Story contest - disqualified story(late entry) (Page 2)

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bhinder.thind

IF-Dazzler

Joined: 03 April 2010

Posts: 3576

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:48am | IP Logged

Originally posted by visrom

OK this person had an unfair advantage of having read the other stories before completing this one. But then, there is also a disadvantage of making it 'different' from others.

This is all fair now i think.. because talent is talent ..does not matter you participate or no...hats off to spirit shown by writer...

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visrom,

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Bhavanab

Coolbie

Joined: 31 March 2009

Posts: 21914

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:50am | IP Logged

Very nice story,wished u had written earlier toh competition aur bhi tough ho jaatha

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sunnyp1414

IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 November 2009

Posts: 3082

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:50am | IP Logged

Yep. But the spirit shown by this writer even after completing deadline this writer completed. I can say its one of best but no voting for this one.

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visrom,

DemonStar

Coolbie

Joined: 16 March 2006

Posts: 3074

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:58am | IP Logged

It's a good story, I liked it. Well planned and executed. I just wish Abhi sir had tried to hide Daya sir's "secret" from ACP and have ACP find it out himself, because it would've shown the stronger bond of trust between Abhi-Daya, but it was still well done. Thumbs Up

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Shagnika, bhinder.thind, suhaani.cidmjht,

visrom

Viewbie

Joined: 26 November 2009

Posts: 23481

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 2:02am | IP Logged

Originally posted by DemonStar

It's a good story, I liked it. Well planned and executed. I just wish Abhi sir had tried to hide Daya sir's "secret" from ACP and have ACP find it out himself, because it would've shown the stronger bond of trust between Abhi-Daya, but it was still well done. Thumbs Up

See, having known Abhijeet for so many years, I personally feel that when there is an evidence against someone, Abhijeet will not let friendship rule over duty.

THere is some dialogue somewhere....what was it? 'officially saboot hai, isliye tumhe bureau jaana hoga' or something. (I cannot copy it, you know

)

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DemonStar,

DemonStar

Coolbie

Joined: 16 March 2006

Posts: 3074

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 2:06am | IP Logged

Yes that's true, but I thought Abhi sir would be a little more hesitant at least, seeing how Daya defied ACP's orders to assist him in "Traitors In CID"? So emphasizing his hesitation like "I'm sorry Daya, pata hai tumhare iraada accha tha, par mere paas aur koi chara nahin hai" would have felt a little more powerful IMO. But the story was very good nevertheless.

Edited by DemonStar - 02 July 2010 at 2:11am

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suhaani.cidmjht

IF-Rockerz

Joined: 12 April 2009

Posts: 7084

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 5:09am | IP Logged

Firstly I must say that the writer has made lots of efforts writing this story. There is a natural flow in it. The language is crystal clear. The story again reminds me of Raghavan's stories and will look really great on the screen! Abhijeet and Daya bond and the essence of it was shown without any hitch. In fact I feel that Abhi was carrying out his duty, he cudnt help it.He was hesitant and did give Daya a chance to explain. He was right wen he said Daya shud have told him... Abhi and Daya go a long way so even a smile is enough, no need of apology. Abhijeet smiled wen he gave d letter. H e was doing hs job so y apology? Daya had done a wrong by not telling anyone thus creating circumstantial evidence against himself. In fact in Abhijeet In Danger, Abhijeet made d same mistake. So Daya just did his job. But he also sympathized wt Abhijeet. He didnt apologize to him, but just smiled at him wen Abhi got free of charges...
Writer, u shud join CID Creative team!! Clap

Keep it up! Big smile

I wud rate u 8 1/2 on 10!

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suhaani.cidmjht

IF-Rockerz

Joined: 12 April 2009

Posts: 7084

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 8:31am | IP Logged

Brought it to first page. Want the writer to have a share of readers as well!!

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visrom,

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Story contest - disqualified story(late entry) (Page 2)

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Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:48am | IP Logged

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:50am | IP Logged

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Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:58am | IP Logged

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 2:02am | IP Logged

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 2:06am | IP Logged

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