleaded. "Baba mere liyeh saab kuch hai, saab kuch…unhe main nahin chod sakti."

 

"Lekin mujhe chod sakte ho." Dutta felt that they were just going in circles.

 

"Baba ke liyeh main bina mange, aapni jaan bhi dek sakti hoon, aur vahin…vahin main kaar rahi hoon," Naku said as she took Dutta's hand in her own. "Tum mere jaan ho, aur Baba ke liyeh, mujhe aapna jaan dena padega."

 

What the hell was Dutta supposed to say to that? Was there anything?

 

"But…I love you." That was all he could say.

 

"Phir mujhe jaane doh," Naku said. "Jaane doh mujhe."

 

"Kaise, kaise jaane deh doon main? Kaise?" Dutta asked as he leaned his forehead against Naku's, his hands on her waist. "Kaise tumhe kissi aur ka hota hua dekhoon? Kaise tumse door rahoon? Kaise tumhe bhool jaoon? Kaise Naku, kaise?"

 

"Dutta please!" Naku yelled as she stepped out of his embrace.

 

He never thought he'd hate the sound of his name so much. It was the first time in years that Naku had actually said his name. She'd always addressed him or spoken to him by saying 'sunno' or something along those lines. Dutta had imagined Naku calling him by his name, he wanted to hear how it sounded on her voice. However, now he wished he never had. There was no turning back, Dutta knew that, but he couldn't accept that.

 

"Magar Naku…" He began only to be cut off.

 

"Please…" Naku said in a whisper. Her eyes looking at him, as if pleading for her life.

 

"Main tumse itna pyaar karta hoon Naku ke main bata nahin sakta. Mere zindagi mein tumhari kushiyaan saab se zyada maine rakhte hai…saab se zyada. Kyun ke aagar tum kush ho, toh main bhi kush hoon," he said.

 

"Meri kushi, Baba ki kushi main hai," Naku said, unable to look him in the eyes.

 

"Jaanta hoon, issi liyeh…issi liyeh main tumhe nahin rokunga," Dutta announced.

 

Naku's eyes shot up as if in disbelief to what she was hearing.

 

"Tumhare liyeh main bhi bina mange aapna jaan deh sakta hoon. Aaj toh tumne sirf meri pyaar ki kurbani mangi hai, yeh toh kuch bhi nahin hai," Dutta said, his own voice cracking. "Aagar tumhe lagta hai ke tum kissi aur ke saath kush reh sakte ho, toh phri jaao…kush raho. Baas tumhe kush dekhna chata hoon, mujhe aur kuch nahin chahiyeh."

 

Naku's eyes instantly filled with tears – party in pain because this was the end of her relationship to Dutta as she knew it, and partly because of the relief that finally he'd let her go so she could fulfill her dying fathers dreams.

 

"Thank you," Naku whispered as the turned to walk away.

 

"Ruko," Dutta called as he grabbed her arm in an attempt to stop her. When she stopped he turned her around and said, "Ek aakhri baar tumne jee bharke dekh toh loon."

 

They stood there silently, with just the sound of the winds blowing around them. Dutta looked at Naku's red, watery eyes and he knew that she was just in as much pain as he was. He looked at her. Naku was dressed in a purple churidar suit with sliver trim. Her hair let loose in wavers over her shoulders. Small silver jhumkes hung from her ears, glass bangles adorned her delicate wrists. She looked beautiful like she always did, simple yet regal. That is what he'd always loved about her – her simplicity. While other girls were pasting on make up like their lives depended on it, his Naku made do with just kajal and some gloss, nothing more.

 

As he looked at her, he had one question on his mind – how was he going to live without her? How was he going to live without her smile, her smell, her laughter? How was he going to live without her tantrums of eating pani puri? How was he going to live without her love? How, how was he going to live without her? Just the thought of a life time without her by his side brought tears to his eyes.

 

"Ek baath janlo Naku. Main kaal tumse pyaar karta tha, aaj karta hoon aur humesha karta rahunga," Dutta said. "Tum shayad meri nahin rahi, lekin main…main humesha tumhra hi rahunga."

