Writers Corner

   

Perfect - Short Story - pg.2 last part (Page 2)

Post Reply New Post

Page 2 of 4

Page 1
Page   of 4
Page 3 Page 4

Girl_2007

IF-Rockerz

Girl_2007

Joined: 25 November 2007

Posts: 5755

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 10:59am | IP Logged
haha u portrayed nicely this guy's perfection =) but if he's sooo perfect, why does his wife hate him? for loving him?.. lol, or maybe some past thing that happened between em before, who knows... ^^ (r u gonna tell us soon btw?)
and... ah, the waitresses scene sounds to me sooo familiar XP but anyhow there's always some small ruckus related to waitresses while talking about hot men... XP i guess the poor girls r just too bored of their "monotonous" work, so any little thing makes it more exciting


Edited by Girl_2007 - 19 April 2010 at 11:00am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-bhootni-

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "Perfect - Short Story - pg.2 last part (Page 2)" in Writers Corner forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

Drishti...

IF-Rockerz

Drishti...

Joined: 20 June 2009

Posts: 5325

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 12:55pm | IP Logged
hey it was rlly nice.!...the guy is considered to be perfect but his wife doesnt even want to stay with him...lol y is tat?...curiously waiting for the next part...do update soon
drishti :)

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-bhootni-

-bhootni-

IF-Sizzlerz

-bhootni-

Joined: 19 July 2005

Posts: 23243

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 2:35pm | IP Logged

Last Part

He was back at the office again, pretending to be highly engrossed in the new design layout, but only he knew what he was really upto. The rival maganize had an article on maritial woes, but he couldn't help thinking that they had missed out on something important.
 
What will you call a marriage based on compromise? Compulsion to marry who you harmed...compulsion to marry the one who harmed you...
 
Before leaving for work, he had heard his mom  speaking to her...asking her how she was. He loitered around for few minutes behind the closed doors of his parents' room...eavesdropping on the conversation. But not once in those fifteen minutes did his mother ask her to come back.
 
He wasn't jealous or hurt...but just wished that somebody would understand him. The oblivious ones couldn't look at him beyond his perfection....and the ones who knew...wouldn't stop blaming him.
 
She was yelling again, asking her attacker to let go of her. To quieten her, he pressed his palm against her mouth and continued to perform the act of desire.
 
When Amir came back to consciousness, he felt a figure slipping on the bed beside him. He didn't need to turn on the lights to know who was resting beside him. He could feel the figure move as far toward the edge of the bed as she could and then curl herself into a ball. He wanted to tell her it's okay...but he knew better than to open his mouth. The world was asleep...let her rest in peace as well!
 
The next morning when he woke up, the figure was gone...for few minutes he continued to lay on his bed...contemplating if last night was a frigment of his imagination. Maybe it was...since it wasn't the first time he had imagined her.
 
He got out of the bed and walked toward the washroom..but once there he could hear the shower running and rightly concluded that she was here...Shona was back!
 
She didn't look at him even once when they sat across from each other on the dining table with the rest of the family. As usual, no one was talking...it was pin dropped silence...for some reason he remembered his school teachers telling them to be quiet just like that. Those were some memories of his past that he wanted to cherish...and there were others that he just wanted to erase from his mind...forever...
 
He kept thinking about her all day at the office...many times he would pick up the phone to call her...but everytime he would talk himself out of it.
 
"Hey, perfect dude! C'mon let's go! I came to pick you up for lunch!" Rahul barged into the cabin without knocking.
 
But that's not what made Amir's blood boil...but that word...PERFECT
 
"Earth to Mr. Perfection, let's go!" Rahul waved his hand in front of Amir's face but quickly moved back with a sudden movement from Amir.
 
"Why the hell do you keep calling me perfect?" Amir got up from his chair in anger and looked at Rahul as if he was about to murder him.
 
"Dude, what's wrong with you?"
 
Amir did not answer him but rather walked out of his cabin as Rahul continued to call after him.
 
***************************************************************
 
There was no one in the park...it was almost midnight anyways...but he still chose to come here. Darkness and lonliness reminded Amir of what his life had become in the last year. Once even he was an ambitious young photographer...working for a magazine that he thought was perfect for him. There was a time when he loved to be perfect...but he wasn't that...that...word...anymore. He was a man covered in dirt...a filthy disgusting man!
 
***************************************************************
 
"Dude, you just walked out on me yesterday...what's wrong?" Rahul ran up to Amir to join him for his usual morning run.
 
"Sorry...I...wasn't feeling too well!" Amir briefly gave Rahul an apologetic look before looking away.
 
"Hey, Amir...I've been noticing that you aren't being yourself lately! You know you can talk to me, buds!"
 
Amir did not say anything but simply gave Rahul another brief look before turning away.
 
"I heard that Shona's back...I thought you would be quite happy about it! You both were so happy at your wedding!"
 
"Things are not always what they seem!"
 
"Oh, so that's the matter! Mr. Perfect had a fight with his wife!"
 
"Will you stop calling me perfect!?"
 
"C'mon dude, just because you had a fight...it does not dimish your perfectness!" Rahul's intention was a tease but it ended up hitting the wrong spot.
 
"I AM NOT PERFECT!" Amir came to a sudden halt
 
"Dude, it's just a fight!"
 
"It's not just a fight...it is a punishment...for a mistake that I did!"
 
"Oh, well what did you do? Kissed her wrong or something, Mr. Perfect?" Rahul continued to tease...failing to understand the seriousness
 
"You wouldn't understand!" Amir started to walk away looking dejected
 
"C'mon dude, I always have fights with Anjali...what could you have done worse?"
 
Amir turned around and gave a sad smirk...
 
