Posted:
Dear Riddhima,
Today i step back....I step back because today i've lost everything...When i was coming to meet you i rekindled a hope in my heart...a hope tht died the day u signed those papers...tht time u carved my heart out n today u stabbed it again...I know i had only sent u the papers, but it was to give you a choice, n a tiny voice in my heart said you wont sign them, but u did, thereby confirming my worst fears tht after all, u dont wanna be wit me...the 7 months ur father wanted us to give to this marriage were like a few drops of water for a dying man n i was so happy...i wanted to talk to u n ask u if its wat u want as well...to give 'US' a final chance...I thot u d come to the terrace tht day but u dint come Ridhhima...U went to Lonavala...to Armaan...n u dint even let me know...one call or one message...how much time does tht take...was i asking for too much ridhhima? But u went away thereby breaking even the feeblest of the threads of hope tht i had...i thot its all over...i convinced myself its all over...tht u n armaan r meant to be...but then tamanna called me n told me u were missing me...n there it was again...the tiny flicker of hope...n this time i was coming to say all the things i ve always wanted to say...i was coming to clear all the misunderstandings we had...to tell u how much u meant to me...to take home my wife...with new hopes, new dreams a new life n a new beginning i wanted to start afresh...as friends...so we cud understand each other n make this work...i was ecstatic coz for the first time i felt even u wanted the same...but little did i know wat was awaiting me in lonavala...the nightmare tht had been haunting me for such a long time was finally gonna raise its ugly head and knock me out forever....I'm down n out......
To Be Continued..........
Contd...
I'm down n out...Its difficult to pen down my feelings right now...anger, jealousy, deception, helplessness, pain, anguish, misery...all rolled into one...I still cant believe wat i saw...my wife in someone else's arms n not just anyone else but the man whom she once loved with all her heart n maybe still does...my world came crashing down...and with tht all the hopes, dreams n desires tht i had so painstakingly gathered...Y ridhhima...y did u do this...how can i now believe anything u said...my outburst today was not just coz of the scene today...my feelings n emotions erupted finally coz i had suppressed them for so many days...i kept hoping like a fool tht mayb u also want this to work...u also believed in us...since the time armaan returned, i ve been trying to ask u wat u want...like an idiot i kept chasing u, to try n understand wats going on in ur mind...whether u wanted to go back to ur past or move ahead with me...i wanted to give you a choice because ur happiness was my priority...i'd rather stay alone for the rest of my life, thanking god, tht once u considered me worthy enough for u, than have u beside me with ur heart elsewhere...thts y i sent u to pune to meet armaan...thts y i told u watever will be ur decision, i ll support it...but u never gave me a clear answer...u let me assume things...the day i asked u if u still love armaan, u just ran away...wat was i to think? i took it as a yes n decided to free u of this obligation...wen i sent u the divorce papers i wanted to let u know tht ur decision will not be bound by anything...u r free to chose without having to worry bout something tht was tying u down...even after signing the papers, u dint tel me y u signed it so i guessed tht is ur decision, but again the 7 months tht ur dad talked bout, gave me hope...n again like a delusional man i tried to talk n ask u if u want this as well...i shud ve understood tht time itself...coz again u dint come...n today u gave me my answer ridhhima...i feel used...i feel disgusted...i feel like a moron thinking u wud ever chose me...but all wanna ask u is Y? y did u play wit me? i feel like a substitute who is now being asked to step aside coz armaan is back...if all along this is wat u wanted, all u had to do is say it...i wud ve let u go happily...dint i tell u this already? then y ridhhima...y? today wen armaan asked me bout my 'Haq' on u, i realized how right he was...wen did i ever have a haq on u...did u ever give it to me? the moment i left from there, i regretted my words n action...every allegation is threw on u might have hurt ur heart but at the same time it tore my soul apart...i hated myself for saying those things to u...wat is this relationship we share ridhhima...wen u cry i feel the pain n wen i hurt u, i hurt myself even more...but i just know one thing...wat happened today was wrong...am going ridhhima...away from ur life...forever this time...the scene today...it was a brutal blow to my soul...a painful jab at my heart...n today i am down n out! Today I Step Back....
