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Leave parents for your LOVE!? (Page 6)

Poll Question: Do you leave parents for LOVE

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return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by karandel_2008

We dont have any choice or any say in getting born. Neither do we have any say or much choice to die.

At least, let us choose our partner with whom we will spend perhaps our 40-50 yrs of life. Its not parents life, but its our life thus we should have a final say - either by agreeing or by disagreeing.


But to argue as a counterpoint we could say, we dont have any choice or any say in getting born. Neither do we have any say or much choice to die. Why the heck do we need choices in between?

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*Woh Ajnabee*

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Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:19pm | IP Logged
Parents bring you into this world, raise you, protect you, care for you, make so many decisions on your behalf for you ... they definitely have your best interests in mind. We should definitely not forget that. Now does that mean that you owe them and must succumb to their every demand at all times regardless of the situation --- absolutely not. But listen to them, see where they are coming from. If they are saying no to something or someone, try to understand why and explain your side to them. Its a lot harder than just yelling at each other, but it is definitely much more effective. Of course, it won't always work. And that's when you have to make your own decision ... like really sit down and think who you're willing to give up and why. In the end, whatever decision you make, remember that you're going to have to live by it - right or wrong.

Personally, I don't think I could ever hurt my parents that way. And therefore, I'd never commit to anyone without being a 100% sure that my parents would approve. If I did and opted out of the situation later, well that wouldn't be fair to either of them. On the other hand, if I well in love with someone who's parents did not approve of me, I wouldn't want him to give up his parents for me. And I would leave without compelling him to make that crucial decision. Its not fair --- to him or to parents to have to give each other up for a third person. Its not about being sacrificial, its about understanding and respecting the bond between a parent and a child. You have to look at the situation from both sides ... it isn't easy for either party involved. So, moral of the story - think twice before you fall in love. ;)

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by debayon

Hmm, your parents who have given you unconditional love and have given birth to you, endured pain, suffering, hunger and sometimes even humiliation for you, have shown you the right path vs. your lover, who has given you support for a limited time only, has not necessarily done anything to make you really indebted to that person, the only thing is the mental and physical attraction. Unless you're of the DDLJ type, I don't think anyone in their sane minds would even thing of such a thing.


Parents have their important place in our lives. But there will come a time when parents pass on. Someday you have to choose someone to spend the rest of your life with, choose the person you want to start your own family with (of course marriage or relationships or love is not mandatory and avoiding it all makes life perfectLOL). It maybe for a limited time now, but love can have potential to last a life time. It is not merely attraction of sorts, but it is mutual, trust , respect and desire to live a life together. I'm not talking about cheesy DDLJ romances or the sappy stuff. Its a mix of emotions as well as practical stuff real life is built on. Sometimes parents may not really grasp what you need for the rest of your life. They could reject someone who could actually have been good for you. They can be right, they can be wrong. So when time comes people really have to weigh all options and make a decision with their best judgment.

karandel_2008

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karandel_2008

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Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by karandel_2008

We dont have any choice or any say in getting born. Neither do we have any say or much choice to die.

At least, let us choose our partner with whom we will spend perhaps our 40-50 yrs of life. Its not parents life, but its our life thus we should have a final say - either by agreeing or by disagreeing.


But to argue as a counterpoint we could say, we dont have any choice or any say in getting born. Neither do we have any say or much choice to die. Why the heck do we need choices in between?


We can say that if we value freedom then we should provide it whenever possible. The argument of birth and death was to emphasize the point that out of some very important phases in life, we have only a few stages where we can provide freedom.

return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:34pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


Personally, I don't think I could ever hurt my parents that way. And therefore, I'd never commit to anyone without being a 100% sure that my parents would approve. If I did and opted out of the situation later, well that wouldn't be fair to either of them. On the other hand, if I well in love with someone who's parents did not approve of me, I wouldn't want him to give up his parents for me. And I would leave without compelling him to make that crucial decision. Its not fair --- to him or to parents to have to give each other up for a third person. Its not about being sacrificial, its about understanding and respecting the bond between a parent and a child. You have to look at the situation from both sides ... it isn't easy for either party involved.


