Joined: 13 June 2005
Armaan was heartbroken. Today he felt more alone then he ever had. A pain was searing through his whole being...and a question haunted him - why did he survive? He thought she will be happy to see him, she will envelope him in her arms and protect him from the world...instead she left him out in the coldness of life without her.
He knew she would be upset, upset with him that he thought he was not good enough for her...but she was angry because she actually thought he was not good enough for her...and frankly Armaan thought she is right after all...if I ever meant anything to her she would not have...he could not even bear to recollect her words but life is cruel...those words defined his very existence now..."mujhe itna dukh tab bhi nahin hua jab Armaan wapas aa gaya tha..."
Was there any point now, any point at all? He could not imagine anything worth living anymore...his Riddhima was not his anymore...and without her he was not Armaan. Zindagi ajeeb hoti hai, thought Armaan, jab main jeena nahin chahta tha tab tumhari yaad ne mujhe sahara diya aur ab jab main sach mein jeena chahta hoon tab tum chahti ho ki main marr jaoon...
His bags were packed and he had just come to Sanjeevani to tell Dr. Kirti that he could not be here anymore...he could not, would not be the reason for Riddhima's pain anymore...
"Dr. Kirti, may I come in?"
Kirti looked up, it was Armaan...
"Yes, boliye Dr. Armaan"
Armaan entered her room and silently handed over his resignation letter to him, he could not even will himself to look in her eyes...
Kirti took the paper and read its contents...she was livid but she understood...it was difficult for him...
"Dr. Armaan...aap...aap jaante hain na ki hospital ka workload kitna badh gaya hai aur agar aap..."
"I am sorry Dr. Kirti par please main nahin ruk sakta, main nahin...main nahin seh sakta."
Kirti was taken aback...never had Armaan left himself so bare infront of her...so this was what it was like to be destroyed in love...literally destroyed in love...she had always considered all her interns to be her younger siblings and yes she had been strict towards them and she knew they called her 'hitler' but she loved all of them...specially Armaan and Riddhima...she had seen their love blossom...she had suspected their relationship for a long time...and she had seen its destruction too and now she was seeing one of her most beloved interns literally crumble infront of her. Dr. Armaan had always been in the forefront for everything...always taking up the blame for all the pranks that the interns pulled together but always being the most exceptionally talented doctors she had come across and now...he was...there was no life in his eyes anymore...and she was partly to blame also, she should have told Armaan earlier, she should have after all he was the one who had talked to Navneeta into accepting her and Shubhankar's relationship...but she had promised Siddhant...
And without thinking about it anymore...she hugged Armaan like an elder sister and whispered, "I am sorry Armaan...I am so sorry...aap ja sakte hain...aap jee sakte hain...mujhse wada kijiye ki aap jeeyenge."
Armaan felt a tear escape his eyes and he could only close them...he could not make empty promises and perhaps Kirti sensed that and when she held him at an arms length she said, "Aap ek behetereen doctor hai Armaan, aapke patients aap se bahut lagav rakhte hain, Nana, Minnie, aapki Shehnaaz bi, Dr. Atul, Dr. Rahul, Dr. Muskaan...yeh sab aap ke liye hain...aur main aur Shubhankar bhi...isske bare mein zaroor sochiyega Dr. Armaan. Ab aap jaa sakte hain. We will miss you a lot, Dr. Armaan Malik."
He shook her hand for the last time and made his way out of her cabin, leaving Kirti take out a picture snapped at the Save Sanjeevani Concert and think about how life could change in just one moment...
Next Armaan went to the patients ward and there saw Nana as usual creating a ruckus and jumping here and there...he took a step forward but then stopped short...Nana would undoubtedly get upset that his Apple was going away and why should he give anymore pain to anyone...so he just left from there, his last sight of Nana fighting with another patient over his favorite bed...
