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a woman who has been raped by her boss

usachick821 Goldie

Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 1034

Posted: 22 November 2005 at 3:03pm | IP Logged

a woman who has been raped by her boss, but never said anything. my mom's friend aniti who lives in india had been raped by her boss 6-7 years ago, and she never told anyone, quit her job, and moved to some remote place in kerala with her daughter (from her late husband) due to the pressure that society would put on her. when i first heard this i called her a coward, but then i realised that even if she fought for her rights all those years ago, society would not blame the man, but the woman for being too loose or not being brought up properly with the right morals, or that she wanted money and to get ahead on the career ladder. Do u think that this is fair? for society to always turn the other way when a woman is abused/raped/neglected by anyone including her own husband or abused by her kids? (such as domestic violence), but when she stands up for her rights, they accuse the mistake of the man as her own??? Angry


syrene Goldie

Joined: 08 October 2005
Posts: 1648

Posted: 22 November 2005 at 7:53pm | IP Logged
nope but i think things are beginning to change a little bit i think, now that more women are coming foward with such cases and they are supported by their family in this regard, i hope the situation will change. recently a former minister in kerala was found guilty of misbehaviour with an IAS officer. such cases are sure to inspire women to raise their voice.
TiN24 Goldie

Joined: 21 September 2004
Posts: 1865

Posted: 22 November 2005 at 10:43pm | IP Logged
I think women in such cases SHOULD raise their voice and recieve 100% justice. Sure you may think that if women do fight back, it will all come back on her again as still being the root cause. BUT at the same time, by staying quiet you are not only proving everyone right and giving them reason to believe that maybe you provoked such a incident, but you are also letting the men who do such acts feel as though they can do it over and over again cause no one will say anything.

There are alot of downfalls and advantages in such situations. For God's sake....its 2005 now, why are women still seen upon as second-rate people? Why are women that get raped or abused still remaining quiet? Speak out, let yourself be heard and if not for yourself, at least fight for the truth.

Men that do such tidious acts SHOULD get punished. Who the hell do they think they are? And if women stay quiet, men will continue to do it cause they know no one will take any serious action towards them.

As for society, well in my opinion, society was, is and will always be corrupted and full of BS. If you have to fight against the culprit, do it. If you have to fight against the law, do it. If you have to fight against society, you better do it. Who is "society" to decide what is right or wrong.? Did anyone ever come to think that if a woman got raped and actually fought back and raised her voice, society would say "wow, this girl is strong, focused and is fighting for the truth, and is fighting for justice? Why does it always have to be looked upon as a negative thing?

Bottom line, my advice to any woman who has been through such a thing as rape, abuse or anything bad, don't stay quiet because by staying quiet you are loosing a lot more of your self-respect and gaining a lot more pain and humiliation.
hazelgirl IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 June 2005
Posts: 5745

Posted: 23 November 2005 at 2:45am | IP Logged
well....first of all its a traumatic for a lady to say this act in public to get the justice.
but if the lady has a strong will power and has the courage to stand up its only then she should do this otherwise its going to be another trauma for a lady if she does not get the justice and ppl seclude her fr the society.
sugar plum Goldie
sugar plum
sugar plum

Joined: 07 April 2005
Posts: 2438

Posted: 23 November 2005 at 3:22am | IP Logged
the thing with society is that... they blame the WOMAN is she is raped... why?? i don't really know... society has set too many limits for women, but men are allowed to go rape or molest any woman they want, it's ok if a man does anything wrong... but it's not ok for a woman whether she has committed the mistake or not! what kind of warped morality are we living with? What kind of society calls itself civilised if it derives its power from subjugating and oppressing women??? well... our society is just like this...
more often than not, girls in salwar kameezes get molested rather than those in strappy tops... provocation is not the way to explain away a man's crime... whether provoked or not, he should remain within his limits, and has no right whatsoever to ruin anybody's life...

Edited by sugar bun - 23 November 2005 at 3:23am
ashley1 Senior Member

Joined: 08 August 2005
Posts: 438

Posted: 28 November 2005 at 9:53am | IP Logged
Even if done when encouraged or provoked, the crime is a crime. It does not matter if someone was told to do a crime or if it was done with or without anyone's suggestion. For an example, if you asked your friend to kill someone & he/she did then its your friend's fault, not yours. Same way, even if a woman is sexually attractive, the man is at fault if he does anything to her without her permission.
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