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STORY -Case of hidden diamonds - By VISROM

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cadbury123

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cadbury123

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Posted: 07 April 2010 at 8:53am | IP Logged

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sunnyp1414

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Posted: 07 April 2010 at 8:56am | IP Logged
cadbury123 welcome to the forum. Myself Sunny.  As far as story is concerned nice effort first up. There was mystery in story but more mystery was in the house rather that one room. Hats of to that architect who made.
Very well and precisely written keep up good work waiting for your next story


Edited by sunnyp1414 - 07 April 2010 at 10:03am

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cadbury123pappais

suhani.cipamisa

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suhani.cipamisa

Joined: 12 April 2009

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Posted: 07 April 2010 at 10:43am | IP Logged
hii welcome here! nice story!! very unusual... and u seem to be a vivek fan, ain? Big smile keep it up....

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cadbury123

prabha.

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prabha.

Joined: 05 July 2005

Posts: 6852

Posted: 07 April 2010 at 11:36am | IP Logged
WOW very interesting. I would really love to see this one on screen. What a wonderful episode it would be if they get the setting right. I could actually see that house, room by room, the passage, the staircase. Very well written, easy to read. Good to see Vivek getting an opportunity to shine. Great going, looking forward to more stuff from you.

Originally posted by cadbury123

Fredricks : Daya sir, Abhijeet sir humesha mujhe daante hai...lekin unhone Vivek ko kuch nahin kaha...

Daya : Freddie, Vivek saal mein ek baar late aata hai...tum hafte mein chaar din late aate ho aur baaki ek din bohot late aate ho.


This has to be the dialog of the day. Awesome dialog, I can see Daya Sir say that for Freddie


Edited by prabhanarayan - 07 April 2010 at 11:49am

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cadbury123

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cadbury123

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Posted: 07 April 2010 at 7:07pm | IP Logged
Hi friends,
Glad to know you all liked the story.
Now, I must tell you something. I am very very sorry for cheating you all. I am an old member here. I was embarassed to write under my own name because this is my first try.
I was thinking of writing a story for quite sometime. Everyone was writing, toh socha main kyun nahin.
And everyone was writing stories of Daya getting hurt or Abhijeet getting hurt and emotional scenes in hospital. Don't misunderstand me. I simply LOVED all the stories, but I wanted to write something different, where no one would get hurt and was racking my brains for  the last 10-15 days. I tried 2-3 times...I wrote a couple of scenes and then re-read it and didn't like it, so just deleted it.
This time I decided not to re-read it. I got an idea, typed it in one go and posted it without reading it a second time. That is the reason for many mistakes in dialogues, grammatical errors etc. If I had waited to correct them, I would have ended up not liking and deleted the whole story.
And in the whole process I realised how difficult it is to come up with a different idea every week. My sympathies are with CID writers.
Please don't  scold me now. Smile
 

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prabha.

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prabha.

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Posted: 07 April 2010 at 8:06pm | IP Logged

So what's your original/old username? Now I wonder what was the story you deleted, I think we missed out on something interesting.

 

I can understand what you are saying about the emotional drama. Actually CID is an episodic series, once case is over nothing is taken forward from it. It's the bonding within the team that binds all these 12 years. Hence we enjoy those emotional moments. Once the case is over these are moments that stay with us.

 

I am glad your story had no injuries. Imagining Abhi Sir on the Hospital bed so often was painful. Also I am glad you gave Vivek something to do. You thought of the house really well and described it so well that we could see it. Great work, keep it going.

 

Now only if someone could weave a really good story around Freddie keeping his character intact without indulging in buffoonery n stupid humor and something around Tasha as well. That will be wonderful.

 



Edited by prabhanarayan - 07 April 2010 at 8:15pm

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devashri

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devashri

Joined: 15 January 2010

Posts: 446

Posted: 07 April 2010 at 8:22pm | IP Logged
Wonderful story!! I loved it!!Clap

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cadbury123

cadbury123

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cadbury123

Joined: 07 April 2010

Posts: 15

Posted: 07 April 2010 at 9:30pm | IP Logged
Embarrassed
If I tell you my name, you will raise the bar higher. As it is, I read the story now and feel there could have been so many improvements, had I read it once again. Dead

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