Today i step back....I step back because today i've lost everything...When i was coming to meet you i rekindled a hope in my heart...a hope tht died the day u signed those papers...tht time u carved my heart out n today u stabbed it again...I know i had only sent u the papers, but it was to give you a choice, n a tiny voice in my heart said you wont sign them, but u did, thereby confirming my worst fears tht after all, u dont wanna be wit me...the 7 months ur father wanted us to give to this marriage were like a few drops of water for a dying man n i was so happy...i wanted to talk to u n ask u if its wat u want as well...to give 'US' a final chance...I thot u d come to the terrace tht day but u dint come Ridhhima...U went to Lonavala...to Armaan...n u dint even let me know...one call or one message...how much time does tht take...was i asking for too much ridhhima? But u went away thereby breaking even the feeblest of the threads of hope tht i had...i thot its all over...i convinced myself its all over...tht u n armaan r meant to be...but then tamanna called me n told me u were missing me...n there it was again...the tiny flicker of hope...n this time i was coming to say all the things i ve always wanted to say...i was coming to clear all the misunderstandings we had...to tell u how much u meant to me...to take home my wife...with new hopes, new dreams a new life n a new beginning i wanted to start afresh...as friends...so we cud understand each other n make this work...i was ecstatic coz for the first time i felt even u wanted the same...but little did i know wat was awaiting me in lonavala...the nightmare tht had been haunting me for such a long time was finally gonna raise its ugly head and knock me out forever....I'm down n out......
To Be Continued..........
Contd...
I'm down n out...Its difficult to pen down my feelings right now...anger, jealousy, deception, helplessness, pain, anguish, misery...all rolled into one...I still cant believe wat i saw...my wife in someone else's arms n not just anyone else but the man whom she once loved with all her heart n maybe still does...my world came crashing down...and with tht all the hopes, dreams n desires tht i had so painstakingly gathered...Y ridhhima...y did u do this...how can i now believe anything u said...my outburst today was not just coz of the scene today...my feelings n emotions erupted finally coz i had suppressed them for so many days...i kept hoping like a fool tht mayb u also want this to work...u also believed in us...since the time armaan returned, i ve been trying to ask u wat u want...like an idiot i kept chasing u, to try n understand wats going on in ur mind...whether u wanted to go back to ur past or move ahead with me...i wanted to give you a choice because ur happiness was my priority...i'd rather stay alone for the rest of my life, thanking god, tht once u considered me worthy enough for u, than have u beside me with ur heart elsewhere...thts y i sent u to pune to meet armaan...thts y i told u watever will be ur decision, i ll support it...but u never gave me a clear answer...u let me assume things...the day i asked u if u still love armaan, u just ran away...wat was i to think? i took it as a yes n decided to free u of this obligation...wen i sent u the divorce papers i wanted to let u know tht ur decision will not be bound by anything...u r free to chose without having to worry bout something tht was tying u down...even after signing the papers, u dint tel me y u signed it so i guessed tht is ur decision, but again the 7 months tht ur dad talked bout, gave me hope...n again like a delusional man i tried to talk n ask u if u want this as well...i shud ve understood tht time itself...coz again u dint come...n today u gave me my answer ridhhima...i feel used...i feel disgusted...i feel like a moron thinking u wud ever chose me...but all wanna ask u is Y? y did u play wit me? i feel like a substitute who is now being asked to step aside coz armaan is back...if all along this is wat u wanted, all u had to do is say it...i wud ve let u go happily...dint i tell u this already? then y ridhhima...y? today wen armaan asked me bout my 'Haq' on u, i realized how right he was...wen did i ever have a haq on u...did u ever give it to me? the moment i left from there, i regretted my words n action...every allegation is threw on u might have hurt ur heart but at the same time it tore my soul apart...i hated myself for saying those things to u...wat is this relationship we share ridhhima...wen u cry i feel the pain n wen i hurt u, i hurt myself even more...but i just know one thing...wat happened today was wrong...am going ridhhima...away from ur life...forever this time...the scene today...it was a brutal blow to my soul...a painful jab at my heart...n today i am down n out! Today I Step Back....
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