Working Moms - The Social Implications

pj04 thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago

Discussion of the week

 We are going to post one very controversial topic every week and invite your opinion on it. However I request you to follow a few basic rules

1) these are just opinions and do not reflect a person's moral/social/ idealogical values so please refrain from name calling and personal attacks

2) keep the post decent (some topics might be infuriating). rest assured they are from what we encounter in our daily life and we expect a honest , healthy and intellectual debate.

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         I hope you will take this opportunity to participate in this debate without being judgemental. Open mindedness and tolerance have been the greatest asset of this forum. Also please feel free to send us feedbacks if you would like to continue with these discussions or not.

Ok let's start: Our topic for this week is

    WORKING MOMS........ARE THERE REALLY ANY SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS?

      Working moms have both been critisized and hailed in modern society. It seems grossly unfair that a women should have to compromise on her career because she has the capability of bearing children. however  many leading socialogists and doctors argue that lack of countinuous maternal influence in early years make children insecure and the social bonding amongst a family falls apart. is there really such a thing...what about quality of time vs quantity of time....what are the implications of working women for her kids, her family, her married life, her career and most importantly for herself...??? what so you think...??

LET THE DISCUSSION BEGIN.....

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pyaraladki thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
there is nothing wrong with a working woman. if you notice this world is basicaly run by women. Their input is always needed and i'm sure if you take a survey those women who work can assist their c/ren well cuz they are exposed to the happenings in society.
bas02 thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago

I respect working women, they juggle everything, housework, kids, careers. I think that women and men are both responsible for bringing up a child and so it should not automatically be decided that the women has to give up more time than the man when the child is young. I  beleive that both parents should spend as much time as possible with their children when they need support in their early stages, not just the mother. Overall i think that women can handle work and children.

anitha.b thumbnail
Anniversary 19 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 19 years ago

Wow I probably could write a debate on this...

I think kids do need the parents attention very much in the warly years to bond and it does not mean that you can save time as they grow...it gets more challenging for any parent as kids grow with all the things they learn and focus. Parents have to be their for them to guide them and teach them good, play with them, be their friend, help them develop their skills and what not...

But it does not mean that moms should not work. It needs lots of dedication and organization for that part. Lots of compromises and adjustments for both husband and wife...

It is ideal when you get the support from dad's and if mom's have flexibility in their work like they can work early hours and come early and dad's can start late and come back late...then their would be always a coverage...but then what happens to the family time...so it is nice if the kid is sent to a day care or baby sitter for some time may be few hours a day that way...all of them get to spend some good time together. This time is all precious and should be just used for family bonding time...play games, having outing together or watch somthing fun together....

Well all this is really great to think and it is tough to implement. With my personal experience...I know that...I don't give the 100% I want to give to my family...that is because my body gets all week by the end of the day and I try to play and spend as much time I can...and then I feel I should have done better. It requires me compromising and sacrificing some things...which are hard to do...but moms always are working...

So basically I think, mom's could do what they feel comfortable with...that is either work and then spend good quality time with their kids...which means compromises and sacrifice. Or mom's could be full time mom's which means they will have financial crunch, so have to be careful spending and then mom's also need some time for them selves so they have to do something creative to keep them motivated. May be take up a part time job or some social service that way they feel contended and satisfied and their energy level is up.

 

-misha thumbnail
Anniversary 19 Thumbnail Group Promotion 6 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 19 years ago
i have a working mom and i have no problem with it ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
queenbee thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
I had a working mom, and I'm scarred for life
sai14 thumbnail
Anniversary 19 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 19 years ago
I agree w/ u Smisha!

Yes mom's should work but there needs to be a balance between work and home life. I think in this day and age it's very crucial that parents spend the maxiumum time w/ their children because society is changing and kids are getting exposed to good and bad things at a very young age. But also in these times it is very crucial for a women to work. We are living amidst a soceity where women are working and holding very high-level jobs. It's very important that we women have to stand up on our own and fulfill our career dreams!

