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Social Pressure: Progression and Retrospection

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kvva

Senior Member

kvva

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 385

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 2:02am | IP Logged

Hi all,

 

From many days I have been thinking to write this. I heard this term 'Social Pressure' time and again and want to write about this.

 

I understand that we are majorly girls over here. Most of us are aware of the circumstances that many girls/women faced in this country days back or rather even facing currently.  They were not allowed to get educate, they were not allowed to speak up their mind and so on they basically did not have any choice. We have progressed from those days quite a lot.  But are the problem solved? Is a woman today as free as a man?

Can she get educated as she likes? Yes to a good extent, but if some woman wants some thing different she has to struggle.

Can she go out freely? Yes majority of the cases if it is to small outings like just to cinemas or parties etc, but if longer ventures has to take permissions, ensure safety conditions etc.

Can she choose a life partner? Yes in many cases, but still quite some struggle in cases.

 

These look fine so far.. Now lets move forward.

 

Can she choose where she is supposed to stay after marriage? Not in quite some cases if the  in-laws live in the same city. Live with in laws, adjust to their customs, their traditions more importantly their ways of living.  What about her dreams, her interests? Many a cases she needs to adjust.

 

Can she like some other man? No, definitely not. A man can escape it but it is highly unethical for a woman. I want like to ask the following questions in this regard,

 

Q1. A woman is raped. How do you want to treat it? An accident, A curse on her, A life sentence on her?

 

Q2. A woman is married. She goes out on some reasons. Meets some interesting stranger and ends up spending a night with the person in some sudden circumstances. It was only a momentary attraction; she never wanted to cheat her husband and badly wants to get back. How do you want her to be treated? She should be cursed and never be forgiven, She should be viewed like a bad example and insulted, She should be understood and be allowed to carry on with her life.  

 

Q3. There exists a woman who is married. The marriage initially was interesting, slowly became monotonous, suffocating, started liking another man. How do you want to treat it?

She cant set a bad example, have to continue with her previous life. She has made a mistake of thinking about another man so has to be thrown out and insulted. She is also a human being like a man, can have choices and should make her own choices.

 

 

Why these questions? Because they are some of the questions related to modern society? They are situations arising in this new/modern society, which we have reached after quite some struggle of lot of people (starting from Vivekananda). Can we call them as some progressive questions? One can pose many more such progressive questions, discuss, debate over have some healthy and interesting new understandings?

 

But why retrospection?

 

This is my biggest question? Why Retrospection?   Why support the following

 

1. Why Ridhima should marry on the basis of some damned photos, rape shouts followed by people speaking non sense.

 

2. Why should Ridhima stick on to Sid just on the basis of marriage, when she loves someone else?

 

3. Why can't Ridhima get lost into eyes of Arman?

 

 

This is where I am unhappy with DMG and more so am not so happy with the views expressed in this forum. As I pointed out before, we are majorly girls here and don't you all think we should support more progression than retrospection. Why dont we support our views using retrospection?

 

But wait a second, things are not as portrayed above

 

Regarding Point 1: Yes, unfortunately it is shown that she married on this basis. Wait a sec, not completely, she thought of ending her life and not marrying. So, why talk about social pressure here. Why attribute it to social pressure here.  I personally would have liked the marriage to happen in the following basis,

Rhidhima was diseased at that point (yes it definitely is a psychological disorder). She is in a complete state of depression at that point of time and Shashank as a father felt that having support of a willing and understanding person like Sid can bring her out of it.  What better way than getting married to that understanding, caring person. If you see this is an age old technique and really works well. Because sticking on to something invisible is more of a myth and moving on to something visible and promising is a reality.

 

Regarding Point 2: Is she really doing it that way? Please question your self.  She has seen an interesting future with Sid and is trying to move on. She has not yet moved on completely and is just on the verge of doing it.  Hence she is not easily willing to go back to Arman. Then why attribute it to social pressure.   Just imagine, if Arman has returned after another week, Sid Ridhima would have met in Pune and would have moved ahead with their marriage and that too willingly?

 

Regarding Point 3: What is wrong with it? This is one person whom she has loved like any thing once upon a time and wanted to spend the rest of her time with.  If he returns after a long time, why should she not get pulled towards him? Why talk about social pressures here? Why not talk about progressive views. It is not adultery.  It definitely is not. It is a struggle of a person between what she wants, as right now she has not yet made a choice.  Think in this way: Train A is very convenient for you, you love train journey. You don't get reservation. Make arrangement with some group going to the same destiny in car. Try to see that though the car journey is uncomfortable, the new company is interesting. Suddenly before the journey, you come to know, that you can get Train A tickets. Then you need to make the choice. Why can't we think in that direction? I know Ridhima's situation is much more complicated. But why do we want to attribute Social pressure to it. Why cant it be progressive, that is why can't she make a choice?  Let me tell you here, I Love Sid for helping her out in this way. He really is progressive here.  Why to keep bothering about why should Ridhima look into Arman's eyes? Or Why should Ridhima fall in mud with Arman or what not ? Why not ? Why she can't reciprocate/react to the situations freely and make a choice?

