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Story contest - disqualified story(late entry) (Page 2)

bhinder.thind IF-Dazzler
bhinder.thind
bhinder.thind

Joined: 03 April 2010
Posts: 4013

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by visrom

OK this person had an unfair advantage of having read the other stories before completing this one. But then, there is also a disadvantage of making it 'different' from others.


This is all fair now i think.. because talent is talent ..does not matter you participate or no...hats off to spirit shown by writer...

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visrom

Bhavanab Coolbie
Bhavanab
Bhavanab

Joined: 31 March 2009
Posts: 23754

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:50am | IP Logged
Very nice story,wished u had written earlier toh competition aur bhi tough ho jaatha

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visrom

sunnyp1414 IF-Dazzler
sunnyp1414
sunnyp1414

Joined: 22 November 2009
Posts: 3085

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by visrom

OK this person had an unfair advantage of having read the other stories before completing this one. But then, there is also a disadvantage of making it 'different' from others.


Yep. But the spirit shown by this writer even after completing deadline this writer completed. I can say its one of best but no voting for this one.

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visrom

DemonStar Coolbie
DemonStar
DemonStar

Joined: 16 March 2006
Posts: 13068

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 1:58am | IP Logged
It's a good story, I liked it. Well planned and executed. I just wish Abhi sir had tried to hide Daya sir's "secret" from ACP and have ACP find it out himself, because it would've shown the stronger bond of trust between Abhi-Daya, but it was still well done. Thumbs Up

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bhinder.thindsuhani.cipamisaShagnika

visrom IF-Veteran Member
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 28719

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 2:02am | IP Logged
Originally posted by DemonStar

It's a good story, I liked it. Well planned and executed. I just wish Abhi sir had tried to hide Daya sir's "secret" from ACP and have ACP find it out himself, because it would've shown the stronger bond of trust between Abhi-Daya, but it was still well done. Thumbs Up
See, having known Abhijeet for so many years, I personally feel that when there is an evidence against someone, Abhijeet will not let friendship rule over duty.
 
THere is some dialogue somewhere....what was it? 'officially saboot hai, isliye tumhe bureau jaana hoga' or something. (I cannot copy it, you knowLOL )

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DemonStar

DemonStar Coolbie
DemonStar
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Posts: 13068

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 2:06am | IP Logged
Yes that's true, but I thought Abhi sir would be a little more hesitant at least, seeing how Daya defied ACP's orders to assist him in "Traitors In CID"? So emphasizing his hesitation like "I'm sorry Daya, pata hai tumhare iraada accha tha, par mere paas aur koi chara nahin hai" would have felt a little more powerful IMO. But the story was very good nevertheless.


Edited by DemonStar - 02 July 2010 at 2:11am

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bhinder.thindsuhani.cipamisaShagnika

suhani.cipamisa IF-Rockerz
suhani.cipamisa
suhani.cipamisa

Joined: 12 April 2009
Posts: 8694

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 5:09am | IP Logged
Firstly I must say that the writer has made lots of efforts writing this story. There is a natural flow in it. The language is crystal clear. The story again reminds me of Raghavan's stories and will look really great on the screen! Abhijeet and Daya bond and the essence of it was shown without any hitch. In fact I feel that Abhi was carrying out his duty, he cudnt help it.He was hesitant and did give Daya a chance to explain. He was right wen he said Daya shud have told him... Abhi and Daya go a long way so even a smile is enough, no need of apology. Abhijeet smiled wen he gave d letter. H e was doing hs job so y apology? Daya had done a wrong by not telling anyone thus creating circumstantial evidence against himself. In fact in Abhijeet In Danger, Abhijeet made d same mistake. So Daya just did his job. But he also sympathized wt Abhijeet. He didnt apologize to him, but just smiled at him wen Abhi got free of charges...
Writer, u shud join CID Creative team!! Clap

Keep it up! Big smile

I wud rate u 8 1/2 on 10!

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DemonStarShagnikavisrom

suhani.cipamisa IF-Rockerz
suhani.cipamisa
suhani.cipamisa

Joined: 12 April 2009
Posts: 8694

Posted: 02 July 2010 at 8:31am | IP Logged
Brought it to first page. Want the writer to have a share of readers as well!!

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visrom

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