Posted: 06 June 2010 at 6:08pm | IP Logged
Karan, more people don't automatically signify a stronger family.
Instead of talking about more, I am talking about just 2 people who love each other plus the kid. Read more below.
Don't you think having a second mother will create more problems for the child? He'll have to grow up in a society that is not too keen on the presence of same-sex couples. Imagine him being in school and writing stories about his two moms when everyone is telling the class about their mom and dad. How can you expect a young child to cope with that scenario?
Other mom will also be a huge support for the kid and she can role play as a father and the biological mom can be the mother.
Telling everyone about 2 moms/missing dad, in USA, is not a big problem as compared to telling about the missing dad in India. 1) People in USA are not nosy like that in India 2) In addition, the questions that matter most are the ones that "eat" you. They are the recurring questions for which one doesn't have satisfying answers. Both the moms can easily satisfy the curiosity about missing dad/2 moms because a second person will be present physically. She can say that I am like your father and explain the situation. The kid will have some one acting as father. He/she may miss his/her father, but not in a same way as in the case of unwed mom.
On the other hand, the missing father in the case of kid with unwed mom will be like a huge "why?" and he will only have an emptiness to stare at, apart from his mother and some explanations by the unwed mother.
We all need companionship in our lives, yes, but that does not always mean a significant other. The unwed mother will have family that may support her, she may go out and make friends that will listen to her vent, not everyone needs a significant other to lead their lives.
A friend cannot replace a significant other with whom one can share every secret and feeling. Moreover, just the friend factor is same in both cases because lesbian couples will also have friends. But don't forget that it will be difficult for an ostracized person, in the both cases, to make friends in the society.
Family may not be ready to accept the unwed mother and even if they do then unwed mother will have to listen to all the taunts from her family members on her back. Because family members wont take quietly the social burden and frustration that comes free with the unwed mom.
As far as sexual advances go, just because a woman is single does not automatically entail that men will make sexual advances on her. In fact, the fact that it is a small town where presumably everyone knows each other, I doubt such situations will arise due to fear of public humiliation, etc.
Small town also means the problems of law and order in India. In Indian society, people blame woman more than the man for adultery. The above 2 factors are conducive for some men (if they are perverted) to make sexual advances.
And lastly, earning a living --- there are families all across India and in the US that survive on one parent's income.
But, its one of the several inconveniences that unwed mom will have to face. More so if her family decides to abandon her
The child is not an "infant", but a teenager who I'm sure is very well able to take care of him/herself.
The scenario given in the debate starts from the point when one is born.
As far as financial support goes, as I said before, just because the woman is an unwed mother does not automatically mean she is alone. And in that case, I'm sure she can work and support herself and her child or receive financial support from her family.
Thats an assumption, but what if she will be alone? In that case its better to have 2 people than one.
Edited by karandel_2008 - 06 June 2010 at 6:14pm