 

 

The point of this long post is "Why we can't think progressively? Why we want to take the help of social pressures to bind our thoughts? Why can't we see this situation in a new light? Why keep making references to social pressures, which we really want to  keep behind and move ahead? Why don't we all think different?" It is my sincere request to all "please never take the help of these social pressures and try to think differently" for any situation or for any favourism.   You are all mostly young girls, who are going to make a big difference to the generations ahead. So, again my sincere request, "Please leave behind social pressures, think progressively" I would be extremely happy if at least a few of you understand me.

 

Please feel free to discuss, but do it with open mind.

 

 

Regarding my views on Sid-Ridz situation please see my earlier post (probably only SR fans will like it)

 

http://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1386461

 

Here I also tried to bring in the point that when a person is going through a second relationship, after a serious relationship, the person often tries to compare the two persons and makes wrong judgments. I feel this is a new and interesting angle.



Edited by kvva - 04 May 2010 at 2:23am

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uppaas

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uppaas

Joined: 31 January 2006

Posts: 8436

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 2:10am | IP Logged
very very well written !!!!!!! Exactly we all should LIVE for PRogression .
I want SR to happen becoz R had a choice to walk out of her marriage she did not take it and wanted TO MOVE ON WITH SID  when she went to ponna.
Whereas her ex, if she is sooo madly in love with him she should tell him no-one is stopping her not even her dad .Shanky said if u decide i will stick by u. all this is not yr fault.
My point is if her love is soo great she should choose.
If she is confused then i feel she wants her marriage.
Tomm. she may get bk with A and think about Sid.
An ex coming bk is no justification of breaking yr marriage.
My pov........

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nyctophiliaTheBlackJaguar

TheBlackJaguar

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Posts: 47960

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 2:29am | IP Logged
RESERVED.Party

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uppaasnyctophilia

sun29

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sun29

Joined: 03 October 2006

Posts: 27135

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 2:36am | IP Logged
 
 
amazing post my dear...............beautifully send out an interesting piece of message..............riddhima has a freedom to walk out ..she had it from the day she got married..........and if at any point she feels this marriage is a mere obligation i suggest she frees siddanth of this social pressure and let him have a chance in life to be loved the way he loves............i seriously do not see the confusion here for riddhima............today she states that she wants to be independent ..be my guest but first unsolve the puzzle and confusion you have created in the minds of two living men not some toys........
 
secondly if riddhima does not want to go to armaan she needs to make it clear to armaan becasue he too deserves a second chance in life and not hold onto an illusion ..........
 
her father has stated he will stand by her decision ..she has no social pressure ,no emotional pressure but she is creating situations where she drags society and emotions into it.............this is not a 21st century woman nor is this a woman lamented by the curse of destiny...........she is lucky  to have such an understanding husband who is patient and kind and still waiting and hoping...
 
...the society we live in are not soo generous on a woman with a ex still struggling ..............they would have condemned her on social norms long back....
 
......marriage does not miraculously work..you have to make it work ,it requires patience and understanding to start with between two individuals then it becomes a sacred bond
 
at the end of the day it is riddhima's individual choice with whom she wants to be or does she want to be with anyone...........i would have taken her independent stand with respect had i not known her failings in the department of decison making and standing by it......


Edited by sun29 - 04 May 2010 at 2:40am

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Samrene

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Samrene

Joined: 24 January 2005

Posts: 4978

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 3:06am | IP Logged
great topic!!!
 
Originally posted by sun29

 
 
amazing post my dear...............beautifully send out an interesting piece of message..............riddhima has a freedom to walk out ..she had it from the day she got married..........and if at any point she feels this marriage is a mere obligation i suggest she frees siddanth of this social pressure and let him have a chance in life to be loved the way he loves............i seriously do not see the confusion here for riddhima............today she states that she wants to be independent ..be my guest but first unsolve the puzzle and confusion you have created in the minds of two living men not some toys........
 
secondly if riddhima does not want to go to armaan she needs to make it clear to armaan becasue he too deserves a second chance in life and not hold onto an illusion ..........
 
Clap the things is that ridhima ko bechari banne mein maza aa raha hai thats it
she loves to blame the two men for everything. she is so selfish donoun larkoun ko latka ker bethi hai she doesnt wanna let go of any of themDead

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uppaas

ssdtvgojan

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ssdtvgojan

Joined: 28 October 2008

Posts: 11105

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 4:25am | IP Logged
Loved the topic. Congrats on bring out a topic like this. This will clarify a lot of views on the SR relationship. Really liked the way how u have interperted the feelings of modern women. Also it is clearly shows that we all should be in Progression. Keep going....Thumbs Up
 
Also why i really liked SR is their story which brings the concept of having second chance in yr life and also Love is not something we can force on some one. Time plays a major factor in everyone's life and the circumstances around us make us to change our opinions on many things as time passby. I belived SR story is more of reality.
 
