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15/4 : Sid-Riddz-Armaan:The heart bleeds.

TheBlackJaguar IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 15 January 2005
Posts: 47914

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:08pm | IP Logged

Armaan's thoughts :

I never wanted to hurt you, Riddhima.... just as I never wanted to hurt Sid. It is not that me and Sid were trying to play ping-pong with you... if only i could explain it to you. All three of us stand in No Man's Land ... and... no... life cannot go on like this. One of us has to step back so that the other two can move on. What we had was beautiful and special and it always will be... we both will always love each-other in a strange fond soulful way but life is something else, Riddhima. You are married to Sid.... you are attached to him ... otherwise he wouldn't have been able to hurt you more than me. But he did. I know what this marriage means to you and i have seen with my eyes how committed you are to him....Today , when you ran away from the terrace sobbing, i lifted my feet to run after you but Sid... Sid and his pull towards you stopped me in my tracks. Instinctively, i knew it was right for him to go after you and not me. Sometimes, our soul within knows the right from wrong much better than us.....I stood frozen as he ran after you to console you. My tears are not stopping Riddhima .... but realization is setting in. You are Mrs.Riddhima Modi , and not the basket I came looking for. In a way , am sorry that i came back ... perhaps i spoiled everything - your life , Sid's life and my own life.... I know you were just beginning to move towards Sid and I came back.... stopping your rising heartbeats midway. I don't know how to make you feel better... how to return your new life to you... how to make you and Sid smile. I just don't know, Riddhima.I have never felt more helpless in my life..... never.....I want to make everything alright for you... and I will. I am going to return your new life to you....

Sid's thoughts:

You never listen to a single logical thing, Riddhima, do you? You never listen and understand why one is doing what? You never say things that you should and when one tries to say them for you , you behave like a brat....I wanted to to hug you , silence your sobs , wipe your tears when you misunderstood what me and Armaan were trying to do. No, we don't think you are a puppet and we never meant to hurt you. We were just trying to do the right thing, Riddhima.... anything that would make you happy.The problem is that you have never told me where your happiness is... you have only told me where your obligations and duties are.And life does not and cannot run like that , sweetz. It broke my heart to even think that i could have hurt you enough to make you cry and think of yourself as some puppet- the strange pull towards you brought me after you and I knew no rest until you stopped and listened to me. I had to speak to you , even if it meant chasing you around corridors or getting spanked by you. I just couldn't leave you like that.... perhaps i love you, Riddhima but i avoid thinking about my feelings for you. The bleeding starts all over again and i hate it. Whenever i ask you to make a choice , you give me two standard answers - Sid , I am married to you. Sid , you are my present. No, Riddhima. That is not done at all. You should be where your happiness is and your happiness is where your heart is. I  know you feel like whacking me when i keep asking you about your feelings for Armaan - but i want you to face the truth, whatever it is. I want you to be with me because you want to be with me , not because you are Mrs. Riddhima Siddhanth Modi. Today , it moved my heart when you said in a pained tone - "Aise alag karna chaahte ho mujhe khud se.".....No. I don't want to let go of you Riddhima but i have to set your flight to freedom. You don't love me and i have no hopes that you ever will love me. You will not leave me , so i must do something....and I will.

Riddhima's thoughts:

How am i ever going to explain to Sid and Armaan that when one moves from the past to the present , the person keeps the past in his/her heart as a fond sensitive precious memory and always loves it - and the same person opens his/her arms to the present , learns to love it and blindly gives his/her hand to it in the hope that they will walk towards a beautiful future together. Life has not been easy at all - I never thought i'd lose Armaan .... and i had never thought i'd get Sid. What choice is Sid asking me to make when i don't want a choice. Sid , you know how special you are to me and i myself have no answer to the feelings that i have for you. i could fall in love with you any given day. But you are not making things easy for me. Armaan is the most beautiful wound of life whom you healed with hope and affection. Then, how can you not see that you pushing me towards Armaan , pricking me about my feelings for him only makes things more difficult for me? How can you not see that i need your support and our togetherness right now instead of your questions? How can you not see that Armaan will always be the summer field where i learned to love but you are the spring field where i learned to forget the autumn and pick flowers again? Don't compare yourself with Armaan and don't think about what i feel about him. I am transiting between two lives and moving towards you - open your arms to me , don't create hurdles on the road that lead to your heart. Armaan will always be my shining star but it's you who is my guiding light. I  need your  arms right now , not your pointing fingers and pricky questions. Heal my wounds , don't poke fingers into them. Tell me once again that you are going to hug me and shield me from the biting winter. Armaan , it aches my heart everytime i see you - you know that i will always love you in a soulful way and you will always be in my heart. We will always be connected - we have cried enough over what could have happened and what did not happen but we have learned to live with it as well.I have come a long way Armaan and we can no longer interlock our fingers but you will always be with me - as i walk ahead with Sid, i am keeping you in my heart as the man who taught my heart to beat - the heartbeats that Sid found again from where you left them. 

