Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems


Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

Tere Ho Gaye Hain Hum - Epi. 3: Page 1

Nikasha. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 July 2007
Posts: 3383

Posted: 04 June 2010 at 5:06pm | IP Logged

My name is Nikasha. I like to think of my FF's as televison soap operas, with real actors/actresses, production houses, etc.

If you read my previous "show" Kyun, you will know what I am talking  about. If you are interested in reading it, I believe you can find it using the "Forum Search" feature. I must warn you, that it has many twists and turns, and nothing is ever as it seems.

But, that was a year ago. I have matured as a writer and will add a lot less twists. This will simply be a love story between two adolescents. This "show" is called  Tere Ho Gaye Hain Hum, and is a (hopefully) refreshing tale of Shyaam and Niyati, two school-going teenagers who are madly in love and will not let anything or anyone get in their way.

I am not the best writer. I'm only 15-years-old. Don't post any mean or rude comments.

I would love it if you read this "show" and provide me with lots of feedback. That way, I can improve as a writer and make even better FF's and "shows."

Background Information and Storyline:

This is the story of a girl named Niyati, aged 15, and a boy named Shyaam, aged 17. Niyati is a girl in 9th grade (9th class in India) who enters a school play. She is selected for on of the parallel leads, but is having trouble with her old-age Hindi lines. The school's theatre director calls upon Shyam, a boy from class 11 to tutor her. He helps tutor her, and soon they become great friends. Niyati plays her part well, with the help and support of Shyaam and her parents.

As school starts to come to an end, the 11th and 12th class's prom is nearing. Shyaam is invited to go to the prom by many girls, but he declines their offers. Though he isn't quite sure why, he asks Niyati to go to the prom with him. Elated, she accepts his invitation. The two go to the prom, and there Shyaam asks Niyati to be his girl-friend. Once again in a state of shock and pure joy, she accepts.

The two stay girl-friend and boy-friend for a year, until the end of Shyaam's last year at school. He has to go to college and pursue his career now. He loves Niyati, even though by now she is only in 10th class. Both do not want to give each other up. They decide to take a bold move; to run away from their respective houses and get married.

Shyaam is invited to go to Shimla University. He is hesitant though, because he wants to spend his time with Niyati. Niyati tells him to pursue his ambitions in life, as she is by marrying him. Eventually, Shyaam agrees. He, with the help of his parents, buys a small apartment for himself and a "roommate." Over the summer, Niyati packs her bags and makes up an excuse that she is going to Goa with her friends. Shyaam picks her up, and they go off to Shimla.

At Shimla, Shyaam attends college morning till evening, while Niyati takes care of the house and lives life as she pleases. Things are not easy for the two of them though, seeing that they are married at such a young age. The couple is constantly taunted and frowned-upon upon during their time in Shimla. Niyati wears her mangalsutra and sindoor, which many find disgusting seeing her young age. Many think she is wearing it as a fashion statement, and are un-aware that she is married. She faces problems because of this. Shyaam's friends frown upon him as well, because he does not go to discos with them to hook up with girls, and doesn't drink.

This story is about the struggles that one young married couple faces in life. The devotion and respect they have for each other. The up's, the down's, and everything in between.

Table of Contents/List of Episodes:
Episode 1 - Page 1
Episode 2 - Page 1
Episode 3 - Page 1

I hope you enjoy reading this "show"/FF as much as I love writing it. Feedback will really mean a lot to me.


Edited by -Nikasha- - 11 June 2010 at 2:29pm

Nikasha. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 July 2007
Posts: 3383

Posted: 04 June 2010 at 5:43pm | IP Logged
If you're confused, hopefully after reading this introduction, everything will make a bit more sense. Imagine this as the first introduction episode of a show, whereas you meet all of the characters and see their surroundings. This first "episode" shows the same things.

Wow...I love my laptop. I love how whenever I am about to finish an episode, my mouse randomly clicks somewhere and my whole post is gone. Gee, thanks. This may not be as detailed as I planned it to be, thanks to my laptop.

This is quite short and sweet.