It also gives the freedom for the women to choose her choice. So Progression is the Perfect one here.
 
Again congrats for coming up with such a nice one.


Edited by ssdtvgojan - 04 May 2010 at 4:30am

kvva

Senior Member

kvva

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 385

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 4:43am | IP Logged
Thanks for the replies.

I just want to add that, I am not saying that DMG is showing all the things in a progressive way. They are just showing things more randomly and for the business sake.  But it would be great if we can can discuss things in the Progressive perspective.  My main point is that we can pull out the issues from the episodes shown and discuss progressively which can lead to some interesting discussions and interesting realizations.

I also would like to add that, Even if they want to show AR reunion, it can shown in a Progressive way. Why not, There is a woman who married a person under some circumstances, she is in the verge of falling for her husband. Her past returns, she is given the choice (which should be the way). They can also show her going back to Arman, but in a sensible and progressive way. 


PS : Thanks for the replies. I will reply individually to all the people as soon as possible.


Edited by kvva - 06 May 2010 at 1:53am

sakshiluvskaran

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sakshiluvskaran

Joined: 26 March 2009

Posts: 9668

Posted: 04 May 2010 at 5:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by kvva

Hi all,

 

From many days I have been thinking to write this. I heard this term 'Social Pressure' time and again and want to write about this.

 

I understand that we are majorly girls over here. Most of us are aware of the circumstances that many girls/women faced in this country days back or rather even facing currently.  They were not allowed to get educate, they were not allowed to speak up their mind and so on they basically did not have any choice. We have progressed from those days quite a lot.  But are the problem solved? Is a woman today as free as a man?

Can she get educated as she likes? Yes to a good extent, but if some woman wants some thing different she has to struggle.

Can she go out freely? Yes majority of the cases if it is to small outings like just to cinemas or parties etc, but if longer ventures has to take permissions, ensure safety conditions etc.

Can she choose a life partner? Yes in many cases, but still quite some struggle in cases.

 

These look fine so far.. Now lets move forward.

 

Can she choose where she is supposed to stay after marriage? Not in quite some cases if the  in-laws live in the same city. Live with in laws, adjust to their customs, their traditions more importantly their ways of living.  What about her dreams, her interests? Many a cases she needs to adjust. I believe in many cases others too adjust according to the person..... I am a staunch believer in the custom of marriage in case I love that person so u can adjust and others too...... a balanced adjustment can only make marriage work...... to connect it with dmg then I think there are lot of adjustment problems and lot of misunderstandings..... In a relationship you are growing to each other and there may be adjustment problems and misunderstandings but after marriage the couple should behave maturely which is missing here.....

 

Can she like some other man? No, definitely not. A man can escape it but it is highly unethical for a woman. I want like to ask the following questions in this regard, I believe infidelity on either part is a big crime and I am against it be it anything..... If u love some other person divorce each other and live with the other person..... In India woman do remarry.....

 

Q1. A woman is raped. How do you want to treat it? An accident, A curse on her, A life sentence on her? Its not her mistake...... but she and her family should do everything possible to get that person punishment

 

Q2. A woman is married. She goes out on some reasons. Meets some interesting stranger and ends up spending a night with the person in some sudden circumstances. It was only a momentary attraction; she never wanted to cheat her husband and badly wants to get back. How do you want her to be treated? She should be cursed and never be forgiven, She should be viewed like a bad example and insulted, She should be understood and be allowed to carry on with her life.  U have read Man, Woman and Child...... in this man goes out meets some girl and then comes back.....girl gets pregnant and its first and last time he does this thing.... Man's wife asks same thing....... What if I did this....... I believe honesty is the foundation of a relationship and a mistake can ruin ur life...... so controlling ur emotions is the rite thing

 

Q3. There exists a woman who is married. The marriage initially was interesting, slowly became monotonous, suffocating, started liking another man. How do you want to treat it? Oh ok a grave question...... If they have children then be it man or woman should think 100 times before taking a decision

She cant set a bad example, have to continue with her previous life. She has made a mistake of thinking about another man so has to be thrown out and insulted. She is also a human being like a man, can have choices and should make her own choices.

 

 

Why these questions? Because they are some of the questions related to modern society? They are situations arising in this new/modern society, which we have reached after quite some struggle of lot of people (starting from Vivekananda). Can we call them as some progressive questions? One can pose many more such progressive questions, discuss, debate over have some healthy and interesting new understandings?

 

But why retrospection?

