Posted:
I don't think i have felt more helpless in life than I am feeling today. I don't think i have felt more unreasonably guilty than I am feeling right now. When I look at both of you , I feel as if some wound is being ripped open inside me. When i look at you, Sid , I see a man who permanently burns in a personal purgatory - a man who madly loves his wife and wants to spends his life with her - but he stops his heart because of his own assumptions , his own fears which have no foundation. And then , I look at you Riddhima - I see a mature , married woman who has come to love her husband , who has healed all her wounds in the hopes of a beautiful future with him - a wife who holds her marriage and her husband the most precious and cries rivers all alone , fearing that he will slip out of her fingers of she doesn't hold on to him strong enough.
Did I really come in between the both of you? No. I did not. Everything is between the two of you and I wish you both did not use me as an excuse to fight and hurt each-other. It is suicidal and I refuse to be a part or a cause of sinking a well-floating boat that you both are hell-bent on drowning.
It is strange , it is ironic that I am the only one who knows how you both feel about each-other. Sid , you think that Riddz doesn't love you . Riddhima , you feel that Sid doesn't want you. Then , who is that man who told me in total emotional breakdown that he loves his wife? Who was that shattered woman whose tears don't stop at the very thought of her husband not wanting and loving her? YOU..... that's both of you.
I don't know why I am in the middle of all this - maybe because of the bond that i have with you, Riddhima , maybe because I know that the man you have married loves you with his life, maybe because I have ended up having a soft corner for Sid and I really would like to see you both happy together so that this emotional weight goes off my shoulders. I cannot undo what has happened - the past is long gone but i can rectify the present..... because it's only me who sees the truth , not both of you , not at all.
You both are about 'HOPE' and you may shut the doors of your heart, Sid ..... you may hesitate to open the doors of your heart , Riddhima. But I am going to throw those doors open and neither of you can stop me.
And , as I have said time and again. I REFUSE to feel guilty. I am not an issue between the two of you and soon , I will make that clear to both of you.
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