Posted: 05 June 2010 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Cuckoocutter
how convenient of you to make that assumption, but never mind.:) now tell me- how'd the kid come around? did the biological mom have a man first, then sometime later decide that oops, she was really more inclined towards a lesbian relationship? or did something get put into a test-tube? i can understand your desire to have a biological parent (heck i was trying to be eloquent on that score myself right when i started), but how natural is any of this in the lesbian lifestyle?
My point is that if one will read clearly "you would be born to a long time committed lesbian couple in a moderate town" then it is correct to at least discard the possibility of being "adopted". Otherwise its just a case of mistake while reading the debate text.
Now as per your questions on how the kid was born? - there are as many numerous questions that can be asked in the case of unwed mother. All the possibilities like test-tube exist for unwed mother as well. Some possibilities have more chances and some less.
You cant be assuming a particular possibility just based on the chance whereas first of all that assumption was not specified in the debate topic text.
Only valid assumption from "one would be born to a long time committed lesbian couple" would be one that indicates a biological mother.
your other point was about obsession. well, if you call it obsession, then you'd likely call most indian moms obsessive.
their kids turn out fine in spite of it, dont they, less drugged out, less sexed out, less confused in life.
Most Indian moms are "not" unwed and are lets say normal. However are you saying that just the fact of being unwed makes an unwed mom's love something very special? It appears to be so from your first post. If this "better love" turned out to be the best thing then society would have wished to have most mothers unwed.
In fact, if we take your less-control-is-good strategy, then we do end up with the usual american way- cutting their teen kids loose and having them fend for themselves. that great american experiment in imparting independent bearing generally doesnt work out too well does it? it leaves the kid confused, unloved, susceptible to negative peer pressure.
If you will read my text above then from "obsession" I am talking about your argument of "extra love" that you claim arises from being unwed. You already talked about control here, thus, my point would be more-control-is-bad. That in fact leaves the kid confused and dependent, who cant take any decision on his/her own. Imagine a 20-30 years old kid asking his extra controlling mom for each and every decision.
See it's just the rare kid who can deal with parents who are detached and still turn out independent and strong.
counting on that happenin is like looking to the high heavens for manna to fall. :) most often, strong parental love in the formative years is essential, especially during the turbulent teen years. in my case, my mom's "obsession" sees me through my teen years. time for independence comes later when i go away to college.
if i had to guess, i'd think a teen often has other distractions, things going on at school etc. The love you call obsessive gets filtered down by the time he perceives it. to him, it is just unquestioned love, not obsession. that's why you gotta think of it from the kid's perspective, not go experimenting the american way.
Again I am just dismissing the "extra love" factor in your point.
Regarding "unquestioned love" and taking care of kid during turbulent times can be done by any biological mother. And that before even starting to discuss american way vs indian way
Edited by karandel_2008 - 05 June 2010 at 4:18pm