 

At that comment, Dutta saw Naku's eyes once again fill with tears, this time spilling onto her cheeks. After a moments pause she rushes to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Just like he'd done a million times before, Dutta wrapped his own arms around her waist and held her, his heart breaking because he knew this would be the last. She held on for a few seconds as her tears fell and wet his shoulders. It was like she was holding onto him for dear life, and in some way, she was.

 

The instant her grip loosened Naku said, "I love you too," before untangling her arms and running away.

 

Dutta watched as she fled while wiping the tears from her face. He watched her go up the stairs, her payals making that familiar cham-cham sound that they did. He hoped that she turn back – once, just once – but she didn't. He knew that if she did, she wouldn't be able to do what she had planned, she wouldn't be able to leave him. Dutta stood there as she disappeared from sight, but he could still hear her. He stood there listening to the sound of her payals – cham cham…cham cham……cham cham………cham cham………………cham cham……………………cham cham……………………………………

 

He waited until he could hear them no more. Then, as the dark clouds closed in around him, Dutta fell to his knees, tears over taking his will power. As he cried in his loss, as his soul cried in its vulnerability and as his heart cried in its emptiness, the heavens joined him. The clouds released their own tears, which drowned out Dutta's.

 

He'd always thought love was the be all and end all of live. He thought once you found love you were set. As long as your love was unconditional and pure, nothing could come between your love and the one you loved. But he'd been wrong. He loved Naku with his whole heart and soul, every fiber of his being but now she was gone. It was like he was waking up from the sweetest dream, but now as reality set in, all he had was the memories of that dream. Love hadn't been enough.

 

Pyaar hai to saab kuch hai, pyaar nahin hai toh kuch bhi nahin.

 

Pyaar se pyaare tum the saman

Jitna chaha tumko utna tha kaam

Pyaar iss dil mein jagaya

Aapno se dhoka khaya

Maar gaye tujhpe maarke hum

 

Dil yeh agar pathar ka hota sanam

Naa yeh toot ta naa hoti yeh aankh naam

Milta naa pyaar mein gham aa gaye kis mod pe hum

 

Teri khata hai naa toh meri khata

Naa tu bewafa hai naa main bewafa

Dil ko toh tootna tha yeh pyaar ka hai dastoor

Yeh pyaar bhi hai kitna majboor

Tu saamne hai phir bhi hai door

 

Pyaar se pyaare tum the saman

Jitna chaha tumko utna tha kaam

Pyaar iss dil mein jagaya

Aapno se dhoka khaya

Maar gaye tujhpe maarke hum

 

The End


JAZ

ps: cant wait for comments...Tongue

The following 30 member(s) liked the above post:

bandini09chown001flowergirl_OTahreem05pinkykLaTuLaVampgirlcutegurl224prettywoman-Roopa-princessmithaiYuvika_15-kavita-swati2008sinakmariescott14dusknazia.icycoolKalyWayne07eternity_of_luv-SilverFlames-NainaSengalmIsHeZ.xDew-drop-Fivr-Dancingdolljani-yehmeghapartiAnu-ReddyRockChicGirl

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "One Shot: Pyaar Se Pyaare" in Laagi Tujhse Lagan forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

*Guli*

IF-Stunnerz

*Guli*

Joined: 15 March 2005

Posts: 29454

Posted: 11 July 2010 at 11:13pm | IP Logged
OMG!!!!!!! 1st of all..... i wanted to be 1st on ur FF the one which u like 6-7 parts..... i was falling asleep and then u give me think link and its a short story!!! how in the world did u manage to do this without telling me??CryCryCryCryCryCryCry thats soooo not fair!!!AngryAngryAngryAngryAngry me super gussa with u!!!!!!!AngryAngryAngryAngryAngryAngry haila u tell me everything and u hid this from me!!!!AngryAngryAngryAngryAngry uff!!!!!! hain agar dushman dushman!!CryCryCryCryCryCry

so anyways.... back to the FF man i hated this ending!! u know im all for happily ever after and wat happens... boy likes girl girl likes boy girl has to marry other boy!! no thats not it...... its suppose to be boy and girl together not other boy!!!!!!!!CryCryCryCry poor dutta!! he needs a hug!!!!!! damn naku couldnt say no to her dad!!!! our bechara dutta!!!!!! it was nicely written......... it really was but i dont like sad endings!!! im all for happy ending!!!

