though i haven't ever written os earlier but there is always a first time.
UNFAIR OR FAIRY TALE?
I entered my new coaching institute, clutching my books near my body. Class was full with boys and girls, more boys and fewer girls. Not everyone was as scared as me. Of course why would they be? They are not ME.
I went to an empty seat and settled down placing my belongings in desk. Soon a girl occupied the seat next to me. She was no where near to being scared or even nervous of the new class and new mates. Is nervousness my only my genetic trait? Am I sure to be normal?
"Nice class' hi, I m gunjan. You can call me gunj. And you?" the confidant girl beside me asked.
"Hi, I m Deepika, Deepika Vasudeva"
"You sound like 007 guy. Bond, James bond. Hahahaha"
I was too nervous to laugh on her jokes. James bond, if James bond started being even 1% scared as me than he'll lose the title of being called James bond 007.
To my relief the professor entered with his wrinkled face, 5 dioptre convex glasses and unusual smug. How I wish I could simply get up and walk out of this dreading physics coaching class. Muttering hundreds of curses for this not-so-friendly looking teacher I opened my new notebook and started it with writing DEEPIKA in most curly way using all my calligraphy skills.
Class was as usual boring me; teacher's looks weren't helping in any way. My eyes roamed around the whole class of at least 120 students.
This was when I saw something or rather someone for whom I don't regret coming over to this boring, dull physics class. A boy, who sat at diagonally 2 benches ahead to me. He was penning down something on his notebook, of course unlike me not the Mickey Mouse and Donald duck pictures. He was sincerely taking down the notes. Suddenly he turned, maybe he sensed someone staring at him. His eyes met mine. Terrified as never before, I hastily downed my face and started penning down anything, anything that could make me look like I was taking notes. I felt his gaze on me for fractions of seconds before he turned back to his holy-physics-notes.
Rest of the time I passed looking at my notebook and sketching DORA, THE EXPLORER. I didn't want to be caught again while gawking at an unknown.
Next day, I again sat with gunjan. We were bit early as there were still 15 minutes for class to start. My eyes, even after being scold my by mind several times, wandered to the door, waiting for that Mr. enchanting-eyes. And there he comes, walking elegantly and straight to his previous seat. Once settled on his seat, I don't know why but he turned and looked in our directions. Scared of being caught staring again I turned to gunjan and started discussing last lecture.
Several days passed like this only. I would get impatient if he ever gets late, my heart will jump whenever he glanced at me, whole time in class I'll admire him from 8 fts distance.
During the whole class my eyes were fixed more on his back then on blackboard. Maybe I was hallucinating or I found him turning a bit after every five minutes and glancing in our directions. Of course I was hallucinating, why would he?
"He is Samrat shergill' cute na?" gunjan whispered in my ear, "he is my classmate in chemistry coaching and next to him is Mayank sharma another classmate at chemistry coaching".
"You know those guys?" I asked her ignoring the fact that I was caught checking out some guy.
"Very well, and you know what' I and samrat are dating since last year. That's why we both took admission in same coaching's" even in the loud voice of our ugly looking teacher I could clearly listen the breaking sound of heart. So that's why he was steeling glances. He wasn't looking at me but at gunjan. I am feeling extremely jealous of this girl next to me. If possible, I would like to exchange places with gunjan.
"Oh!" that was all my shattered throat could manage. I can't even cry for my remorse. Poor me. At least I should have right to cry. Why? Oh why I have this freaking fate? I am not even allowed to have happiness of being in doubt that samrat was looking for me. I want to dig a hole here and bury myself.
"you know he is sooooooo romantic! A perfect lover" grrrrr' her dreamy eyed look is getting into my nerves. One more thing about their mutual romance and I bet I'll rip off this smile off her face. I turned my face to hide the pain and regret. Its not gunjan's mistake if you fell for her love. Its his mistake. Yes! Its his mistake. How can someone look so cute, awww.. Those dimples! Sob sob! I had already accepted them as my private property.
All the while she was blabbering about how-romantic-he-can-be!!
I know you have right to speech, so better keep your mouth SHUT! I wanted to yell on her but the goody-goody me can never ever hurt someone who is innocent. Yes, I have to accept that we were never meant to be. Ouch! Heart broke again.
After that incident, I had somehow convinced myself not to look at him ever' ok I admit I glanced at him whenever I was sure no one will notice. I had to accept that he was someone else's. Sometimes I did find him looking longingly in our direction. Of course, his lady love was unfortunately my partner, though we were allowed to sit as we wanted but she preferred sitting with me then with samrat, reason being that he won't like to become a gossip topic.
She told me that they spend their weekends together at random places. I never probed her for details as I know it will only make it worse for me to imagine them romancing' urghhh!!
Even though I knew that samrat was dating gunjan but still, I caught him looking at me several times. No doubts I got goose bumps every time but it made me uncomfortable as I would never like to be reason of failing of my friend's relationship, if it happens.
I tried to ignore the jealous feelings and tried my best to accept the cruel reality. Time passed, days became weeks and weeks became months.
