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6/3 - Sid-Riddz - I want to fly kites , again.

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TheBlackJaguar

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TheBlackJaguar

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 10:41am | IP Logged
 

With a strange heaviness in her heart, Riddhima packed her clothes and things into bags and suitcases. Sid had basically told her to exit from his life.....oh, sorry, was she ever in his life as per him? He was turning into a monster , was beginning to hate his own existence and the very sight of Riddhima only reminded him how unworthy he was of trust and love ... and how incapable she was of  emotional employment. So, why live like paper dolls and burn into scraps ....let's release each-other. But strangely, Riddhima did not want to be released - this marriage and her twisted but deep-rooted bond with Sid was her new lease of life- a second chance to life that had come after a lot of emotional suffering and prolonged self- destructive behaviour due to loss of her first love. And as Riddhima finished packing , her eyes went to a picture of Siddhanth in happier times when his life was all about playing with silver spoons and singing love songs to his sportscar.... tears well up in Riddhima's eyes as all the times when she was on the door of death and destruction , Sid pulled her back to life . And today, he was not pulling her back - he was letting her go and Riddhima could not hold on to him.....after all how do you hold on to somebody you could never get a grip on - Riddhima hated her butter fingers. She just looks at the picture and says she is SORRY about all the agony that she caused him - perhaps this is where their roads divide - but she will always carry his kindness and his compassion with her.

On the other hand , Sid who perhaps never recovered from that suicide attempt of Riddhima's with his own sense of worthlessness , of being unwanted, of being unworthy of trust , companionship and love - growing deeper and more and more bitter by the day - well, he has used the ultimate weapon that a person uses when he/she knows that they are going to buckle and collapse under an emotional pressure that they cannot handle. Riddhima's rejection of Sid as somebody unworthy of even standing next to her has made him switch on his emotional defence mechanism - the ultimate psychological weapon where you create a fortress around yourself and shut all doors that lead to your heart - I refuse to beg for emotional employment- I refuse to be accepted or rejected by you - I refuse to live my life day to day in your eternal wait - I refuse to be affected by even the air that touches you and comes to me - Above all i refuse to give you another chance to hurt me - And so you have a Siddhanth who is cold, distant and has all his hurt and emotional frustration coming out in controlled but hurtful verbal behaviour.

Shanky shocks Sid by telling him that him and Paddy sent the honeymoon package. Sid's mind shoots back to the ugly treatment he gave Riddhima and all the cross things he told her and did to her. It was a major misunderstanding and as the adorable, ideal son-in-law prepares to leave making pink promises and giving cotton-soft affection to his father-in-law , you feel that maybe now, Sid will soften towards Riddhima. But soon , you realize that the honeymoon package fiasco was only a branch of the whole angst set-up that Sid is in. It was not the source of the sting that his sentiments , respect and his ego suffers. The honeymoon package only aggravated what he was already thinking and suffering - it was not the start or end of it. Riddhima still stayed a distant dream who would never take his hand with an open heart to go and fly kites together at the end of the cliff of life.....

Sid came back home and found Riddhima waiting with her bags packed and her eyes brimming with tears - waiting to be told to take exit doors from his life. Sid looked at her - no emotion in visibility - neither hard nor soft - just the gaze of a brat who has been told that he cannot have his favourite toy.Sid picked her bags and left and Riddhima followed him , thinking that Sid had done what he had decided - he was shutting her out and leaving her back in the fold of her parents.

However , Riddhima is in for a shock when she sees a straight-faced Siddhanth tell her and her father that they are going for their honeymoon. Before Riddhima can raise many questions - Sid curtly tells her that her father is ill - this marriage trouble soup is the last thing he needs to inhale - for your father we are a picture of perfect marital bliss and that is how it is going to be - i don't have the heart to hurt him or endanger him to anything just because you and i are running in circles like demented pooches. Riddhima looks at him in disbelief for a few seconds and then, her face melts into a pot of tears and not wanting to break into sobs in front of Sid, she gets down from the car and cries in solitude. Sid's expressions go a lighter shade seeing her cry - but he doesn't go running to wipe them like older times. He goes and stands next to her and Riddhima questions him..... what are you made of? Do you have any idea what all i have put you through since i entered your life ? Look what i have made out of you?... and today.... Today , you had a chance to put an end to your misery , get a new lease of life.... and yet you came back into this hell thwarting that chance to the winds?

As Sid looks back at her with his unfeeling demeanor, you realize how much Sid's goodness has moved Riddhima on the inside - touched her heart so much that the gratitude finds expressions in tears - it is an emotional transition for Riddhima that she is finding difficult to comprehend and understand- but yes , it has moved her. Siddhanth has stamped Riddhima with his sheer being forever.

Riddhima so wants to believe that her marriage has another chance - that Sid is doing all this for HER. But Sid bursts her happy soapbubbles and tells her mechanically that she has the wrong impression. He no longer does things for her - he is doing all this because Shanky matters to him and that is the start and end of it. Sid goes back to the car but Riddhima stands there , smiling through tears and surrendering to this man's goodness which refuses to leave him even when life and circumstances stain him.

