Posted: 03 February 2005 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
1st thief : Oh The police is here. Quick Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry this is no time for superstitions.
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to KualaLumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order.order"
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you,your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."
'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy'
'What happened then?'
Customer : 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Brighton in two days'time?'
Post Master : 'Well it might do.'
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to London.
Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born hai! bro.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
Friend 1 : Where did you born ?
Friend 2 : India.
Friend 1 : India? Which part?
Friend 2 : No, the whole body.
Did you hear about the Surd family that froze to death outside a theatre?
They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the winter".