Tere Ho Gaye Hain Hum Episode 1 - Introduction:

Meet Niyati, a 15 year old girl born and brought up in New Delhi. She is good looking, but wears glasses and braces. Niyati is shy and quiet, though at times she can be very loud and outgoing. She is very book-smart, but isn't too smart otherwise.  Niyati has few friends, but she is very close to them. Niyati is very complex and unpredictable. One minute she is a listener, the other she lectures you and yells at you. Niyati is a teacher's pet, and a dream student for every teacher. She is quiet, polite, and pays attention during classes. Niyati loves her parents dearly, though at times she may not realize it. Niyati's father is a doctor, and is usually not at home due to his job. Niyati is used to this, and has grown quite close to her mother. Niyati has an older brother, who is in college. Niyati is forced by her parents to join the theatre class, which she is not too happy about at first. Niyati is only human; she possesses an equal amount of good and bad traits, and that makes her who she is. Niyati believes that love happens whenever and wherever, however and with whoever.

Meet Shyaam, a 17 year old boy brought up in all parts of the country. Shyaam is a typical lady's man, and knows his way around all types of girls. Shyaam is a prankster, and loves to play jokes on his many friends. At times, Shyaam can be very polite and sensitive, especially with girls. Shyaam's father is in the military, and because of this Shyaam's family has moved to various places during the course of his life. Shyaam has also grown very close to his mother, and is any only child. Shyaam loves his parents dearly, and does not want to see them hurt. He is not the brightest student as school. He loves his theatre class though, as he is passing it with flying colors. The threatre directors love him dearly, and often ask him to help out those who are not very good at acting. This is how he meets Niyati. Shyaam doesn't believe in marriage, but Niyati will change this.

Shyaam and Niyati live in a nice gated community in the middle of New Delhi. Both are from upper middle-class families, and live in a very pleasant environment. Both live in similar, two-story houses. Their gated community has everything one would ever want and need; parks, places of worship, shops, groceries, clothing stores, swimming pools, and recreational centers.

Shyaam and Niyati both attend New Delhi High School, which has nearly 4,000 students. All of the classes are mixed, with boys and girls of all ages. Shyaam and Niyati first meet because of this. New Delhi High School has excellent teachers and staff members.

Let us now fast forward a few weeks into the school year, where Shyaam and Niyati first meet...

I hope you liked it! Please reply with lots of feedback.Smile


Edited by -Nikasha- - 04 June 2010 at 5:52pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


lovely_lady IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 July 2007
Posts: 6167

Posted: 05 June 2010 at 12:31am | IP Logged
LOL cool nice intro..
ur laptop zapped on you?
anyways, thanks for the pm nikasha ;)

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


Nikasha. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 July 2007
Posts: 3383

Posted: 05 June 2010 at 7:32am | IP Logged
Yeah... I have a trackpad so at times it randomly clicks somewhere.
Nikasha. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 July 2007
Posts: 3383

Posted: 05 June 2010 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
Tere Ho Gaye Hain Hum Episode 2:

"Ma, I really don't want to go to that silly theatre class!" Niyati said, rather loudly, while eating breakfast. She was sitting at the head of the table.

"Come on beta, you'll have so much fun." Niyati's mother, Nisha said. She was not angry, and smiled up at Niyati from the newspaper she was reading. Nisha was sitting on the opposite side of the dining table, directly facing Niyati.

It was the second week of school in New Delhi. The holidays were being missed dearly by all school-going children. New Delhi High School gave students a chance to attend each of the electives for a day and see which one they liked best. After hearing there was a theatre class, Nisha, who was in theatre in college, begged Niyati to join theatre.

Niyati sighed and took a bit of her toast. The dining table was piled up with scrambled eggs, toast, fruits, milk, juice, and chai.

After finishing breakfast, Niyati put her dishes in the sink. She brushed her teeth, and put on her shoes. Niyati combed through her hair one last time, and tied it a pony tail. One finished getting ready, she sat down in the seat next to her mother, and took a deep breath.

"Look, I'll try out the class for a couple of weeks. I didn't enjoy it just during the one day we had it, but you never know." Niyati said, trying to be a bit optimistic.

"Good. Now hurry up. Sana must be waiting." Nisha said, hugging Niyati.

Niyati grabbed her backpack, waved to her mother, and exited her house. Sana was standing outside at the foot of the doorsteps, like she always did. Though Niyati had only known Sana for just a couple of years, they were the best of friends. Sana and Niyati loved walking to school together, and often told each other stories and asked for advice on their way to school. Today was no different. Niyati told Sana about her "healthy discussion" with her mother this morning.

"Relax Niyati, I'm sure theatre will be a blast!" Sana said putting her hand on Niyati's shoulder.

