Story contest - disqualified story(late entry) - Page 2

It's a good story, I liked it. Well planned and executed. I just wish Abhi sir had tried to hide Daya sir's "secret" from ACP and have ACP find it out himself, because it would've shown the stronger bond of trust between Abhi-Daya, but it was still well done. 👍🏼

Originally posted by: DemonStar

It's a good story, I liked it. Well planned and executed. I just wish Abhi sir had tried to hide Daya sir's "secret" from ACP and have ACP find it out himself, because it would've shown the stronger bond of trust between Abhi-Daya, but it was still well done. 👍🏼

See, having known Abhijeet for so many years, I personally feel that when there is an evidence against someone, Abhijeet will not let friendship rule over duty.

Yes that's true, but I thought Abhi sir would be a little more hesitant at least, seeing how Daya defied ACP's orders to assist him in "Traitors In CID"? So emphasizing his hesitation like "I'm sorry Daya, pata hai tumhare iraada accha tha, par mere paas aur koi chara nahin hai" would have felt a little more powerful IMO. But the story was very good nevertheless.
Edited by DemonStar - 13 years ago

Firstly I must say that the writer has made lots of efforts writing this story. There is a natural flow in it. The language is crystal clear. The story again reminds me of Raghavan's stories and will look really great on the screen! Abhijeet and Daya bond and the essence of it was shown without any hitch. In fact I feel that Abhi was carrying out his duty, he cudnt help it.He was hesitant and did give Daya a chance to explain. He was right wen he said Daya shud have told him... Abhi and Daya go a long way so even a smile is enough, no need of apology. Abhijeet smiled wen he gave d letter. H e was doing hs job so y apology? Daya had done a wrong by not telling anyone thus creating circumstantial evidence against himself. In fact in Abhijeet In Danger, Abhijeet made d same mistake. So Daya just did his job. But he also sympathized wt Abhijeet. He didnt apologize to him, but just smiled at him wen Abhi got free of charges...
Writer, u shud join CID Creative team!! 👏

Keep it up! 😃

I wud rate u 8 1/2 on 10!

Brought it to first page. Want the writer to have a share of readers as well!!

good stories but they are late   

Originally posted by: tgodse

good stories but they are late   

Review for this story-Very good work by the writer,looks like hardwork put in,story went completely in flow all scenes connected to each other very nicely,Abhijeet and Daya's character portrayal was beautiful,I would love to see such a case onscreen,very interesting and ACP sir kka bhi character bahut achca pakda.
Hats off to ur spirit even after u knew u wouldn't be rated you gave us such a lovely story to read,waise tumhara story agar competition mein hotha toh competiton aur bhi mushkil ho jaati anyways keep it up would love to read more from you 👏 👍🏼

Interesting, very interesting attempt. I love the first scene with the khabri and how Daya Sir ensures that Abhi Sir is safe from the blast, could actually see these scenes in front of my eyes. But how did the Minister know about plan two when the terrorist leader did not even mention about the backup plan to his own people. That was the only thing that bothered me. But it was very interesting nonetheless. Loved how Trio were portrayed especially Abhi Sir, his constant internal questioning and reasoning was too good. Thats how I also feel he thinks.

Edited by prabha. - 13 years ago