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FF:continued from the precap (my version) plz read

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nm21

Goldie

nm21

Joined: 27 February 2008

Posts: 1996

Posted: 03 March 2010 at 5:59pm | IP Logged

Sid: Main aur Riddhima bas ghar se nikal hi rahe the, hum wo apne...honeymoon pe jaa rahe hain...


Riddhima looks at Sid aghast, she turns to stare into his eyes, scrutinising him and his intention. Her mind is filled with a thousand thoughts, trying to register the words flowing from Sid's mouth and ascertain their meaning, but they remain disordered. Her first impression envisaged a cruel Siddhant taking pleasure in informing her optimistic father of their failed marriage over the phone, on loudspeaker, in her presence, simply to spite her. She knew Sid was not bad at heart, yet he had already told her that, firstly, she had changed him for the worse and, secondly, that she should not expect him to take responsibility of the problem solver in her life....not anymore. And she had also accepted his angst towards her in the form of an equitable punishment.   


Yet, the words he uttered now completely changed that rational presumption. She felt incompetent, unable to think, speak, move. And then, the thought of her father brought her back to her senses. She blinked away all the confusion paramount in her mind and a new prospect immediately took its place. Without hesitation, she abruptly snatches the phone out of Siddhant's hand and cuts the call, breathing a sigh of relief as if her life depended on it. Siddhant sits there watching her, confounded by her actions, the hint of a frown creeping across his face. Riddhima glares at him, her expression sour, he can hear her breathing long and slow breaths, bracing herself. She turns to get out of the car and Siddhant catches her arm in immediate response, preventing her from leaving.


She ignores him, her narrow eyes focused on the direction she's headed when she mutters, "Siddhant, haath choriye", he fails to acknowledge the request, she turns to look at him, her eyes like daggers piercing him, confidently she spits out, "Maine kaha haath chodiye mera!" Riddhima twists her hand out of Siddhant's tight grasp, pulls herself out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her. She walks swiftly, but it proves too slow for her and she finds herself running back towards the house.

****

 

Riddhima stands firmly with her arms folded, thinking, re-thinking, back and forth. Nothing making any sense. Her head throbs, and she sits down holding it in her shaking hands, still thinking everything over. She only left the car a few seconds ago, but it feels as if she has been alone with her thoughts, her theories, her justifications for hours. She awaits the inevitable, the one person who can help her come to a sound judgement. And then she hears footsteps amble in behind her, she urgently turns to look at Siddhant, to rid her of the solitude that surrounds her, asking her questions she does not understand. She wants answers and she contemplates the person who will give them to her.


Siddhant, ever since their marriage, a fine soul, a kind human being, justified in his actions, because he is suffering too, yes, but even more so due to the difference in treatment of her parents and her. The latter had illustrated to Riddhima that Siddhant was fair, he only gave people what they deserved, and in her eyes, nothing could compare as a more superior being. She had seen him laugh with her father, embrace her mother with genuine sincerity, eventhough he had no duty towards them. This became the ultimate reason Riddhima had established Siddhant as a good man.


Yet she observed him now, perplexed, hurt, the shattered pieces of the flawless interpretation of her husband stabbing at her heart.

 

"Kitna asaan hai na aap ke liye kehna, ki main ek putla ban gayi hoon?" She mocks him through teary eyes, she squints, "kabhie socha hai kyun?"

"Ek taraf mujhse ye khethe hai ke aap" she struggles., "aap...papa ko sab kuch bata denge, humari is..." she looks around thinking of words, using her hands to generate some support, "is.. naa-kamyaab shaadi ke bare mein". She stares at Siddhant, her shoulder slumped, defeated by the idea. Her father's potential reaction to the news flashing before her eyes, and she closes them to bury the thought but it only seems to get stronger in her mind. She opens them quickly, "lekin phir...yeh sab?? Kyun??..." She holds her head in frustration, her eyes closed. "Mujhe kuch samaj mein nahi aaraha ...." But with no avail, no sudden enlightenment and no reassurance from Siddhant. She looks at him questioningly "honeym--?" her throat is dehydrated and she loses the word mid way, she gulps to replenish her throat, but its of no use. She hasn't finished though, her voice croaky, " maine sirf aapse ek cheez mangi thi, ki aap papa se baat mere samne nahi karenge. Par aapne to mere samne unhe phone kardiya...chahte kya hain aap mujhse?  kyun kaha aapne papa se...?!" Her tears flow from her eyes, "Siddhant, please" She folds her hands before him, staring into his eyes with outright authenticity, " aap kuch kehna chahte hai, mujhe kahiye, mujh pe cheekiye chilaiye, jo mann mein aata hai keejiye....par please, papa ko is sab se door rakhiye. Unki koi galti nahi to unhe dard mat dijiye please..aisa jhoot mat bataiye, ke sach sune par wo uska saama na kar paein...wo nahi seh payenge...please..please" Her tears unstoppable, she slowly kneels to the ground, hiding her face in her hands, shaking from the outburst.

