Joined: 07 November 2008
Siddhant Modi Drunk...Haila!!! What can I say?? This man when he drank in this episode, became the young boy he is at heart. When he comes to Armaan he asks the one question that has been plaguing him all this time. "Does she love me?" And this is what it really comes down to, Does Ridz love Sid?? This poor man has turned himself inside out, has locked his heart up and set the woman he loves free so that she may be happy. But he has yet to figure out the answer to the most important question, "Does she love me?". The second Sid gets the answer to this question all his problems will disappear. He can stop playing this tug of war with his heart and mind and finally move on. If the answer is no, then once and for all he will leave Ridz so that she may be happy. And although he will always love her, and be incomplete without her, he will at least be at peace that she is happy and is where she wants to be. If the answer is yes, then he will run to her with open arms, embrace her, shower her with all the love that is hidden in his heart and never, never let her go.
But Chintu Modi is not done. He goes on to reveal something else that has been weighing his heart down. The fact that he wants to hate Armaan, but can't. No matter how hard he tries, his heart refuses to allow him to hate Armaan. Oh sure he hates it when Armaan is with Ridz and of course the fact that he has to use Armaan's help at getting Ridz. But he does not hate the man that Armaan is. Cause even though Armaan coming back has turned Sid's life upside down he knows that none of this is Armaan's fault. It's life. For often the things we plan out of life are never quite what really unfolds. As they say, we make plans and God laughs. And boy has God been laughing at these three.
And then Sid goes on to say some of the most heart touching words. We get to hear the pain and hurt that he has been hiding under that shield of anger and batameezi. He goes on to say "Riddhima left me again. She got upset and left" And you see now that everytime Ridz has left it has not been easy for Sid to see. Yes, he is the one that most of the time is pushing her away. But the fact that she turns and actually walks away breaks his heart. And you see that each time she does so only reaffirms to Sid that she doesn't want him. The same thing he has been unknowingly been doing to Ridz, she has been doing to him. Sid is not a mind reader, he too needs to hear words more that marriage and husband. He too needs to hear something that says that Ridz wants him for him. Not for his title, not for his mangulsutra, but for the person he is. So you see it isn't easy for Sid to say the words of love he holds in his heart, for everytime Ridz walks away those words get pushed further and further away from his mouth. As he said, "She doesn't listen to word I say, she's always mad".
The revelations continue. Sid tells us what many of us have been suspecting that the
reason he has been getting mad at Ridz is not
because he hates her, but in fact because he wants to get rid of her from his
heart (my personal favorite line of the whole monologue. Hai. When I heard this my heart just
melted for this man and the love he has for a woman he doesn't even believe
wants him let alone love him. The
fact that he can feel this deeply about her believing the things he does just
proves to me that Siddhant Modi's heart is made of nothing but 24k gold). He goes on to say that has tried to
explain to his heart to forget Ridz, to remove her from his heart. But that his heart doesn't listen. And then he says what we all have
known, "My heart loves Ridz more
than myself. And that he loves her
most.". And isn't that the truth??
I mean everything he has done and continues to do is for Ridz, he never once
thought about himself and what he wanted.
In fact, he purposely locked up his feelings so that he could do what
Ridz wanted. I mean he was married to Ridz, a girl who is "traditional" as
everyone likes to say so he could have easily raised his rights as a husband and
forbade her to see Armaan, to talk to him. He could have said that they are married and that's
that . But instead he does the complete opposite.He doesn't just leave options option for Ridz, but he paves
the roads himself and the whole time he is taking a knife to his own heart.
Then the truth comes out. What this man has been so trying to hide both from those around him and from himself finally comes out. He asks the one man who has the power to grant him his wish the one thing he wants more than anything else, "Will you please give me Riddhima. Take me to Ridz, I can't stay alone." And your heart both breaks and heals in this moment. It breaks because of all the pain this one secret has been causing both Sid and Riz. It breaks because you see now that the man we have been seeing yelling hurtful and vengeful words at his wife is truly carrying a very heavy heart around. But at the same time, it heals. It heals because finally Sid has unlocked his heart and the emotions he has been keeping inside. And now that the gate is open and the love is out, it will be impossible for Sid to put it all back and try to act callous. He goes on to admit that he knows Armaan is trying to help him, and that he is sorry for messing it up. For Armaan gave him the opportunity and once again Sid knows he blew it. He says, "Ridz came. And then she left. Mad at me." And on his face you see that the world crashed down on him'again.
Then he says what we have all been waiting for, "I want Riddhima." This my friends is the final blow to the door that has been holding Sid's heart prison. Now that Sid has revealed all that has been in his heart, there is no turning back. His heart is wide open, all that ice that had froze it when he saw Ridz in Armaan's arms in Lonavala has been thawed. His heart is once again for the taking, and only one woman will ever be allowed to take it, his wife.
So I leave with this, regardless of how Sid and Ridz finally
end up together, it wont matter because these two already each others. Sid's heart already belongs to Ridz and,
his talli self at least, knows it.
And Ridz's heart was Sid's from the moment he brought her back to land
of the living, and right now she knows her life
belongs to Sid. All she needs is a
little shower of affection from her husband for her to realize that this fear
of losing Sid and this need for the marriage to work is more than duty, that it
is in fact, love.
You know the rules...play nice...
Joined: 16 December 2008
Joined: 07 November 2008
Joined: 09 June 2009
Joined: 20 August 2005
Joined: 16 January 2010
'Jab tak tum nahi kahooge,tab tak main tumse Katti'
Joined: 31 January 2006
Joined: 26 May 2005
wow...dat was soooo beautifully written...luvd every word u wrote....
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