In my opinion, there needs to be balance. For example the wife and husband can work amongst their schedules , as smisha said. By the time kids come from preschool or school either of the parent has to be home. May be mom can come home early one day and dad can come home early some other day. In the morning's mom or dad can work their schedules out and one of them can stay home until the child goes to school. The basic principle is that either parent has to be home by the time the child is home so that they don't feel alone or left out! And no matter how the parents schedules are they need to spend some valuable time w/ kids; Such as going to their school to give surprise visits, not missing any of their school functions ! In my opinion working mom's can be effective parents and spend quality time w/ their parents. A great example is my cousin brother. Both him and his wife are doctors and they have a 4 year old boy. Both of them work around their schedules. She stays home in the morning until he goes to school and my cousin comes home by the time his school ends. Once they come home they spend the most amount of time possible w/ him. He is growing out fine!

It's possible for a women to work and be an effective parent! For working mom's to be effective parents it needs understanding and sacrifces between parents. I guess afterall being a mom is an amazing thing that it does need lot of work and sacrifices๐Ÿ˜Š
x_TaniSha_x thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
Originally posted by: bas02

I respect working women, they juggle everything, housework, kids, careers. I think that women and men are both responsible for bringing up a child and so it should not automatically be decided that the women has to give up more time than the man when the child is young. I  beleive that both parents should spend as much time as possible with their children when they need support in their early stages, not just the mother. Overall i think that women can handle work and children.



Thatz soo tru
I have a wurkin mom too
Everythinz fine wif meh...๐Ÿ˜ƒ
jazmine thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago
Originally posted by: x_TaniSha_x



Thatz soo tru
I have a wurkin mom too
Everythinz fine wif meh...๐Ÿ˜ƒ

lolz. even i have a working Mom. Bas di i really agree wid ya.
pj04 thumbnail
Posted: 19 years ago

i think smisha put forth great points.....this is is one of the issues where nothing is right and nothing is wrong....it is all about compromise and your lifestyle. Parenting is a big responsibility with great future implications(things could be rosy or real bad and you don't get to have an another shot at it). finances,your self esteem,your place or country of residence, amount of cooperation from hubby,family support system and the sort of job you do can all be determining factors.

                                       the questions a women needs to ask herself are simple....can she do with less money(it means a no frill life for a while),will she feel useless it she stays at home, what are the cost of living/cultural concerns in the place she lives, can her hubby spare enough time from career towards home(inspite of all feminist hue and cry ...women still are responsible for kids globally),and will it be easy for her to reenter workforce a few years later.while i do agree that working for women has become very important today , i cannot deny that the fast life of modern times has also made more parental presence/guidance an absolute necessity in thier kids life .nannies and day cares are good options but nothing compares with parents.

                                    inspite of favouring some sort of work(maybe parttime/temporary/work from home/social work.....or if you can manage a fullfledged job)  ,i find it very hard to accept the importance of career when i see moms sending of infants to india with thier parents so that they can concentrate on job or have a full time nanny and see kids on weekends (if they can manage that ).believe it or not the job market is becoming increasingly competitive and women try to compete by putting everything else on hold or a lesser priority....by the time they awaken to the fact that there are somethings as important if not more than a successful career, thier lives and families are in complete shambles.

                    now for implication on kids.......my mom worked as a teacher for a while when i was a teenager....alll i remember from those days was that i did not want to return home from school, there was no one waiting at home with a hug and warm snacks at table, no one to ask me how my day fared and no one to gossip with. when she returned from work she was tired and i felt like i was intruding on her privacy. my brother whe was an introvert became quiter(if that were possible). i actually looked forward to weekend when i could have my old mom back. i however realise that probably we were spoilt rotten or were too dependant to my mom even for trivial things(it sure felt nice to be loved and pampered) . when i started working my daughter had almost the same experience......she became sullen , quiet and clingy.......untill i decided i could spare her some more time  before i went back to work.....i quiet and took up studies instead for a while.culturally my daughter seems to be more in tune with indian tradions than rest of her friends and that seems to be enough of payback to me . however things are different with every kid and that is also a consideration. while things seemed to work for me this way it might not for somebody else.