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3 stories by sunny

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sunnyp1414

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sunnyp1414

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Posted: 09 April 2010 at 12:16am | IP Logged

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sunnyp1414

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Posted: 09 April 2010 at 12:17am | IP Logged

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prabha.

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Posted: 09 April 2010 at 1:10am | IP Logged

hmmm interesting, lekin thoda confusion hai. The Murderer was enacting as constable?? Or the Constable was involved?? Why Sakshi did not recognize the Murderer if she made fun of him she should know him. And how Forensic is so sure about the time and the man was injured in the dikki?? How did Sakshi's finger prints come on the weapon?

 

Sorry to bombard you with questions. Let me know if I did not read properly.

 

Edit : Abhijit Sir ke character ko kafi achha pakda hai, in your writing.



Edited by prabhanarayan - 09 April 2010 at 1:25am

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sunnyp1414

sunnyp1414

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sunnyp1414

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Posted: 09 April 2010 at 1:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by prabhanarayan

hmmm interesting, lekin thoda confusion hai. The Murderer was enacting as constable?? Or the Constable was involved?? Why Sakshi did not recognize the Murderer if she made fun of him she should know him. And how Forensic is so sure about the time and the man was injured in the dikki?? How did Sakshi's finger prints come on the weapon?

 

Sorry to bombard you with questions. Let me know if I did not read properly.

 

Edit : Abhijit Sir ke character ko perfectly pakda hai.



As I said in starting Somethings left for imagination.

Murdrer was enacting as constable because at last it is said he did 2 murders one of the  constable and other of ankit. To fool  is not easy beacuse name on the dress is there. So killed constable took his name and identity (no plastic surgery). Just identity  card changed.

It was school time people do change. difficult to recognize.

as far as forenscis is concerned. I am little bit weak in it as i am non-medical student. but from the time medicine was given (behosh karne ke liye) and after that blood collected from the car. The quantity can tell where actually pehla var kiya gaya. Full of blood and nothing was there on sides of the car just at one place only where the person was lying.

And finger prints. AS I thought from many years we people watching CID so left to you (otherwise lenght of teh story could increase). Finger prints can be easily taken on the knife thats not big deal. In many CId episodes we have seen. especially where Salunke Sir was caught.


Just want to know upto what level suspense was created by story. and any mistakes in dialogues


Edited by sunnyp1414 - 09 April 2010 at 1:28am

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Bhavanab

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Posted: 09 April 2010 at 1:28am | IP Logged
good one you maintained the suspense quite perfectly till the end i couldn't think of who the criminal could be.Keep up the good work Thumbs Up Clap

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prabha.

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Posted: 09 April 2010 at 1:36am | IP Logged

@sunnyp1414  Thanks for explaination. I thought I mis-read or skipped any part by mistake.

 
I liked two things. Abhi Sir, just passing by ended up in small jhagda and eventually became a witness. Second is how cold water helped. The scene is written in such a way I could see Daya-Abhi in that scene, their expressions, their Eureka moment.
 
One suggestion there was one part that seemed to drag. Before Abhi Sir's return the sequence where the team is trying to get information out of Sakshi, seems to drag a bit, thoda short hota to achha hota.

 



Edited by prabhanarayan - 09 April 2010 at 1:38am

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sunnyp1414

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sunnyp1414

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Posted: 09 April 2010 at 1:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by prabhanarayan

One suggestion there was one part that seemed to drag. Before Abhi Sir's return the sequence where the team is trying to get information out of Sakshi, seems to drag a bit, thoda short hota to achha hota.


I wrote this whole story in one go so this can happen. I will try to edit when will get time. Thanks.

sunnyp1414

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sunnyp1414

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Posts: 3085

Posted: 09 April 2010 at 8:04am | IP Logged
 I don't want to start another thread. hey I think to share it with you My sister emailed me the autographs of Abhijeet and Daya. Soon I will post here in this forum.


Hey please comment about story even bad or good it will help me in next story


Edited by sunnyp1414 - 09 April 2010 at 8:08am

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