Joined: 26 May 2005
This is after Riddhima decides to leave Siddhant for good...so its basically a continuation from there...this is my second attempt at a fanfic...my first on Siddhima...do let me know what you feel about it...appreciation as well as criticisms are welcome with both hands...your appreciations will boost my confidence and your criticisms will help me improve...i am basically not really good at hindi...i think in English before speaking or writing anything...so please bear with my hindi...the reason i choose hindi as the language for the dialogues is just because in felt that it makes it much more like as if the characters are the ones who are talking since thats the medium in which we hear them out on DMG...i have used English for all the thoughts and actions because i can express in a better manner using this language...i am posting the first part...please let me know your comments because i will continue only if you girls want me to...luv you all..thank you so much for sparing some of your precious time to read this...Index:
Joined: 26 May 2005
Part 1-You were a drug to me
Shashank: Padma maine tumse riddhima aur sid ke divorce ke bare mein isliye nai bataya kyunki mujhe bharosa tha ki sid aur riddhima par...
Padma: par kya shashank, dekho ab kyaa ho raha hai...riddhima ki haalat dekhi hai aapne?...na vo kuch barabar se kha rahi hain, na kisise baat kar rahi hain...bas apne kamre mein baithe ro rahi hain. Mujhse ye sab dekha nahi ja raha.
Shashank: tumhe kyaa lag raha hai...mein ye sab dekhke khush hu? Tumne sirf riddhima ko dekha hain...tumhe pata hain sid ka kyaa haal hain...vo apne aap ko kaam mein duba raha hain, na kisi se baat kar raha hain, na kisi ki baat sun raha hain...armaan ne bhi bohut koshish ki use samjhane ki...armaan bhi kyaa kar sakta hain agar sid ne kisiki baat par yakeen karne ki than li hai.
They hear the door bell ring...
Padma: is waqt kaun ho sakta hain?
Shashank: mein dekhta hoon.
He was little expecting the person he saw at the door...although this is what he was really hoping against hope for...he was lost for words...should he be happy or worried...he didn't know...but now he had decided not to interfere in his daughter's decisions...it was her choice and her choice alone.
Shashank: Sid, beta tum...yahan iss waqt...sabkuch theek to hain na?
Sid: Sir mein ...kyaa mein riddhima se sirf ek baar mil sakta hoon...please?
Shashank could see the desperation in his moist, deep eyes...he couldn't believe that this was the same Sid whom he had met on his induction as a new intern...the mischief...happiness and life that could be clearly seen in his eyes those days had completely disappeared...he immediately looked away unable to bear the sight he just saw..
Shashank: vo apne karme mein hain siddhant, jao...jake mil ayo use.
Sid didn't utter a word and went straight to his beloved' s room...he was unsure how he is going to tell her...but he was sure that he will tell her...he had decided to tell her everything...he had expected her to tell him everything...not because she was his wife...but because he thought she had given made a place for him in her heart...given their relationship a name...that of friendship...and as a friend he deserved to know...he deserved to atleast know what she wanted...and when he expected that of her...it wouldn't be fair if he hid everything about him from her...as the saying goes...Do unto others what you want others to do unto you...and if he did not manage to garner the courage to do it now...he never would.
The door to her room was open...he could see her looking outside the window...he could see the sorrow she was going through...it pierced his heart deeper down seeing tears flowing down her cheeks...he wanted to hold her...tell her she will get all the happiness in the world...and he only wished the best for her even though he couldn't overcome the anger and pain he was undergoing seeing her in armaan's arms... he was only human and he had his own faults...how could he bear the sight of seeing the girl he loved the most...even more than his own life...in the arms of her ex...or was he her ex?...he didn't know...
Riddhima sensed the presence of the man she was yearning for...she smiled while tars rolled down her cheeks...she did not turn to face him...she didn't have the courage to look into his eyes which had hatred and nothing else for her...she couldn't bear to see that...
She choked...unable to speak...still not prepared to face him...thats the reason why she had avoided going to sanjeevini...it had been a week since she last met him...since she heard his soothing voice...
Sid: Riddhima...mein...mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai...
