New DMG FF: No title yet [NOTE on Page 4!!!]

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*believeinlove*

Senior Member

Joined: 24 December 2007

Posts: 409

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 4:29am | IP Logged

Hey people! I'm starting a new FF after being away for so long. I couldn't continue my other 2 because I hadn't looked at them for years and now I've run out of ideas for them. Please do take a moment to comment after reading this part, I want to know what you liked/disliked about it so that I can improve it.

I'm quite upset that there have been so many views but no comments for my FF. Silent readers, please I urge you to comment! It really encourages me! My continuing of this FF relies on effective comments and feedback! Thanks in advance for commenting!

Part 1

She sat in her room alone, looking out of the window. And she felt exactly that, alone. She wondered when she'd find her true friend or someone who'd truly care about her and her feelings. Ever since all her friends fell into relationships, she'd been feeling this way.

'Noone has time for me anymore' she thought, 'they're all busy with their own lives and relationships. I feel more alone than ever.'

She couldn't even talk to her family because she was at university, living far, far away from home.

She decided that she wasn't doing anything productive in her room, so she left to go onto campus with her tote bag and an umbrella in her hand, just in case of impromptu rain.

She was a very simple girl, she didn't wear any makeup. Her dark brown wavy hair fell to her waist and she wore simple clothes with style, a tunic top which reached mid-thigh, greyish leggings which gathered around her ankles, a casual "boyfriend" blazer, and black canvas pumps.

'Boyfriend blazer' she thought, 'how ironic. Buying myself a boyfriend blazer' she rolled her eyes at herself and continued walking confidently towards the library.

Before she knew it, she had spotted a familiar face on campus and inwardly groaned knowing that she too had been noticed and wouldn't be able to continue unnoticed.

A boy jogged up to her saying

"Hey Ridz! It's been such a long time!" he said while giving her a friendly hug. "How are you?"

'Yeah what do you expect, you never bothered to stay in touch with me over the holidays' she thought to herself while gritting her teeth yet smiling sweetly.

She was surprised at herself at how bitter she had become. She never used to be like this, in fact she was the nicest, most genuine, trustworthy and straightforward girl anyone knew. Yet this had been taken advantage of, and had she changed. Not majorly, not enough for other people to notice, 'not that they'd have noticed otherwise' she said to herself, just slightly, enough for her to know she had changed.

"Hey Rahul!" she replied, "I'm fine thanks, how are you?"

She kept her tone nice and formal yet with a hint of friendliness. Yet, as expected, this went unnoticed by him.

"Where are you off to Ridz?"

"Umm, I'm just heading to the library, for a change of scene"

"Oh right, I'm just going to grab some lunch. Wanna join me?"

"No it's okay, I've already had a bite to eat", she lied, and it had the desired effect.

"Oh okay, no worries. Well I'll be back in the library after I've eaten so gimme a buzz if you want a break okay?"

"Ya sure" she lied again.

They continued their separate ways. She had to admit, she did feel a bit bad for acting the way she did. 'But it's not like he noticed, right?' she reassured herself.

So there's part 1. Since you've taken the time to read the part, please do spare another moment or two in commenting! I would appreciate it so much!

If you have any suggestions for the title, please let me know! Also if there any mistakes, please do tell me!

Thanks!

*~Radz~*

Edited by *believeinlove* - 10 May 2010 at 2:12pm

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IsabellaCullen

IF-Dazzler

Joined: 24 December 2007

Posts: 3952

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 6:22am | IP Logged

A delight to read! A simple and sweet part, which I really liked!

I'd like u to "improve" by writing long parts! LOL

Put my name on top in ur PM list!

~Sonali

*believeinlove*

Senior Member

Joined: 24 December 2007

Posts: 409

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 6:27am | IP Logged

Originally posted by Sonalihutifan

A delight to read! A simple and sweet part, which I really liked!

I'd like u to "improve" by writing long parts! LOL

Put my name on top in ur PM list!

~Sonali

Thank you sooo much!! You have no idea how happy I am that I finally have a comment to read and reply to!!
Thank you for your feedback Sonali! I really appreciate it!
Wow my first reader of this FF! It's so exciting!
Hahaha cheeky improvement suggestion!
I will definitely let you know when I update!
Love
*~Radz~*

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

vruls,

sasya

Senior Member

Joined: 10 March 2008

Posts: 558

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 8:07am | IP Logged

the starting was interesting,would love to read more.continue soon.........
if u can, let me know when u update the part.

*believeinlove*

Senior Member

Joined: 24 December 2007

Posts: 409

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 8:15am | IP Logged

Originally posted by sasya

the starting was interesting,would love to read more.continue soon.........
if u can, let me know when u update the part.

Thank you for your comment!
I will let you know when I update the part!
Thanks again!
*~Radz~*

mkp1995

Senior Member

Joined: 28 March 2009

Posts: 435

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 9:29am | IP Logged

hey this sounds like a really interesting FF plz do pm me thanx
p.s.- update soon - misha

.SmokinSanz.

IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 05 November 2007

Posts: 44183

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 9:31am | IP Logged

nice part

plz add me to ur pm list

*believeinlove*

Senior Member

Joined: 24 December 2007

Posts: 409

Posted: 02 May 2010 at 9:37am | IP Logged

Originally posted by mkp1995

hey this sounds like a really interesting FF plz do pm me thanx
p.s.- update soon - misha

Thank you for your comment! I will let you know when I update!

Originally posted by kashndsel4eva

nice part

plz add me to ur pm list

Thank you for your comment! I will let you know when I update!

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New DMG FF: No title yet [NOTE on Page 4!!!]

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