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Jaan's OS Updated May 11 Second Time

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patakhaguddi

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patakhaguddi

Joined: 27 December 2007

Posts: 13502

Posted: 10 April 2010 at 7:18pm | IP Logged

Note: This is for all fans of DMG. Constructive Criticism is appreciated. Bashing is not. Thank You!Smile


Hey All. Here Is another OS for you.

Dedicated to Nikita [nikita-88] who used her persuasion and a variety of other CIA type techniques to get me to keep writing.

Updated May 11 on page 9

Updated May 5.-In Blue.

Note: Tumhare Bina Nahin is a different OS while this is a different one. I realize that it may have been confusing.

Tumhare Bina Nahin [April 10] Is Here

Here is the New One!

Bewafaa Nikli Hai Tu

The wind was blowing very hard, the trees rustled.....no one was outside except him. It was dark, all he could see was the woods. Endless, hopeless.A shiver went through his body, but he didn't move. He was looking up at the  moon. He didn't know what to think anymore. His body had been paralyzed by shock. He was tired. His whole body ached. Riddhima'the woman he gave so much too....she wasn't his. He didn't know why he ever thought she could be. Kuch log....ek dusre ke liye bane hain'aur kuch log....achanake se beech mein aa jate hain.  He saw them together, and he couldn't take it anymore. He felt as if there were a brick sittining right upon his heart. Sid. Tume pata hai ke pyaar. Pyar hamesha paana nahin hota hai. Riddhima tere saath abhi tak kyun hai? Samaaj ki khatir. Dr. Shashank ki khatir..Par agar tu chala jaata hai.....to phir uski kya galti hain?  Sid pondered upon this thought. I could leave, go to Europe, no one would know where I was. She could be with him'She could.

 

*****

Riddhima looked out of the window. Ek ghante se wahin par kharda hai....sardi lag jaegi. She closed he reyes. Ufff...Riddhima. kaise kar sakti hai tu aisa? Kuch akal nahin hai tujhe. Sid...hai....Tu jise bhi chahe. Sid tujhse baat narna chatha tha who koshis kar raha tha...aur tu?? She opened her eyes. She needed to talk to him.

 

****

He turned...yes it was decided now. He knew what he was going to do. Kalse Riddhima. Tumhe mere liye apni khushi ki kubaani kahin dene pardegi.


****

Next Day.

Riddhima walked into the medical tent. Sid was there already, he was attending to one of the more critical girls, Tia. He was focused completely on her. He was talking to her, making her smile.

Riddhima smiled. The aunty who ran the orphanage came up to her and said, "Char baje se yahin par hai. Bachi ka tabyat bhoot kharab ho gaya tha. Panch Ghante se whah se hila nahin hai. Jab maine poocha ke mein tum dono ko jagaoon taki woh thodi der ke liye so sake usne kaha ke kyunki voh aaj hi jaa raha hai....jitna bhi kam use ho sak tha voh karega."

"Jaa Raha Hai?"

"Haan. Tume to pata hi hoga."

Riddhima said quickly " Haan, voh mujhe pata tha....bus ek second ke liye-"

"Koi baat nahin beta....hota hai" She patted her on the arm reassuringly, "Main abhi aai"

Riddhima smiled slightly. Ja raha hai? Kahan? Nahin....aunty ne galat suna hoga. She walked up to Sid-"Aur phir tum kahne ke baad davai loge. Theek hai?" He stopped and looked over his shoulder, his expression remained exactly the same, he looked back at Tia, bent down and said "Ek minute beta." He straigtened up and turned around. He looked her in the eyes. She didn't see anything in them. " Yes Ma'am. Tia ko raat ko bhoot bhukar tha, her abdominal muscles tensed up and she wasn't being able to hold anything down. Details of the treatment are in her chart." He held it out to her, her hand automatically moved forward, but her eyes stayed on him. "her vitals are fine now. Abhi maine chotu ko bheja khana lane ke liye." He stopped, she continued staring at him. Her mouth slightly agape. He turned around, and said to Tia "Beta, main baaki saab ko dekhne jaa raha hoon. Didi aapka khayal kakhegi aur jab chootu aaega to aagar ho sake to kahna...." He lifted his hand up her a five. And Tia smiled and gave it to him. He turned and walked around Riddhima, Out of the tent.




Edited by Jaan730 - 11 May 2010 at 8:47pm

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nikita_88

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nikita_88

Joined: 02 May 2005

Posts: 36864

Posted: 10 April 2010 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
Jaan I loved it!!!

So glad its up! Loved reading it all the way through you caputured all three charaters really well!


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meera_kgpatakhaguddiromiosugar1

patakhaguddi

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patakhaguddi

Joined: 27 December 2007

Posts: 13502

Posted: 10 April 2010 at 7:39pm | IP Logged
Thanks Nikita! Really sweet of you to comment Smile

ROBlicious.

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ROBlicious.

Joined: 31 July 2009

Posts: 18470

Posted: 10 April 2010 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
Loved it to the Core Sweety Hug.
Hehe awsomeee JOB. You should so write mroe.

Siddhima4Life Dancing

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mysterieux

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mysterieux

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Posted: 10 April 2010 at 7:43pm | IP Logged

How lovely.....absolutely beautifully fantastically written......

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romiosugar1patakhaguddi

patakhaguddi

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patakhaguddi

Joined: 27 December 2007

Posts: 13502

Posted: 10 April 2010 at 7:47pm | IP Logged
Harsha and Buffy- Thanks!!! Hug Glad you liked it.

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mysterieux

supercool3

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supercool3

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Joined: 17 February 2010

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Posted: 10 April 2010 at 7:51pm | IP Logged
well written
r u plannin to become a writer by chance?

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patakhaguddiromiosugar1

patakhaguddi

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patakhaguddi

Joined: 27 December 2007

Posts: 13502

Posted: 10 April 2010 at 9:11pm | IP Logged
V- Thanks darling. So glad you liked it. Hug

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