so now since it wasnt.. u need an epilogue saying that dutta crashes wedding and takes naku!!

better yet... u dont need an epi i will write it

dutta comes tells everyone that they both love each other and then he takes her.. mann is looking on his dad is pissed naku's dad is pissed but embarrassed!!!! dutta grabs nakus hand and they are off!! and they live happily ever after and have kids! the end!!!

see i like it!!! thats wat happened!!!!!  thats my story and im sticking to it!!!!!!!!LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL


awesome babe ji!!!!!!!EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed

now please update ur other ff plz!!EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed


luv ya!!!Embarrassed


Edited by *Guli* - 13 July 2010 at 9:04pm

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

jnawazprettywoman

dusk

IF-Dazzler

dusk

Joined: 26 May 2010

Posts: 2889

Posted: 11 July 2010 at 11:56pm | IP Logged
OMG u r so creative!!! em literally crying yaar Cry u r genious awsum story awsum update hatsoff Clap

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

jnawaz

nazia.icycool

IF-Dazzler

nazia.icycool

Joined: 12 March 2010

Posts: 4381

Posted: 12 July 2010 at 12:08am | IP Logged
OMG jaz u started a new OS???and wat abt the prev FF??i loved it and want u to complete it...im not gonna leave u Evil Smile

i still have to read this 1...im sure its gonna be amazing as always...gimme some tym till i read and then will comment later.. Big smile

EDITED:...yup im done with it jaz...i have no words to praise u dear..i loved the literary language u used here..amazing dialogs,beautiful direction ,awesome execution !!!it shows how much hardwork u did sweety!! Clap Clap

and yes it was a very pleasant surprise!! Wink LOL

well coming to the storythe start was too good..with dutta asking for forgiveness,dutta saying 'jaan'..aaaww that was sooo cute!i loved the way he was manaoing nakku...i guess this is the gori nakku isnt it?? Wink

are yaar even i was feeling shattered when nakku said all abt the shadi plans..i literally burst out crying jaz..bohot bada dhakka laga mujhe.. Cry Cry and i was just thinking ki kya nakku phir se sherni nahin bansakti ???awww..im feeling low!! Confused ....lekin ......lekin........when i read nakku's would be hubby's name....i was like ROFL ROFL ROFL ...oh god!!shock se mere aansoon sukhe nahin ki i satrted lafffin really badly!!!...the father's name is KK (khurana)and this 1 is maan and that too a business tycoon!!..so i guess i can imagine how this "maan" looks like!!! Wink Wink LOL ....aawww so we have these 2 hunks falling for nakku!!! Embarrassed Wink

mm..are yaar acha hua babi ko marwadia LOL LOL LOL enuff of her rona dona!! Tongue &..i really loved the convo tween TASHA..especially the last dialog dutta spoke..."ek baar jee bhar ke tumhein dekh loon"mein kaafi emotional hogayi thi Confused

so u did a FANTABULOUS n EXCELLENT job jaz...and u ARE gonna cont. writing!!!i love the way u pen down ur thoughts.. LOL

Edited by nazia.icycool - 12 July 2010 at 1:15am

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

jnawazprincessmithaiKalyWayne07dusk

Dew-drop

IF-Veteran Member

Dew-drop

Joined: 01 March 2009

Posts: 43117

Posted: 12 July 2010 at 2:45am | IP Logged
res

* Edit Add *

sorrrriieeeeeeeeeeeeeee 4 the late comment  .....* kaan pakding *Embarrassed

Nw coming to the OS ......
ab tum hi batao ....wat do i do ...
Should I laugh or should i cry ....
U separated my TaSha ......hw mean of u Jazziee ..
Angry.
 I cant stop crying ...CryCry
My poor Gadha .....he was heart broken ...Broken Heart
Broken Heart

But WTH ....Naku is getting married to Maan ....
ShockedShocked
Nw thats sumthing ... kyun bechari ko confuse kar rahi ho ...
Ek Aag hai to doosra jwala mukhi ..ROFLROFL

Fab fab Os ..ClapClap...do write often ..!
Wink





Edited by Dew-drop - 20 July 2010 at 4:43am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

princessmithai

-Roopa-

Goldie

-Roopa-

Joined: 04 November 2009

Posts: 2076

Posted: 12 July 2010 at 6:00am | IP Logged

So well written dear..Smile
I enjoyed reading it ..I was so touched by the whole sequence you have narrated.. it was as if we are watching it on the screen..
Please do continue..