He was walking in the familiar corridors of Sanjeevani but they all felt strange to him, like someone had robbed them of their essence...he passed the canteen and for a fleeting moment thought that he saw all his friends there enjoying their coffee break, Rahul-Muskaan fighting, Atul waiting on Anjie, Nikki acting crazy and Abhi trying to act tough and Riddhima...Armaan closed his eyes...he could not even think about her...
He went to the nurse station and there he imagined Sister Lovely chasing Rahul and Atul...aaj sab kho gaya tha...kuch bhi nahin...kuch bhi nahin tha...
His feet carried him to the locker room next...but he could not step inside...this place had been marred by the incident yesterday and so he said goodbye from the threshold...so many memories...and yet nothing was left now...
He passed the Fire Escape and sat there for some time...reminiscing his life, his love, his self...tears dropped from his eyes...at last liberated..."Kyon?". Only one question and yet no answer...not even one...
The BB court was his last destination and as fate would have it, his only destination was there too...in a blue salwaar suit reminding him of the time before their roka...
Riddhima felt him behind her and true to herself she put on her ruthless face and turned around but she was knocked off her feat by his expression, his stance...he looked so broken, so lifeless...her Armaan...no Riddhima, she scolded herself, you are Sid'd wife now...
Armaan turned away and walked a few steps but then changed his mind and walked upto her and taking her hand in his, he dropped something in it but did not leave her hand. He stared deep into her soul and Riddhima could not turn her eyes away...perhaps she knew that if she did, he would die right there and then...a tear escaped her eye which he deftly caught in his thumb and said, "Ab kyon ro rahi ho Riddhima...ab toh main jaa raha hoon...tumse door, jaisa tum chahti thi...ab tum Sid ke saath bina kissi fikr ke raho...par ek baat yaad rakhna ki kahin na kahin ek insaan hai jo sirf aur sirf tumhari khushi uss rab se mangta rahega aur Riddhima I am really sorry ki main wapas aaya...mujhe...mujhe shayad marr hi jaana chahiye tha...agar meri maut tumhe khush rakhti hai toh mujhe jeene ka koi haq nahin tha...toh tum chinta mat karna Riddhima...hamesha khush rehna, hamesha...ab tumhe main kabhi nahin sataaong...kabhi nahin...Sid ke saath apni zindangi khushi se bitana...I...I...Main tumse...khush rehna, Riddhima."
And he went away, leaving Riddhima frozen and in shock...kya Armaan yeh sochta tha ki who uske jeene se khush nahin hai...kya usne kal kahi baatein sun lit hi...who sab usne mauke mein aa ke kaha tha...kya Riddhima kabhi bhi khush reh sakti thi jab uska Armaan yeh samajh raha ho ki uski Riddhima usko nahin chahti hai...
She opened her hand and saw the little boonda that Armaan had hidden so long ago in his locker and had never returned to her...aur ab...
So what do you guys think...its an open ended thing...should I continue further or not...
Constructive criticism allowed, idiocy not.
And please dont copy this elsewhere...
PM LIST - page 10
Part 2 - page 3
Part 3 - page 5
Part 4 - page 10
Part 5 - page 20
Part 6 - page 29
Part 7 - page 40
Part 8 - page 53
Part 9 - page 67
Part 10 - page 82
Epilogue Part 1 - page 95
NOTE - page 100
Epilogue Part 2 - page 113
NOTE - page 124
SPIN OFFs Promise is now ON! The first entry has been posted on a brand new thread! Do check out -
My other ffs -
Zindagi Spin Offs (Spin-offs based on 'Zindagi') - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1501770
Bas...Yun Hi...(A short AR ff) - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1401989&PID=30482021�
Layak Hi Nahin Ho! (A funny Riddhima one-shot) - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1387859
Lullaby (A sad AR one-shot) - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1393951&PID=30099791�
Aaj Main Bhi Khushi Chunoongi (AR two-shot) - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1508457&PID=34857098�
Joined: 07 July 2008
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Joined: 01 November 2008
Joined: 21 December 2007
Joined: 13 June 2005
Joined: 19 March 2010
awesome post.......it brought tears in my eyes
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