 

This is my biggest question? Why Retrospection?   Why support the following

 

1. Why Ridhima should marry on the basis of some damned photos, rape shouts followed by people speaking non sense. i agree but it was the insult of her parents that she had to succumb to that but I believe she should have fought for her right and they should have thrown out Madam Stella......

 

2. Why should Ridhima stick on to Sid just on the basis of marriage, when she loves someone else? She should not i believe......if she loves armaan divorce Sid but I think she is confused herself.......

 

3. Why can't Ridhima get lost into eyes of Arman? she can but anything beyond this should happen after divorce........ I believe this would be really devastating for armaan if something happens inadvertently and then she gives 7 months to her marriage.... Why give false hopes to anyone

 

 

This is where I am unhappy with DMG and more so am not so happy with the views expressed in this forum. As I pointed out before, we are majorly girls here and don't you all think we should support more progression than retrospection. Why dont we support our views using retrospection?

 

But wait a second, things are not as portrayed above

 

Regarding Point 1: Yes, unfortunately it is shown that she married on this basis. Wait a sec, not completely, she thought of ending her life and not marrying. So, why talk about social pressure here. Why attribute it to social pressure here.  I personally would have liked the marriage to happen in the following basis,

Rhidhima was diseased at that point (yes it definitely is a psychological disorder). She is in a complete state of depression at that point of time and Shashank as a father felt that having support of a willing and understanding person like Sid can bring her out of it.  What better way than getting married to that understanding, caring person. If you see this is an age old technique and really works well. Because sticking on to something invisible is more of a myth and moving on to something visible and promising is a reality. Cvs have shown this marriage thingy in a wrong way....they could have shown the depth in their marriage which is definitely missing rite now

 

Regarding Point 2: Is she really doing it that way? Please question your self.  She has seen an interesting future with Sid and is trying to move on. She has not yet moved on completely and is just on the verge of doing it.  Hence she is not easily willing to go back to Arman. Then why attribute it to social pressure.   Just imagine, if Arman has returned after another week, Sid Ridhima would have met in Pune and would have moved ahead with their marriage and that too willingly? Ridz is succumbing to social pressure by living with sid and she divorced him only when sid sent her papers...... She things that Indian woman can't break their marriage.... There is no such rule in India or other places.... Muslim woman too have a right to khula...... So why not divorce and just move on with the person u love rather than doing eye-locks with him and giving him false hopes

 

Regarding Point 3: What is wrong with it? This is one person whom she has loved like any thing once upon a time and wanted to spend the rest of her time with.  If he returns after a long time, why should she not get pulled towards him? Why talk about social pressures here? Why not talk about progressive views. It is not adultery.  It definitely is not. It is a struggle of a person between what she wants, as right now she has not yet made a choice.  Think in this way: Train A is very convenient for you, you love train journey. You don't get reservation. Make arrangement with some group going to the same destiny in car. Try to see that though the car journey is uncomfortable, the new company is interesting. Suddenly before the journey, you come to know, that you can get Train A tickets. Then you need to make the choice. Why can't we think in that direction? I know Ridhima's situation is much more complicated. But why do we want to attribute Social pressure to it. Why cant it be progressive, that is why can't she make a choice?  Let me tell you here, I Love Sid for helping her out in this way. He really is progressive here.  Why to keep bothering about why should Ridhima look into Arman's eyes? Or Why should Ridhima fall in mud with Arman or what not ? Why not ? Why she can't reciprocate/react to the situations freely and make a choice?

 i agree dear but reciprocating ur feelings this way might devastate other person who has just been outta a mental disorder...... If she has right to reciprocate her feelings then she should reciprocate in a way that would not hurt other person....... She can not just traumatize everyone...... Ridz is the most confused character and I believe she does not deserve at least Armaan's love..... I am ok with Sid-Ridz..... I am dead bored of this.... I want armaan to get a better person to love not a character like Riddhima....... I am sorry If i hurt someone

 

The point of this long post is "Why we can't think progressively? Why we want to take the help of social pressures to bind our thoughts? Why can't we see this situation in a new light? Why keep making references to social pressures, which we really want to  keep behind and move ahead? Why don't we all think different?" It is my sincere request to all "please never take the help of these social pressures and try to think differently" for any situation or for any favourism.   You are all mostly young girls, who are going to make a big difference to the generations ahead. So, again my sincere request, "Please leave behind social pressures, think progressively" I would be extremely happy if at least a few of you understand me.

 

Please feel free to discuss, but do it with open mind.

 

 

Regarding my views on Sid-Ridz situation please see my earlier post (probably only SR fans will like it)

 

http://india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1386461

 

Here I also tried to bring in the point that when a person is going through a second relationship, after a serious relationship, the person often tries to compare the two persons and makes wrong judgments. I feel this is a new and interesting angle.

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