Posted:
14 years ago
A tumbling , tottering Sid enters the house with Riddhima trying to support him , hold him so that he doesn't collapse like pack of cards - ah, caring , caring Riddhima. Sid is still on his 'Rang Barse' plane and singing like a kid on a carousel. Momentarily , he has forgotten how his heart burns with a strange pain everytime he looks at Riddhima..... and when Riddhima extends her arms to help him, he pulls away and screams at her like a brat - DON'T TOUCH ME. Somewhere , he wishes that Riddhima would stop touching him so much on the inside but Riddhima can be her subtle stubborn when she wants to be. She doesn't listen to Siddhanth and saves him from tripping - Sid's anger takes a supersonic jet trip around the world as he looks at the woman who for a change is holding him in her arms.... Riddhima carefully takes him into the living room and settles him on the couch.
Riddhima is stern-faced and angry and if she would have been our slapping machine brat , Sid would have been whacked like a French Poodle. But Riddhima, even though full of genuine affection , sensitivity and respect towards Siddhanth , she is still a mechanical robotic wife towards her husband Siddhanth. .....She sees Sid trying to pour himself a glass of water but he is inebriated and his hands as unsteady as his heart , mind and soul right now. Riddhima watches for a few seconds and then, pours him a glass of water - eyebrows shot up in a silent stern mood - and hands it to him. Sid , even though drunk , he is fully aware of Riddhima's presence and what she is doing. He takes the glass from her hand and throws it across the floor..... Riddhima retains her cool. She pours another glass of water and gives it to him again and he .. getting brattier , takes the glass and throws it again..... Riddhima doesn't budge - the girl can show guts when she wants to. She gives him more glasses and they meet the same fate... finally, Sid's tide of emotions rises to the surface....
Sid fixes Riddhima in a corner and screams at her as though unleashing whatever he holds inside.....
Stop it, Riddhima! Will you just stop it? You don't have to be nice to me... please don't be nice to me! I want these mechanical and obligatory actions and duties to stop. Look at me! And look at the way , am treating you! I am treating you like dirt and yet you are standing unruffled.....Why? This is not true. This cannot be true.... Even am not true anymore! Do you think am the kind of man who would insult and humiliate his wife in front of his friends? Am I the kind of man who would treat a woman with that kind of disgust and disrespect and that too his wife? Would I ask my wife to clean my shoe?.... But that is what am doing. I cannot handle this. I am losing touch with myself, Riddhima... and it is all because of you! I don't know what it is or how it is , but you are turning me into a monster.... Go away, Riddhima. Get out of my sight before i stop recognizing myself completely.... JUST GO!
Riddhima is shocked, moved and troubled by Sid's self-condemnation and his emotional outburst. She finds tears rolling down her cheeks as she looks at Sid from the outside - he is crumbling and he really is losing base with his own self and he is beginning to hate himself. Riddhima knows she has no words of comfort to offer but it hurts her to see him like this. She knows she has triggered a suffering for Sid that has gone on it's own tangents- Sid is troubled because she is a part of him , without any realization of love yet and he cannot handle it - simply because he doesn't know it......
As Riddhima moves away from Sid's sight, tears streaming down her cheeks , she hears Sid burst into tears , not facing her. Sid cries like a little boy , hoping that he finds himself and the cause of this suffering stops. Riddhima feels a pull towards Sid when she sees him sobbing like that... her mouth moves to speak, she turns and extends her hands to go towards Sid.... but she knows Sid wants her to get out of his sight....saying anything at this moment would only worsen his state.... Leaving Sid to cry in the living room, Riddhima goes away to find her own corner to give vent to tears that have risen in her eyes... and like Sid , even she has no idea where they have come from.
Sid-Riddz have ripped each-other apart and it shows.
I won't go into the gang and my adorable YuNa moving mountains to make the Sid-Riddz marriage work because they deserve their own post. How many friends would make that kind of efforts for you? I bet most of us won't be able to recall too many names.
Later, the way Sid-Riddz look at each-other cutely and furtively while dancing with Yuvi-Naina shows that no matter how much they fight , no matter how much they are pulled apart .... they are going to look back on the road and make sure that the other one is within an arm's distance......And when they danced with each-other , Sid was no longer stern .... he nicely asked for her hand , slid his arm around her waist and encircled her in a delicate play of feet and arms. There was no aggression in there , no fury , no angst - he was nice to her. And for once everybody could breathe in peace. As Sid said today - I don't get any cheap thrills out of behaving like this with you but am not in my senses anymore....