Hope you liked it! Please comment/criticise! x



Edited by nm21 - 06 March 2010 at 5:01am

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*Shruti*shogun902juisamabelMaha_Sid-dewaniekthatigersupercool3ShiningStar18adoremevirgobhavi20_sMagicalKashAngelic_JnyctophiliaTheBlackJaguar

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Namitashanbhag

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Namitashanbhag

Joined: 20 September 2007

Posts: 186

Posted: 03 March 2010 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
hey nm21 nice ffSmileSmileSmile
i relly liked itClapClapClap
though i hope dey do go for the honeymoon lolLOLLOLLOL
but ya i wanted to tell one thing u noe u cud hav given sid also sum dialogues i mean usually sid doesnt keep quite and let ridz spk naa so tat wud sound more realisticSmileSmileSmile
anyway i liked the way u hav potrayed the sceneClap


Edited by Namitashanbhag - 03 March 2010 at 8:50pm

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shogun902nm21TheBlackJaguar

bhavi20_s

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bhavi20_s

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Posts: 5040

Posted: 03 March 2010 at 9:06pm | IP Logged
Hey Nishitha :)

Comment: Well, what you have written is good but i was expecting u to write something from sid's point of view too. Smile
U can come up with ur own twist as why sid said the honeymoon thing to shashank.

Criticism: The one u wrote after the panchagani"body heat" scene and the one after marriage and suicide were the best, in fact amazing. This one is good but not as good as those. Embarrassed


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adoremevirgo

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adoremevirgo

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Posted: 03 March 2010 at 10:44pm | IP Logged
u hv portrayed the confusion in ridz's mind regarding sid's behviour very nicely....but since i am equally confused i do not know wat to think....i can only say maybe sid thinks this honeymoon trip is wish fulfillment of ridz....after all he still has read only the wrong letter.

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shogun902nm21TheBlackJaguar

nm21

Goldie

nm21

Joined: 27 February 2008

Posts: 1996

Posted: 04 March 2010 at 12:40am | IP Logged
Hello! Thank you all for the comments!

Shamefully, I have to admit I took the easy route, I actually couldn't think of what lines to give Siddhant because I am totally baffled at the new twist, I await today's episode to hear his reasons but yeah I think aditi123_78, your suggestion is probably the most accurate =) thank  you for commenting! bhavi20_s-thank you, I am grateful for both the comment and the criticism, this FF is indefinitely the one I've spent the shortest amount of time on, literally half an hour- so I can also see why it would be the least favourite! Additionally, I am sooo glad you criticised it, I hope my reasons were justified enough for you to see why I was unable to give Sid an equal weighting in the FF, had he said something though it would have been in the next part of the story for sure! thank you again for commenting! Namitashanbhag-thank youu very much! Same reasons as to why Sid didn't have any lines, I can imagine Karan Wahi portraying his feelings through his face/eyes initially but, secretly, I also hope this proposed "honeymoon" changes things for the better between them!

Thankk  you again =) x x

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bhavi20_sTheBlackJaguar

TheBlackJaguar

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TheBlackJaguar

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Posted: 04 March 2010 at 12:55am | IP Logged
NM! You are a star and i love the way emotions flow from your words and how you thread everything together. Riddhima's state of mind is understandable. Sid has baffled Riddhima and you have brought out that confusion and angst very well.....Kyun, Siddhanth, Kyun?....Great!

Sid ka munh kab khulega? ROFL

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nm21ShiningStar18

nm21

Goldie

nm21

Joined: 27 February 2008

Posts: 1996

Posted: 04 March 2010 at 8:50am | IP Logged
You are too sweet! Thank you thank you thank you!!

I think I have only been able to write Riddhima's POV cause that is, bearing in mind Riddhima's personality, I myself would feel in the given situation. Add a little bit of imagination et voila you get this FF! =D

Sid's reasons for saying what he did are beyond me and I don't want to jump to any conclusions until I watch the episode!
 Thanks again Pocahontas! x

MagicalKash

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MagicalKash

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Posted: 04 March 2010 at 8:57am | IP Logged
I seriously love your post.The flow of words is SO good explaining each and every emotions so nicely .Riddhima's state of mind has been explained So nicely.I really want Ridz to act like this and not the way she is actually acting in the epi.This state of confusion and hurt is what Riddhima is going through right and once again I would say you have explained it brilliantly
Even Sid's state of mind ,his hurt everything has been laid out SO clearly

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