Joined: 15 January 2005
Riddhima was sitting all alone in the living hall. Lights off , curled in a couch , hugging her knees and eyes hard and angry. It seemed she would burst into tears any given moment but she did not ' her lips quivered but her jaw held firm. There was darkness all around and Riddhima was in no mood to switch on the lights. She wanted to dissolve in this darkness and she did not want anyone to see her. She wanted to escape those eyes'. Sid's eyes' Shilpa's eyes'. Armaan's eyes'Riddhima was still pinching her skin to make sure that all this had happened for real'
Did I really do that? Did I actually behave like that?.... And Sid'.
Flashback ' An angry Riddhima spotting Sid hugging Shilpa in a room , Riddhima jerking Shilpa away from Sid , Riddhima raising her hand on Shilpa and Sid grabbing her arm and blocking her way, Shilpa looking at her in shock and disbelief as Riddhima poured out venom. Armaan coming running and taking Shilpa away from Riddhima. Riddhima screaming at Sid and storming out of the party. And all guests at Shilpa's birthday party watching the whole spectacle.
Riddhima just couldn't get the vision of Shilpa in Sid's arms ' secure and being taken care of ' out of her head. She had no idea why she did , what she did. She had just unleashed herself on Sid and Shilpa and even told off Armaan and all three had looked at her ' Sid in angry pain, Shilpa in vulnerability and Armaan in disappointment.
Riddhima felt her head would burst any moment now. She rubbed her head , not wanting to think what had just happened and then, she senses him. She lifted her eyes to the door and a tall masculine figure walked in , switching lamps one by one. It was Sid. Sid was home. She stood up , expecting or rather wanting to have a confrontation.
Sid came into light but he did not even look at Riddhima. He flung his beige jacket on the couch and headed upstairs. Riddhima went after him.
Riddhima ( clenching her fists )- Siddhanth!
Siddhanth stopped in his tracks but did not turn around. His face was grim and he looked both angry and hurt.
Riddhima ( continuing )- We have to talk! And we have to talk now!
Siddhanth turned towards her and slowly began to descend the steps. Riddhima was glaring at him but the sharpness began to soften as she recognized that vintage angry Sid ' cold, aloof , harsh. She had seen him before and he raised his head everytime Riddhima let him down.
Siddhanth ( in a low voice )- Talk? Oh yes, why not? '.Let's talk it out. That is something you love doing when you want to shut the other person up' TALK. '..( crossing his arms across his chest and settling himself on the couch )'. Go ahead. I am listening.
Riddhima (unleashing temper again)- LISTENING? You are supposed to answer my questions, Siddhanth! And don't you dare give me that attitude!.... ( angrier )' what were you doing in that room with Shilpa?
Siddhanth( calm and grave)- What kind of a question is that, Riddhima?... I mean , '( looks at his wrist watch)' about half an hour ago , you yourself told me , Shilpa , Armaan and the whole party that I was making out with Shilpa. I mean the whole world knows by now. I don't see any point in this discussion. When you have your own answers , why are you wasting my time?
Riddhima couldn't believe Sid's nerve. How dare he talk to her like that and tell her that her accusations were right? And this grave , dark and cold expression on his face! She hated this Sid. She wanted him to be as much as hurt as she was.
Siddhanth ( getting up)- There is no point in talking to you Riddhima. Go and sit under some cold shower and we will talk when you are in your senses.
Sid turns to go and Riddhima grabs his arm and turns him around with a jerk.
Riddhima ( angrily)- I am not done with you, Siddhanth! You tell me right now what is happening between you and Shilpa! Why were you hugging her? '.what made you even touch her! How could you! She is nobody to you and she will never be anything to you! Do you get me?
Sid looks at her for a few seconds. And then, his expression changes to an intense and a shade darker. He takes a step closer to her and Riddhima looks struck. She knows that look and that look means total blockage for her from his gaze. Sid looks at her face and then, he raises his hand to her face and puts her hair back in place behind her ears.
Sid ( putting her to another test)- Riddhima'..my wife, right?
Riddhima ( trying to stay angry)- Yes. But'
Sid puts a finger on her lips and closes in on her. Riddhima , unable to look away from his eyes is unable to take his proximity and she starts backing away'.
Sid ( grazing the finger down her chin)- For how long have we lived under this roof as man and wife?
Riddhima ( her voice wavering)- F-for quite sometime'..
Sid gets this meaningful smile on his face and he slides an arm around her waist , pulling her slender frame against his own. Riddhima seems fuzzy for a few seconds as she looks into Sid's face with surprise and a pounding heart.
Sid ( running a finger over her collarbone and touching her forehead with his)- In all this time, have I ever '( interlocks her fingers with his and clasps them tightly)' crossed my limits AGAINST your will?
