Joined: 09 December 2004
I respect working women, they juggle everything, housework, kids, careers. I think that women and men are both responsible for bringing up a child and so it should not automatically be decided that the women has to give up more time than the man when the child is young. I beleive that both parents should spend as much time as possible with their children when they need support in their early stages, not just the mother. Overall i think that women can handle work and children.
Joined: 02 September 2004
i think smisha put forth great points.....this is is one of the issues where nothing is right and nothing is wrong....it is all about compromise and your lifestyle. Parenting is a big responsibility with great future implications(things could be rosy or real bad and you don't get to have an another shot at it). finances,your self esteem,your place or country of residence, amount of cooperation from hubby,family support system and the sort of job you do can all be determining factors.
the questions a women needs to ask herself are simple....can she do with less money(it means a no frill life for a while),will she feel useless it she stays at home, what are the cost of living/cultural concerns in the place she lives, can her hubby spare enough time from career towards home(inspite of all feminist hue and cry ...women still are responsible for kids globally),and will it be easy for her to reenter workforce a few years later.while i do agree that working for women has become very important today , i cannot deny that the fast life of modern times has also made more parental presence/guidance an absolute necessity in thier kids life .nannies and day cares are good options but nothing compares with parents.
inspite of favouring some sort of work(maybe parttime/temporary/work from home/social work.....or if you can manage a fullfledged job) ,i find it very hard to accept the importance of career when i see moms sending of infants to india with thier parents so that they can concentrate on job or have a full time nanny and see kids on weekends (if they can manage that ).believe it or not the job market is becoming increasingly competitive and women try to compete by putting everything else on hold or a lesser priority....by the time they awaken to the fact that there are somethings as important if not more than a successful career, thier lives and families are in complete shambles.
now for implication on kids.......my mom worked as a teacher for a while when i was a teenager....alll i remember from those days was that i did not want to return home from school, there was no one waiting at home with a hug and warm snacks at table, no one to ask me how my day fared and no one to gossip with. when she returned from work she was tired and i felt like i was intruding on her privacy. my brother whe was an introvert became quiter(if that were possible). i actually looked forward to weekend when i could have my old mom back. i however realise that probably we were spoilt rotten or were too dependant to my mom even for trivial things(it sure felt nice to be loved and pampered) . when i started working my daughter had almost the same experience......she became sullen , quiet and clingy.......untill i decided i could spare her some more time before i went back to work.....i quiet and took up studies instead for a while.culturally my daughter seems to be more in tune with indian tradions than rest of her friends and that seems to be enough of payback to me . however things are different with every kid and that is also a consideration. while things seemed to work for me this way it might not for somebody else.
Joined: 20 October 2004
BollyCurry Director, BollyCurry Executive Director
Joined: 30 October 2004
Irespect working women, they juggle everything, housework, kids, careers. I think that women and men are both responsible for bringing up a child and so it should notautomatically be decided that the women has to give up more time than the man when the child is young. I beleive that both parents should spend as much time as possible with their children when they need support in their early stages, not just the mother. Overall i think that women can handle work and children.
Joined: 18 December 2004
Joined: 10 December 2004
I think working mum's are great.. My mum was a working mum, however, she no longer works due to her health. Though both my elder sisters have 2 kids each and they are working mums and I have seen how hard they work with their work life, social life and more importantly home life. Can I add they have the perfect balance, their kids are so well mannered and understanding and they are only 4 and 1 year olds!
However, research has proven that non working mums have more control over their children, but it is possible to have a perfect balance and I hope to do the same in the future with my children. It is also very important to have an understanding husband to support the mother..
Joined: 07 December 2004
Great discussions..Ha..mm Again I feel it's personal decision..in given circumstances.
Personally I do feel the child has complete right over her mother till at least two yrs of life including breast feeding..yes the bond & upbringing begins right from the day of conception..first two years of life are crucial for emotional stabilty & security as well for baby's immune system ,they are more prone to infections if given in careless hands..! but the fact is that no one grants so much maternity leave..!& mom has to think about the heavy fees structure from third yr of baby's life..can't extend all the burden on dad in this competetive world or it'll compromise his health & quality time.
But I feel the upbringing & the right kind of communication starts in the womb itself..secured mother give birth to a healthy child..giving the most of you in initial months pays you back. After resuming also quality time matters; important is to keep communication intact..good books ,creative hobby serve the purpose...& not necessarily nonworking women are doing this successfully..they often are suffering from own depressions to be able to look at their children..their tution teacher knows better than the mother.
I have seen working woman on her toes from the first ray of light till they retire in the night-preparing breakfast,lunch,efficiently maintaining her boss's files,struggling her travels to reach back home ,checking child's home work,attending son's fever or talking to girl at her first menses & satisfying husband at the night.....oh god bow down to the strenghth of a WOMAN !!
But again the cost factor has to be weighed life is given only once...yrs don't return when we look back...hope we all were blessed with supportive family,career enough to explore our potential & deep sense of content from our children!!
Joined: 20 October 2004
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