Riddhima's face lights up everytime she sees a flicker of the old sweet adorable Sid on her husband Siddhanth's face and today was no different. When Sid is this adorable , respectful son-in-law to Shankypanks and Paddy Aunty , Riddzie looks at him with a sweet smile of comfort and reassurance. She feels good when he feels good and that is a fact.
Everybody leaves and Sid's ice slabs return. He turns to go back to his room holding his pa-in-law's gifts for him and a smiling , touched Riddhima calls out after him.....
I am happy that you were not angry for a change. It felt nice. See , IT IS NOT EVEN THAT DIFFICULT.
You look for the nearest wall available to jam your head in! Girlie, this is a MARRIAGE.... Not a five-year plan on which you are going to figure out the budget and planning and say.... ITNA BHI MUSHKIL NAHIIN HAI......
And this is what ticks off Sid. Stop making this marriage sound like rocket science. Stop being mechanical and believing that we can make this marriage work by maneuvering our psyches while our emotional involvement is ZERO. Stop trying to be a perfect wife and trying to find a perfect husband in me when the first thing we need to work on is our ugliest fears and demons.....
Sid lashes back at her , stinging her - Oh, yes, yes, sweetheart. We are doing just fine. You cannot bear standing next to me. We are fine. You are unsettled and uncomfortable by my proximity . We are fine. Somebody else rules your heart and soul and yet you are trying to paint a pretty picture. Sorry , baby. But we are not mechanical dolls and presenting perfect pictures by being perfect life-partners for a show is not going to help.
But Riddhima , as i said... is a woman of subtle stubbornness. She knows Sid is right but she presents her case with cool and reasonable arguments......
No , Siddhanth. You are my present , my future , my everything and am not carrying any baggage. Trust me.
Sid looks at her .Stop trying to fool yourself and me , Riddhima. You really do believe that everything is fine between us , right? You are actually living under the impression that all these wifey gestures and cool photographs are going to make us belong to each-other.... Fine, my lady. Let me prove it to you , right here and right now that just why we are only a beautiful picture of togetherness with no soul.
Sid walks up to Riddhima and puts her on a rapid fire round of questions and a rocket of flurrying emotions and feelings , approvals and denials....
He walks upto her and takes her hand , asking her that you are not going to stop me when i get closer to you, right?.... Riddhima , her face that of a spoilt brat stuck to her guns but eyes clouding says no.... and if i get closer and closer... he slides his arm around her waist and pulls her closer.... Riddhima sticks to her no.... Sid caresses her cheek , tenderly moving her hair out of her face but his expressions showing his testing colours ... and if am this close?.... No, harps Riddhima. Sid puts her hair back in place and goes behind her... and tersely , he asks her .... no matter what i do to you , with you , it makes no difference to you , right? .... Riddhima doesn't understand the punch behind his spiteful question and says NO.... Sid buries his face in her neck.... REACT RIDDHIMA. REACT. But she doesn't. Sid turns her around and holding her face in his hands , he bends over to kiss her.......
At the end , you realize that Sid would be happier having Riddhima scream , slap, rave and rant at him instead of being a robotic wife who has conditioned herself to an emotional numbness. He wants her to react and that is what played throughout the episode . He is tired of this facade of a perfect wife without feeling (which is not true , really. Riddhima feels but her whole approach towards this marriage is wrong)... he would prefer going back to being called Mr.Badtameez and happily calling her Buddhi Chudail... because that angst and childish hatred was real , at least.
Riddhima's complete surrender and her barbie-boll with a Mangalsutra approach is suffocating Sid and that suffocation is resulting in disturbed emotional angry reactions.......She is being perfect and Sid is hating his own imperfection.
Sid was right - Tumhe ehsaas bhi hai? Kaise hoga?
Sid wants Riddz to feel - even if that means chasing him around tables with her golden stilettos and hurling abuses at him.... at least those feelings would be real. Not conditioned.
Love and luck always,🤗
God bless you all!🥳
Edited by Pocahontas - 14 years ago