See but won't that be unfair to him. You have taken a crucial personal life choice away from him and are making the decision for him.  You could actually end up tearing the family even more apart - because he could end up blaming them for his loss. Sometimes parents do warm up and accept everything after all is said and done.

Sometimes walking away may be the best decision, but it should not be the hard and fast option. And I think the person you love should be allowed to have a say - for its their life too.

Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


 So, moral of the story - think twice before you fall in love. ;)


And what use jedi mind powers to smash that brick the skies have thrown right at your head? LOL

karandel_2008

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karandel_2008

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Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:36pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by debayon

Originally posted by karandel_2008

We dont have any choice or any say in getting born. Neither do we have any say or much choice to die.

At least, let us choose our partner with whom we will spend perhaps our 40-50 yrs of life. Its not parents life, but its our life thus we should have a final say - either by agreeing or by disagreeing.
And if your parents don't approve of the relationship, you will forget them?


To add:

I might listen to them if their point is logical, but if the point is some backward thinking like caste etc then I will tell them that I am sorry and they are wrong.

Even in Mahabharat, one had to fight against siblings, people like parents such as Bhism and teachers - just for truth.

Summer3

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Summer3

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Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by karandel_2008

Originally posted by debayon

Originally posted by karandel_2008

We dont have any choice or any say in getting born. Neither do we have any say or much choice to die.

At least, let us choose our partner with whom we will spend perhaps our 40-50 yrs of life. Its not parents life, but its our life thus we should have a final say - either by agreeing or by disagreeing.
And if your parents don't approve of the relationship, you will forget them?


To add:

I might listen to them if their point is logical, but if the point is some backward thinking like caste etc then I will tell them that I am sorry and they are wrong.

Even in Mahabharat, one had to fight against siblings, people like parents such as Bhism and teachers - just for truth.

Karan ji are u planning to elope ?
kya chal raha hai ? kiski pyar mein doop gayi ?
 
I think there is no need to leave the parents but they should come to an amicable solution. Parents are generally very protective but they are also quite sensible these days.
 

*Woh Ajnabee*

IF-Sizzlerz

*Woh Ajnabee*

Joined: 15 September 2007

Posts: 22616

Posted: 28 April 2010 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


Personally, I don't think I could ever hurt my parents that way. And therefore, I'd never commit to anyone without being a 100% sure that my parents would approve. If I did and opted out of the situation later, well that wouldn't be fair to either of them. On the other hand, if I well in love with someone who's parents did not approve of me, I wouldn't want him to give up his parents for me. And I would leave without compelling him to make that crucial decision. Its not fair --- to him or to parents to have to give each other up for a third person. Its not about being sacrificial, its about understanding and respecting the bond between a parent and a child. You have to look at the situation from both sides ... it isn't easy for either party involved.


See but won't that be unfair to him. You have taken a crucial personal life choice away from him and are making the decision for him.  You could actually end up tearing the family even more apart - because he could end up blaming them for his loss. Sometimes parents do warm up and accept everything after all is said and done.

Sometimes walking away may be the best decision, but it should not be the hard and fast option. And I think the person you love should be allowed to have a say - for its their life too.


Perhaps, I'd be making the decision for him, but with his best interest in mind. As cheesy as this sounds, I'd wait for him and for his parents. What good is love if it doesn't come with a little sacrifice? I think some time away from him would also help him realize what he really wants. In the end, either way, if we were meant to be ... we will be.

As far as parents warming up and accepting everything after all is said and done goes, they don't have a choice at that point. If he marries me against their wishes, they'd have no choice but to accept me ... it is not a matter of warming up at that point, it comes down to whether or not they want their son to stay or leave.

Obviously walking away does not entail a quiet Bollywood exit which would compel him to search any and all airports/train stations/taxis for me. LOL It would be a well thought-out and thoroughly discussed decision. It wouldn't be fair for me to walk out either because at this point, its not just about you.

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