Later , at the honeymoon cottage, Sid stays his frigid best and for a change Riddhima is the one trying to make amends - trying to speak to him , being nice to him. But Sid refuses to melt . He finds his Mr.Darcy skin very comfortable with his handsome nose stuck in the air but his broken heart buried under ice. But sadly for Sid, emotional conditioning can do little to kill your instinctive reactions and Sid's  case was no different. It is in his system to shield Riddhima from every trouble and even during these horrid times, it plays out.... Sid stands between Riddhima and another man moving his hands to touch her .... Sid gathers Riddhima in his arms and puts her carefully in her bed ... He exercises right and control over her when she refuses to let him touch her wounded foot.....And that just reflects the oft-repeated truth that no matter how much you condition or maneuver yourself , the heart is  a born wild horse who will always have a mind of it's own.....So, Sid -Riddz, just let go... it is a lost battle against what is meant to be - and that is both of you....

And when we are talking of second chances, i will like to mention a small scene from a Hindi film called 'Tum Bin'. In that film, a girl Pia loses her fiance Amar to death and a mysterious man called Shekhar finds way into her life. There is no love - they both have a subtle symbiotic friendship and Shekhar envelopes Pia's wounded life in a blanket of warmth and affection. Pia realizes that she is falling for Shekhar but she refuses to let go of Amar.... And one day, Pia is standing in a snowing street and she has a complicated talk with Shekhar. As she sees Shekhar go , she suddenly sees Amar standing across the street. He comes to her and lovingly removes the umbrella from over her head and smiles at a teary eyed Pia and i will translate what he told Pia.....

" Why are you hiding under that umbrella, Pia? You always liked snow, didn't you?....(looks at a receding Shekhar).... and you like him as well, don't you? Pia...I am not coming back. What could have been , what should have been is just a frame of imagination , what we had was beautiful and always will be.... the life we would have spent together , the life we would have seen together is something that did not happen .... there is no point in holding on to a life that never happened and that will never  happen....if you like Shekhar, stop him , tell him... and live the life that will be... that is now."

And leaving Pia standing in snow, Amar went away. And Pia looked at Shekhar walking at the far end of the street.



Edited by Pocahontas - 06 March 2010 at 11:53am

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*Shruti*sohrobjuisalulu99_dante_Madiha_20rima001d.y.nm21Jay-Deesanjanamishrashihij07LuV_MiLeSdhoopkinareyrabia04fuldouknoash08pisces25ShiningStar18Antaresmysterieuxprincess1sidsk--ania--MagicalKashRoarkAngelic_J-bhootni-Shwetha!shamilnyctophiliaKai.sajni786Ameres-alimabi-Nymeriatrina_sarasLennieshanti05nikita_88JennyPenny

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*Shruti*

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*Shruti*

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 10:49am | IP Logged
Firstly welcome back NitzHugHug

Coming to your post, you explained everything beautifullyHugHug

Siddhant is hurt. He can't come out of the fact that Ridz tried to end her life and she had no trust in him. The feeling of being unwanted is hitting him deep inside. He is trying to distant  Ridz from him by being mean to her but she seems to be unaffected which pricks him more. He doesn't realize how much he tries to be mean or rude to Ridz, tell her he doesn't care for her he can't cut the strings of his heart that has been attached to her even if he tries hard to do it.

Riddhima knows she did a mistake and is apologetic. She wants Sid to give him once chance. She knows winning back his trust won't be easy. The road ahead is full of thorns which she would walk even though she knows it's going to hurt her more. Sid could have told Shashank about the entire fiasco and ended this matter for once and all but he preferred not to break a father's heart who wants to see her daughter and son in law having a happy married life like any parent would.
Sid's goodness has touched Ridz heart.

Two strangers placed in each other's life by destiny. They might be standing at opposite corners of a room. How much they try to go far away from each other something the bond they share pulls them back together.


Edited by *Shruti* - 06 March 2010 at 11:44am

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princess1MagicalKashAntaresnyctophiliaKai.shanti05LennieTheBlackJaguar

Kai.

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 10:54am | IP Logged
wow poco thank a ton buddy, i always get to know SR from their emotional perspective!!HugHugHug
i am kinda blank right now, all i can say is - i missed ur pinky post!!!Approve
 
cheers
Kai

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princess1TheBlackJaguar

TheBlackJaguar

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TheBlackJaguar

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 10:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kai_Hiwatari

wow poco thank a ton buddy, i always get to know SR from their emotional perspective!!HugHugHug
i am kinda blank right now, all i can say is - i missed ur pinky post!!!Approve
 
cheers
Kai



Kaisterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!Hug

Why are you blank, baby? is everything alright?EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed... Pinky Poco Star Dolly Sholly also missed you , baby.

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Kai.

doukno

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 11:02am | IP Logged
Oh!!!!!!!!Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am freakin speechless.The post has had dat kind of effect on me.Nothing to add,today.
 
 

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princess1Kai.TheBlackJaguar

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Kai.

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 11:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Pocahontas

Originally posted by Kai_Hiwatari

wow poco thank a ton buddy, i always get to know SR from their emotional perspective!!HugHugHug
i am kinda blank right now, all i can say is - i missed ur pinky post!!!Approve
 
cheers
Kai



Kaisterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!Hug my pinky poco Hug

Why are you blank, baby? is everything alright?EmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassedEmbarrassed...nope not okay, u gave kai double dose of SR today, two episodes ka ek din main, her brain is frozen!!!ROFL Pinky Poco Star Dolly Sholly also missed you , baby. thank you, next time do inform us, we all were so worriedOuch

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princess1

TheBlackJaguar

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 11:07am | IP Logged
@Dou. You are just being lazy...ROFL

@Kai. Awwwww, little one. Chill, am fine. And stop blanking out. Hehe.

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-alimabi-

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Posted: 06 March 2010 at 11:09am | IP Logged
im speechless yaar soo beautiful and soo deep

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