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Geet Hui Sabse Parayi.......and NRI marriages? (Page 3)

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rahmona_pakswe

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rahmona_pakswe

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Posted: 13 May 2010 at 10:39am | IP Logged
I don't know how much this is related to the topic and I'm sorry if I'm going off topic however I would like to share something with you all. I am of pakistani background but borned and raised in Europe. I got married when I was 19. It was an arranged marriage and I had given my full consent. The boy was from Pakistan and had recently arrived to Europe. We got married and had a baby. He got his permanent stay when our baby was about 8 months. Just sometime after he started to make my life really difficult saying that I didn't obey him, that I was only listening to my parents and that I had no respect for him. He started to forbid me from doing certain things and forbid me to meet my parents. He even asked his mother to come and stay with us to control my "bad behaviour". After months in pain and humiliation I was completely broken. I was more alive then dead. Then one thing to another this lead to our divorce. 4-5 months after our divorce was finalized he got engaged to a woman who was living in Pakistan. Later they got married and he brought her to Europe. Now they have two kids.
 
I came to understand later that he only wanted to marry me so he could get a stay. I also found out what he thought of pakistani girls borned and raised in Europe that we are...well you fill in the blanks. I have never felt so used in my life and I never thought it could happen to me. But it did.
 

..RamKiJanaki..

IF-Stunnerz

..RamKiJanaki..

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Posted: 13 May 2010 at 10:53am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rahmona_pakswe

I don't know how much this is related to the topic and I'm sorry if I'm going off topic however I would like to share something with you all. I am of pakistani background but borned and raised in Europe. I got married when I was 19. It was an arranged marriage and I had given my full consent. The boy was from Pakistan and had recently arrived to Europe. We got married and had a baby. He got his permanent stay when our baby was about 8 months. Just sometime after he started to make my life really difficult saying that I didn't obey him, that I was only listening to my parents and that I had no respect for him. He started to forbid me from doing certain things and forbid me to meet my parents. He even asked his mother to come and stay with us to control my "bad behaviour". After months in pain and humiliation I was completely broken. I was more alive then dead. Then one thing to another this lead to our divorce. 4-5 months after our divorce was finalized he got engaged to a woman who was living in Pakistan. Later they got married and he brought her to Europe. Now they have two kids.
 
I came to understand later that he only wanted to marry me so he could get a stay. I also found out what he thought of pakistani girls borned and raised in Europe that we are...well you fill in the blanks. I have never felt so used in my life and I never thought it could happen to me. But it did.
 
 
Oh my God, I am really sorry something like that happened to you. It's terrible that someone one trusts could turn out like that.Ouch I really feel for your situation and hope everything turns out better for you. Do you have your parents' support?
 
My family too knows someone who went through something similar, except that in this case the genders were turned around. It was the wife who used her husband to her advantage and left him and their baby son after her own needs were satisfied, and the husband is our close family friend and often came to us for support and consolation since he lived far from his own parents and family. 
 
Situations like these are very tough and emotionally hard to deal with. I am really sorry for what happend to you, once again.

rahmona_pakswe

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rahmona_pakswe

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Posted: 13 May 2010 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
@JanakiRaghunath. Thanks for replying my post and thanks for your concern.
 
It seems like yesterday however this happened almost a decade ago. At that time not only my parents supported me but also all my relatives including my grandparents. I was blessed to have their support. Although now I'm ok and my wounds are healed but what about the scars? The scars in your soul that no one can see? Yes you might move forward in your life however you can never forget a bad experience like this. In the end you just have to live with it whether you want it or not.

Ice-Thinker

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Jiah.Angel

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Posted: 14 May 2010 at 12:52pm | IP Logged
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*Woh Ajnabee*

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*Woh Ajnabee*

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Posted: 14 May 2010 at 5:25pm | IP Logged
There are good and bad people on both sides of the fence. Always. On one hand, some desis living abroad feel the need to live out their lives to full extent, engaging in activities that would normally be considered immoral or unacceptable in the society they hail from. However, after a certain stage, most people realize the significance of their culture, their traditions, and their customs. This usually comes when its time to settle down --- they want their wives/husbands to be like their parents, and they want to have the life of their parents regardless of the fact that it was something they once detested. In such case, they fly back to the homeland and find someone that matches their idea of tradition.

On the other hand, do not mistake those in the homeland to be innocent. Many look for desis that are living abroad, hoping they will be their ticket to the States or any other foreign nation of their choosing. They want to go out and live the life they've heard of, and therefore readily agree to marry non-resident desis. Of course, in our arranged marriage system, it is of high significance to make sure proper background checks and whatnot have been done for security.

However, the situation that this serial describes is something very rare, and I'm sure it does not happen often. I can assure you that I have personally seen many such marriages that have worked out and are still happily in tact. At the same time, you cannot deny that such things happen and one should always think twice before agreeing to a life-long bond of marriage to a stranger.

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lola610

ElusiveDevotion

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ElusiveDevotion

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Posted: 14 May 2010 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
Hey it reminds me of another serial I loved, Hum Pardesi Ho Gaye...but that one had the NRI involved in affair with some other woman.

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--ania--

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