Today , Siddhanth reminded me of Vanraj from HDDCS and Rohit from KHNH - A man who dared to love a woman whose heart belonged elsewhere and hoped in patience that he will find a way into her heart and he did.

Today , Armaan reminded me of Sameer from HDDCS and Aman from KHNH - A man who had the courage and bravery to let go of the woman he loved with his life and was content that she found a man who would love her as much as he did.

Sadly , Riddhima has a long way to go before she can be compared to Nandini or Naina.

Love and luck to everyone always,Heart

GOD bless everyone

Edited by Pocahontas - 15 April 2010 at 4:38pm

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Perfangel5655 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 25 January 2008
Posts: 12858

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:10pm | IP Logged
lovely post. anxious to see what happens next

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-alimabi- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 August 2008
Posts: 12847

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
love yur post poco beautiful

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gimzy IF-Dazzler

Joined: 01 March 2006
Posts: 2889

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:26pm | IP Logged
Lovely post as usual, but so needed it today of all day, reading it as u explain things brings a peace of mind... it so well written as if all 3 are right here talking to us and explaining their part of the story

So thank you for such a wonderful post, a real big thank you  Hug

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rapunzel84 Goldie

Joined: 18 January 2010
Posts: 1787

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
Are u for real Poco?? Oh my god..i cant explain how beautifully you have captured the essence of all the three characters....LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT!!!

i so hope and pray tht the script writers take a look at this n shape the serial with your thoughts..they are so beautiful and make sure that nonoe is hurt...three words...TAKE A BOW!!! Clap

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TheBlackJaguar IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 15 January 2005
Posts: 47914

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by rapunzel84

Are u for real Poco?? Oh my god..i cant explain how beautifully you have captured the essence of all the three characters....LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT!!!

i so hope and pray tht the script writers take a look at this n shape the serial with your thoughts..they are so beautiful and make sure that nonoe is hurt...three words...TAKE A BOW!!! Clap

Yes, i am for real, sweetz.LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL... Tum mujhe bhoot samajhti ho kya?ShockedShockedShockedShockedShockedShockedShockedShockedShocked

I am glad i made sense .

sajni786 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 16 December 2008
Posts: 20903

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:48pm | IP Logged

Really amazing........Clap........

U have penned down the thots of each n every character so welllllllll........... couldnt have agreed more..........
Btw............I am just amazed at ur positivity of this track in relation to HDDCS Star

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Nymeria IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 March 2010
Posts: 12410

Posted: 15 April 2010 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
Word for Word Poco! you perfectly penned down the trio's thoughts!

aaaahhhh...i don't think anyone would ever want to be in their shoes right now!

btw....i'm too lazy to type the whole thing again so i'll copy-paste my take from SR AT!Big smile i hope you don't mindEmbarrassed

I feel bad for Armaan the most today!

You all might ask why?

Well because first he learnt of the truth in such a harsh way....and then he got blamed by Riddhima ...and now because of those "layak nahi" monologue from Riddhima, that man feels he is not worth RiddhimaDisapprove

Armaan has accepted the truth of Riddhima being Sid's wife and he has decided to move out....step away! He's so quick ! i love that!

His words from the precap about Riddhima being Sid's this birth but she will be his in other birth completely shows that he is not going to break the marriage.

Then why can't Sid take a step forward and just be with Riddhima...why can't he hold her hand?

Riddhima needs to feel that Sid is not her "sahara" but he has come to her life to give her "saath"!

there's a difference between being "sahara" to someone....and giving "saath" to someone!

excuse me of my error as i don't know hindi...but whatever i have learnt from indian movies and here......being "sahara" is being there "for" Riddhima BUT...giving "saath" means being WITH Riddhima!

Being WITH Riddhima is what Sid needs to do! Enough of being there "for" her! Sid needs to be "with" her and make her feel that he has accepted her despite her past and then i bet ya Riddhima will respond similarly! she  definitely has feelings for him....she just needs him to quit being there "for" her and start being "with" her!

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