Once when I was accompanying my family to a movie theatre I saw gunjan there. She was sitting or rather cuddling with a guy. Instantly I turned my back towards them as I won't be able to see them doing coo-chi-coo with my own eyes. I concentrated on everything else other than them. And I was sure they didn't notice me, better would be they didn't notice anyone who was gawking at them. My mother who had met gunjan several times saw her too. I felt so embarrassed in the situation; my only friend was romancing with my only love. Is there anything worse? Probably not. My mom asked me to see and confirm that it was gunjan only. Reluctantly I turned around' only to get the shock of my life time. She was there with mayank! And not with my love and her boyfriend samrat!!
It was a laugh and cry situation all together. Should I be happy that I didn't have to see my love with anyone else? Or should I be sad that he was being two-timed by his girlfriend? I nodded at my mom and confirmed that it was gunjan only. We went from there quietly without letting them know that we had caught them red-handed doing nonsense in public.
Next day when I reached our physics institute, I waited for samrat in the parking area. I was determined to let him know about his girlfriend's ruse. Not because I was jealous but because it was morally incorrect too. I had passed him a chit in class today asking him to meet me in parking after the class and he had nodded in affirmation too.
PLEASE MEET ME IN PARKING AREA AFTER CLASS. IT'S URGENT.
I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I knew it was him; I turned around to face him and reveal the truth.
"Hi" oh god! First time, first time since I have met him it's his first ever addressing to me! Cut it Deepika, come to the point. Yes, tell him about his betrayal.
"Hi" mere a whisper. Damned my struck throat and shut up you butterflies in my abdomen.
"You said something urgent, what is it?" curiosity in his voice didn't go unnoticed. And his worry wasn't uncalled for. The matter was worth worrying.
"Umm' yes, I wanted to tell you something'. That you must know'"
"And that is'" he probed me to continue but I was again confused that should I tell him. Maybe I was mistaken. I guess I should have cleared it with gunjan first. But now what? I have already called him. Stupid me! Wait... But he has all the rights to know that his girl is only his. Right?
"Gunjan' it's about gunjan" I added softly and looked at him in the eyes as trying to convey the message through eyes.
"What about gunjan?" the confused look on his face was making the lump in my throat bigger and bigger. Awww... He doesn't deserve to be betrayed.
"She' she is two-timing you" I added in a whisper and lowered my eyes, feeling guilty of don't know what! I can't see him with anyone else but also I can't see him hurt. Its terrible!
"WHAT?" his reaction wasn't that of a shock but confusion. Can't he understand simple English?
"Yes, yesterday I saw her with your friend in a movie theatre' they were' not in decent state" I kept my eyes low watching his adidas shoes and my physics' resnick and hallidey book.
"What are you talking about? I am not getting you" what are you a dumbass? It's so simple your-girlfriend-is cheating-on-you. Idiot!
"Samrat, she is cheating on you" I said looking in his deep eyes again.
"Cheating on me? How can she... wait you said samrat?" he said confused to the peak and confusing me too.
"Yes, you are samrat'. Or not?"
"NO! I am mayank' wait, you thought that I am samrat and gunjan is my girlfriend. You saw them together and thought she was cheating on me?"
Holy crap! That means whom I loved since day one is mayank not samrat and gunjan is samrat's girlfriend not mayank's! That means that I don't need to be jealous of gunjan now. That means that gunjan ISN'T betraying her boyfriend. Then whom did mayank used to look at, if not gunjan? Wait' he isn't gunjan's boyfriend that doesn't mean he is single.
"You are not samrat?" I confirmed, I can hallucinate things in my hearts favor.
He smiled and chuckled. Of course he was enjoying my guilty plus embarrassed plus confused look.
"Okay, let me clear your facts. I am mayank and NOT samrat; I am NOT gunjan's boyfriend. Hi, nice to meet you" he forwarded his hand for hand shake. Hand shake his two lines of facts has shaken me to the core. If happiness could be measured on scale then right now all the limits of happiness are too small to measure. I shook my hand with him.
"Nice to meet you' mayank" I bet I am red by now, out of embarrassment.
He smiled and turned to go. How can I be so clumsy? All this confusion is because of gunjan. She thought I was eyeing her boyfriend when I was admiring my cutie, dimpled cheeks mayank. I will never forgive her for creating such a big confusion and for my heartbreak since she told she was dating mayank! "Damn!"
"Oh! I forgot to clear the most important fact" I looked up. He was standing offensively near to me. His face inches away from mine; I could clearly see the mischief in his deep brown eyes. My heart skipped bunch of beats together.
"What is it?" I asked unsure of what was in his mind.
"That'" he stepped closer and my heartbeat stopped. "That' I m still single and still waiting for someone special" he winked and kissed me on my cheek. Before I could make out what just happened he was no where to be seen. I touched my cheek where just moments back his lips were. Oh god! I reached the zenith of ecstasy and happiness with in few minutes. Now I know that those longing glances were not for gunjan but for me!
What an irony! When we think life is un[fair] it can suddenly turn to be [fair]y tale!!
"I love you mayank" I found myself giving voice to my feelings.
"And I love a little more than you do" a whisper in my ear, his breath on my neck and chest rubbing against my back was enough to justify my next action.
In a swift motion I turned around and placed my lips on his, claiming my private property forever. It took him a couple of seconds to comprehend what I was doing but then he too held me tightly in his grip and pulled me into him. My arms encircling his strong neck and heels raised to meet his height.
Whoever said that fairy tales don't exist anymore needs to meet us!