"Have you ever raped a girl?" Rahul eyes widen in shock "I raped her...I raped Shona!"
 
Flashback
 
"Leave me! Let me go! What's wrong with you Amir?" she was struggling to get him off of her, but was failing miserably
 
He didn't know what took over him...he didn't even realize what he was doing...until he was done. When he came back to his senses, he saw her lying there...curled up in a ball. She wasn't crying or sobbing even...she was just lying there...emotionless
 
End of Flashback
 
He walked away from a shocked Rahul and sat on a bench...remembering how he had gone to both their parents and admitted what he had done. He could have kept his mouth shut...and would have told her to do the same...but he didn't. They were forced into a relationship of marriage within a month. For the past one year, he had been trying to live with the guilt of raping her...living with a girl who pretended to be happy and strong but every night he would feel her curling up in a shape of a ball...just lying there...emotionless.
 
He wasn't perfect...he was a coward...just a mere coward!


Edited by -bhootni- - 19 April 2010 at 4:49pm

The following 11 member(s) liked the above post:

Monika__29..KaJenDelena..Escapistflamingo_ariesCoffeeAddictiqbals4everilive2laughAntaresSofnaaish_punkanjananazir

Antares

IF-Rockerz

Antares

Joined: 02 December 2009

Posts: 6378

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
Nice one! Quite a tragic one........that Mr. Perfect raped her......and that's the reason they had to get married......obviously his wife would hate him......ugh......am hating him.....though its just a fiction......but you have portrayed it all so well......their feelings and all........and now that creep is feeling guilty for his actions........is he in love with her....or just being sympathetic.....whatever.....all in all a great short story...it was so poignant!


Edited by Starry_night - 19 April 2010 at 2:52pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-bhootni-

-bhootni-

IF-Sizzlerz

-bhootni-

Joined: 19 July 2005

Posts: 23243

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aish_punk

hey sumi di..sweet story..
 
that guy seems just so perfect!..people of all age like him :P..but too bad he's married!..n they don't exactly have a strong bond..is his wife crazy?..the other girls are swooning over him!..
 
thnx 4 d pm
update soon
 
-aish
 
 
thanks for reading it aish! lol you'll see what's wrong with his wife in the next part :P
 
Originally posted by Starry_night

That was really good! A so-called perfect guy.......whose wife doesn't want to stay with him....as of now that's all I understood.....lolz.......now continue soon!Big smile

And woman, update your ff if you are not studying.....don't make me whack you.....or go and write some one-shots on YuNa!TongueLOLLOL
 
lol i'll update those too don't worry :P....thanks!!
 
Originally posted by flamingo_aries

lol....sumi update this soon............varna me whacking u wid ur own lamps.....y u always end up in mystery..??? btw gud chapter....wanna more...
 
thanks maitz!! lol cus I love mysteries :P
 
Originally posted by Sofna

Continue....cntinue.....Thumbs Up
 
N do rmmbr to cont the previous ones aswell LOL
 
lol I remember the previous ones don't worry :P
 
Originally posted by Girl_2007

haha u portrayed nicely this guy's perfection =) but if he's sooo perfect, why does his wife hate him? for loving him?.. lol, or maybe some past thing that happened between em before, who knows... ^^ (r u gonna tell us soon btw?)
and... ah, the waitresses scene sounds to me sooo familiar XP but anyhow there's always some small ruckus related to waitresses while talking about hot men... XP i guess the poor girls r just too bored of their "monotonous" work, so any little thing makes it more exciting
 
lol I think all the waitresses are the same...it's cliche I guess! thanks! lol you'll find out why she hates him :P
 
Originally posted by Drishti...

hey it was rlly nice.!...the guy is considered to be perfect but his wife doesnt even want to stay with him...lol y is tat?...curiously waiting for the next part...do update soon
drishti :)
 
lol well nothing is perfect right :P thanks for reading it!

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

flamingo_ariesAntaresaish_punkSofna

Drishti...

IF-Rockerz

Drishti...

Joined: 20 June 2009

Posts: 5325

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
oh  god.!! it was soooo nice...sooooo emotional..i felt like crying for shona...so the reason she was angry with him was tat he raped her and then was forced into a marriage with him..tats sooo sad...
the update is rlly good...u potrayed the emotions soo well
thnku sooo much...and for the pm also :)

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-bhootni-

Drishti...

IF-Rockerz

Drishti...

Joined: 20 June 2009

Posts: 5325

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Drishti...

hey it was rlly nice.!...the guy is considered to be perfect but his wife doesnt even want to stay with him...lol y is tat?...curiously waiting for the next part...do update soon
drishti :)
 
lol well nothing is perfect right :P thanks for reading it!
[/QUOTE]
yaa ure right Smile
ure most welcome...but it was worth it so need to say thnks Smile Smile

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-bhootni-

anjananazir

IF-Stunnerz

anjananazir

Joined: 01 May 2006

Posts: 49491

Posted: 19 April 2010 at 3:05pm | IP Logged
Loved it sumiiiClap...cont soonTongue

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-bhootni-

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
Short story : A Note at the End

2 3

..-..Riya..-.. 16 1608 23 October 2010 at 3:10pm
By Akankshaa.
Debby's Store of This & That:Getting Married|Pg 12

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 13 14

debby 108 5640 20 October 2010 at 10:37pm
By debby
Rosy Cheeks... a Short Story

2 3 4

chhilt 24 1604 21 June 2010 at 9:05am
By chhilt
While The Wind Howled (Short Story) Plz comment!=D MegaAngelzs 2 425 25 March 2010 at 9:26am
By MegaAngelzs
Looking for a short story in gothic genere shonaveer 1 408 18 February 2010 at 11:20am
By Girl_2007

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Writers Corner Topic Index

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.