Riddhima ( closing her eyes and her defences visiting Hawaii)- No''
Sid looks at her face intently and very slowly takes her in his arms and hugs her , resting his chin on her bare shoulder and breathing into her ears'
Sid( whispers into her ears) ' Do you think you can stop me if I get closer'. '( slowly coming to her face and rubbing his nose against hers and Riddz closing her eyes with tears rising )' and closer'.
Riddhima ( eyes closed)-No'.( opens her eyes and looks at Sid in disbelief)' I mean, no' you .. you would never do anything like that'. I trust you. Y-you'd never do anything against my will.
Siddhanth breaks away a little and distances himself from her. He looks at her with a sad smile.
Siddhanth ' There lies your answer, Riddhima. If you can trust me enough that I won't touch you against your will, how come this trust dissolved when it came to me being with another woman? '.You did not ask me what I was doing with Shilpa. You told me what I was doing with Shilpa'..( Sid shakes his head and turns away from Riddhima)'.I think the whole fault lies with me. No matter how hard I try , no matter what I do , I cannot convince you that you are the only one I love. It is a forever test, Riddhima. And am not taking any more exams'. ( gives Riddhima a pensive look)'.you want answers , FIND THEM. And trust me, your questions have nothing to do with Shilpa or what she and I were doing in that room'. ( points a finger at her )'..There is just one issue and that's YOU.
With this, Sid goes away to his room , not even once looking
back and Riddhima just stands there , with tears in her eyes as Sid's words
echoing in her ears.
Love and luck always,
GOD bless everyone.
CONTINUED -9TH JULY 2010.
Sid is pacing about in his room , trying a number endlessly on his cellphone. He looks both sad and worried.Just then, the call is picked up at the other end.
Sid ( relieved )- Armaan! Where were you? I have been trying your phone for so long'..(pause)' oh, I see. Is she okay now? '..( shakes his head in irritation)' don't ask me that, Armaan! I have no idea what was going on inside Riddhima's head at that time. I mean'.
Sid's outpour is disturbed by the slow creaking sound of his room's door opening. Sid turns towards the door and he sees Riddhima standing there with an angst ridden face.
Sid ( looking at her )- I'll call you back.
Sid ends the call and tosses his phone on the bed. His hands jammed in his pocket and his pensive eyes directed towards Riddhima , he just looks at her. Riddhima takes a few steps inside , locking and unlocking her fingers as though not knowing how to approach Sid.
Sid (picking up a quilt from the bed)- Sorry. I completely forgot that you sleep here.
Sid is brushing past her but she holds his hand to stop him. Sid stops. He looks at his wrist clasped in Riddhima's slender fingers and he slowly lifts his eyes to her face , his eyes direct and intense, expressions of his face not softening at all.
Sid ( calmly but firmly)- Riddhima, I think you forgot what I told you downstairs. I am in no mood to answer anything and it is better if you sort this out on your own and within yourself. '.(Riddhima is still holding his hand and looking up at his face with unsettled eyes)'.and that includes leaving my arm.
Riddhima does exactly the opposite. She holds both his arms and looks at him with a babyface. But Sid just doesn't soften.
Riddhima (emotionally)- Sid, tell me one thing'..I'.( her throat choking)' I mean'I'. okay, maybe I overreacted' ( Sid raises an eyebrow)' I overreacted. But I ' I HATED the sight of Shilpa in your arms' I mean how could she'.
Sid ( calming her )- Riddhima, Riddhima, Riddhima'..(hugs her to calm her down and presses his face into her hair and she stops getting hyper)'.quiet'quiet'. Nothing happened'( lets go of her and looks at her holding her shoulders)'.NOTHING HAPPENED'..(sighs)'..Look. If you are thinking that am going to tell you what was going on at that time between me and Shilpa, then, NO.I am not telling you.
Riddhima (offensively)- Why not? I am your wife!
Sid ( taking her by her arm and taking her to bed )- Because I don't want to rectify your mistakes , I want you to rectify them on your own'..and more than that, I want you to stop taking everything and everyone for granted.
Sid puts Riddhima into bed, covers her with a quilt , tucking it under her chin and patting her head tells her to go sleep.
Sid ' You have a 7am shift tomorrow, Riddhima. Go to sleep'..and'. please, I beg of you. No more venom for Shilpa. Leave her alone.
Riddhima ( hurt )- You are still more concerned about her, aren't you?
Sid ( moving away from her)- Riddhima, I have told you what I had to. And I cannot keep justifying myself over and over'..you very well know that there is just one weakness in my life' YOU'.Please don't take advantage of it.
With this Sid goes out turning off the lights. Riddhima
lies awake , staring at the ceiling.
UPDATED PAGE 29,30&32.
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