"Are you going to be in theatre too?" Niyati said with a grin?

"No....I'm in the cooking class. You know how much I love cooking, you goof." Sana said with a laugh.

"Oh." Niyati said, her smile turning into a frown.

"Don't worry Niyati," Sana said, seeing Niyati's change in emotion. "I'm sure we will at least have some classes together, na?"

"I guess...."Niyati said, still a bit glum.

The two walked onwards to school, a bit quieter than usual. They soon reached a big wooden gate with the name New Delhi High School written on it in blue paint. As usual, the school was packed with literally thousands of students waiting for the first bell to ring.

Niyati and Sana squeezed their way through the front of the school. After reaching the front, they sat down on the steps. They chatted some more; their conversation a bit livelier than before. Both were nervous, since real school was about to begin. Filled with homework, assignments, exams, studying, drama, etc.

"...I heard the cooking instructor is really nice...I hope your instructor is good as well." Sana said to Niyati.

"Yeah, I--"Niyati was interupted by the sound of the bell ringing.

Sana and Niyati sighed. They hugged each other for a while, not wanting to let go and face the treacherous world ahead of them. The two friends parted ways, going to their respective 1st period teachers.

First period -- Cooking for Sana, and Theatre for Niyati.

Please post lots of feedback and comment!Big smile


Edited by -Nikasha- - 05 June 2010 at 2:20pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


Nikasha. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 July 2007
Posts: 3383

Posted: 06 June 2010 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
Erm I'm not really getting any feedback... Would like to see some before I post the next episode.    Stern Smile
suchi_dev2006 Goldie

Joined: 12 May 2006
Posts: 1765

Posted: 11 June 2010 at 3:47am | IP Logged

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii very nice story

i would like to say that this is a marvelous thought for a just 15 year old girl, please keep continue the story.. and never do any injustice with your story, even if you don't get any feedback, because a lot of people read stories silently and more importantly when your young mind develop such a wonderful conception, then you should turn it into a story.. isn't it?Smile

waiting for the next episodeSmile

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Nikasha. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 July 2007
Posts: 3383

Posted: 11 June 2010 at 11:29am | IP Logged

 Tere Ho Gaye Hain Hum Episode 3 -- Narrated by Niyati:

First impressions can be very deceiving at times. Who do first impressions think they are? They can give us a very negative perception of a person, and make us strongly dislike the person. Right?

As I walked to the theatre room, I had mixed emotions. I felt sad, as I had no one by my side. I felt sad, because I didn't know how to act and be an actress. I felt happy, as I was doing my mother proud.

When I approached the theatre room, I was warmly greeted by one of the directors. I felt a little better, but not really. Once everyone filed into the room, the roll call was taken.

"Niyati Aggarwal?" Mr. Mathur, a theatre director, said loudly.

"Present sir." I said, quietly.


"Ayesha Mittal?"

"Present sir."


"Shyaam Sharma?"

"PRESENT SIR!" A voice yelled, loudly.

Obnoxious, right?


"Now everybody, we will start off the class with some basic acting. We will provide you a script, and ask you to say some of the lines in front of the class....Just so we know if you need extra help or not... Now, first up...NIYATI AGGARWAL!" Mr. Mathur said loudly, for everyone to hear.

Oh, great. Why does my name have to be first? I can't act at all! They'll all laugh at me...No...I'll do my best...I'll just have to...

I got up from my seat. I was nervous; I could feel my face turning red. I quickly walked to the front of the room. I could hear the whispers around me. Some people were laughing, while some were waiting quietly - anxious to see me act.

Mr. Mathur handed me a script, and told me to relax.

How could I relax?
I  took a deep breath, and started reading aloud from the script. The room was very quiet, and all eyes were on me. I read on and on, not sure how I was doing. It seemed as if I was reading forever and ever. The moment seemed never-ending. I felt as I were going to cry! After reading for a few minutes, I was interupted by Mr. Mathur.

He told me to stop. He motioned for someone to come to the front of the room.

That was when I first saw him.

He was tall and handsome, with a well-built tanned body. His hair was tousled, though shiny and healthy-looking. He wore a dark jeans, white sneakers, and a some-what tight white t-shirt, revealing his muscles and hairy arms. He was perfect.
He was Shyaam...

Edited by -Nikasha- - 11 June 2010 at 2:28pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


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