Riddhima: bolo Sid...mein sun rahi hoon...
Sid: mein kal ja raha hoon Riddhima...hamesha ke liye...sanjeevani chod ke...india chod ke...vapas ja raha hoon...
Riddhima couldn't believe what she just heard...she was somehow preparing herself to live with his hatred...she was consoling herself that even though he will never be the same Siddhant with her...atleast he will be their...his presence...that was all that she needed to live...but now...what will she do...how will she live if he goes far away from her...she turned to look at him...walked a few steps towards him...tears still rolling down her cheeks...
Sid couldn't bear seeing her in that state...he looked away unable to meet her eyes...sorry for all the pain he caused her...sorry for all the hurtful things he told her...although he did everything he could to give her back the happiness she deserved even though she had unknowingly but ruthlessly broken his heart into tiny pieces...
Sid: mein hamesha chahta tha ki humare rishte me sirf sachai ho...koi jhoot nai...maine expect kia tha ki tum mere saath sab kuch share karogi...par...shayad mein galat tha...jab meine khud tumse apne baari mein...mein kyaa chahta hoon uske bare mein nahi bataya to mein ye tumse kaise expect kar sakta hoon...tum jaanti ho...jab me india aaya tha tab mein aise nahi tha...mujhe sanjeevini mein jabardasti bheja gaya tha...taki mein responsible banu...abhi bhaiya ki tarah...phir meri mulakat tamanna se hui...
Sid: haan Tamanna...vo jisse mein bohut chidta tha...vo bhi mujhse chidti thi...phir hamari dosti hui aur phir mujhe laga ki mein use pyaar karne laga hoon...par tab tak bohut der ho chuki thi...uske papa ne uske shaadi kai aur karne ka faisla kar liya tha aur tamanna uske papa ke khilaf jaane ke bare mein kabhi sooch bhi nahi sakti thi...tamanna mujhse pyaar karti thi...lekin use lagta tha ki mein usse pyaar nahi karta...ki mein ek bachha tha...jisse koi cheez pasand aye to use pane ki zidd karta tha...usne mujhse kaha ki vo meri zidd thi...pyaar nahi...ye kehke vo hamesha ke liye mujhe chod kar chali gayi...use airport mein aakhri baar milne ke liye gaya tha mein...vo apne mangetar ke saath ja rahi thi aur mein use rokh bhi nahi sakta tha...
A tear rolled down his eye...and riddhima who was now looking at him saw it...now she was losing hope...so there was another girl...a girl he loved...a girl who left him heart broken...he loves someone else...he is hence unable to make space for me in his life...so is this the reason...
Sid: Stopping her was now not in my control...and i was just sinking in the realisation that i have lost her for ever...my miss puppy gayab...thats when i first met you...
He sighed...and she remembered that incident at the airport...she had earlier regretted for having misunderstood him...for having sent him to jail for no reason...not once but twice...she had regretted for having called him a molestor...and even worse...a rapist...but now...the guilt was even more...she had unknowingly and foolishly just increased his pain...he was already tormented by the loss of the girl he loved...he was heart broken...and she...how could she not see that...why couldn't she just trust him for what he said...how could she be so arrogant...so blind...
Sid: mein tumse nafrat karne laga tha...infact bohut nafrat karta tha tumse...but you know what...mujhe khud pata nai chala kit um ne anjaane se hi sahi...mujhe us depression me jaane se bachaya...tamanna ko jaate hue dekh mujhe laga jaise meine sab kuch kho diya...jaise mere jeene ki vaja mujhse chin li gayi ho...par uske agle hi pal...tumse takrane ke baad...jaise meri jaan lot ayi...us nafrat ne jaise mujhe...i don't know mein ye kaise samjhau...jaise mujhe ek reason mil gaya ho jeene ka...tumse badla lena...jaise vo mera maksad ban gaya tha...you were like a drug Riddhima...jisne meri saari uddasi mujhse door kar di...
He took a pause...she couldn't help but admire this man...she had punished him sooo much....hurt him beyond limit...and still this man says that it was she who actually brought him out of depression...how could he still glorify her...how could he make her look so good when she didn't deserve it...
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