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

jnawaz

dusk

IF-Dazzler

dusk

Joined: 26 May 2010

Posts: 2889

Posted: 12 July 2010 at 6:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nazia.icycool

OMG jaz u started a new OS???and wat abt the prev FF??i loved it and want u to complete it...im not gonna leave u Evil Smile

i still have to read this 1...im sure its gonna be amazing as always...gimme some tym till i read and then will comment later.. Big smile

EDITED:...yup im done with it jaz...i have no words to praise u dear..i loved the literary language u used here..amazing dialogs,beautiful direction ,awesome execution !!!it shows how much hardwork u did sweety!! Clap Clap

and yes it was a very pleasant surprise!! Wink LOL

well coming to the storythe start was too good..with dutta asking for forgiveness,dutta saying 'jaan'..aaaww that was sooo cute!i loved the way he was manaoing nakku...i guess this is the gori nakku isnt it?? Wink

are yaar even i was feeling shattered when nakku said all abt the shadi plans..i literally burst out crying jaz..bohot bada dhakka laga mujhe.. Cry Cry and i was just thinking ki kya nakku phir se sherni nahin bansakti ???awww..im feeling low!! Confused ....lekin ......lekin........when i read nakku's would be hubby's name....i was like ROFL ROFL ROFL ...oh god!!shock se mere aansoon sukhe nahin ki i satrted lafffin really badly!!!...the father's name is KK (khurana)and this 1 is maan and that too a business tycoon!!..so i guess i can imagine how this "maan" looks like!!! Wink Wink LOL ....aawww so we have these 2 hunks falling for nakku!!! Embarrassed Wink

mm..are yaar acha hua babi ko marwadia LOL LOL LOL enuff of her rona dona!! Tongue &..i really loved the convo tween TASHA..especially the last dialog dutta spoke..."ek baar jee bhar ke tumhein dekh loon"mein kaafi emotional hogayi thi Confused

so u did a FANTABULOUS n EXCELLENT job jaz...and u ARE gonna cont. writing!!!i love the way u pen down ur thoughts.. LOL
when i read nakku's would be hubby's name....i was like ROFL ROFL ROFL ...oh god!!shock se mere aansoon sukhe nahin ki i satrted lafffin really badly!!!...the father's name is KK (khurana)and this 1 is maan and that too a business tycoon!!..so i guess i can imagine how this "maan" looks like!!! Wink Wink LOL ....aawww so we have these 2 hunks falling for nakku!!! Embarrassed Wink it made me laugh too TASHA nd MANEET sath sath i guess in cmin epi we wd find geet too LOL

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

jnawazprincessmithainazia.icycool

jani-yeh

IF-Sizzlerz

jani-yeh

Joined: 25 April 2006

Posts: 22339

Posted: 12 July 2010 at 6:12am | IP Logged
awesum 1shot Jaz...Embarrassed...
really touching...u damn near had me in tears...Cry...hehe...
ur writing skills as i'v mentioned b4 are off the charts gr8...ClapClapClap...
i always look 4ward 2 reading stuff by u...b it in CR...LOL...or one of ur FF'S...Embarrassed...(which by the way i beg of u 2 upd8)...
 
tnx 4 the pm...mwah...Tongue...


Edited by jani-yeh - 21 July 2010 at 8:32am

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
ff pyaar hain ya saaza new chpter 63 pg 103

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 106 107

sana786a 851 69067 27 May 2011 at 11:20am
By krishaa
nakku se pyaar ya nakku par bharosa??

2 3 4 5

nazia.icycool 39 2528 26 July 2010 at 2:57pm
By gp00
Dear FF writers, give me a double shot gp00 4 388 11 June 2010 at 3:55am
By geetruk06
Nakku's reaction after kala got shot chitrakshgeet 0 343 11 June 2010 at 2:17am
By chitrakshgeet
Repeat of scene when Dutta is shot?

2 3

gp00 19 977 11 June 2010 at 1:56am
By sub_rosa

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.