Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:54am | IP Logged
I closed my diary, and
walked towards the window, sitting upon the window ledge and leaning my
head back, I stared out of the window into the distance, the sky grey,
the buildings grey, everything so full of dullness. Just as the
beginning of another round of rain started to fall my own eyes started
to tear up – why me? Why am I suffering? I never did anything bad to
anybody, why can't I be that carefree girl I used to be two years ago?
What happened to me during the years? Millions of thoughts took over my
mind, threatening to explode…I stared at the now steady rain falling,
it seemed like the ground was my memory and the rain, that event that,
suddenly came and washed away all my memories of the past…
"Sissy?" Says an unwanted voice, bringing me back to the reality from the world of my thoughts.
I look away from the window, at the source of the voice, who was
standing at my doorway with a weird expression on his face, and wipe
the tears that were steadily falling without my knowing.
"Hm?" I reply, looking out the window again.
"What's wrong?" John says his voice surprising me by how close it
suddenly is, I looked at him, his face blank but his eyes full of lots
of feelings merged together…I wonder what story his eyes tell of? Is he
also suffering? But hiding it behind that 'rude' character he shows to
"Hello?" John says softly, waving his hand in front of my face. I look down.
"Oh…sorry…I just feel…you know…" I start to say not knowing how to describe my feelings.
"Lonely?" John asks.
I look up and sigh, "Yup, that's exactly it!"
"I know how that feels…drives me nuts to be honest…" He says and turns
around and walks to my bed and sits on it, and looks at me.
We just look at each other for what seems like five minutes, and are both lost in our own thoughts.
Suddenly his phone beeps, jerking us both out of our thoughts, and he
gets up, and walks to me, and outstretches his arms, I stand up
confused and he leans down and hugs me, smiles and then walks out of my
Weird, huh? I look at the clock on my bedside table and see its nearing
11'o clock, I sigh and walk towards the toilet and prepare for going to
bed. After about five minutes I come out and lie down on my bed with
only the lamp on and take the diary out again.
< Weeks are going by..mine and Alfie's relationship is going
nowhere! Argh much to my disappointment! I bet you he's only going out
with Natasha because he's a player...Im so ticked..
My God.....Diiiiiii...Im so happy and angry at the same
time..LOL..basically today..I was running like the wind to get to the
cafeteria so that I can eat quickly because I needed to quickly do last
minute touches to my coursework – 'cos I was too busy thinking about
something *ahem* someone last night..shh..and well the typical
happens...I slip on a random plastic bag..I scream...I close my
eyes..and wait for the hard embrace of the ground..BUT..I get one which
is really warm and soft..which gives me butterflies..I open my
eyes..its him...King of my heart! Himself! He smirks down at me and
well after a minute of him just holding me leaning down with his arms
around my waist and me just staring at him his smirk disappears and
something else replaces it. Some expression I couldn't tell what it
was, I think he started leaning closer to me but it could have been my
imagination, but someone had to ruin the moment!
Joshua was like 'Kris'
..I quickly snap my eyes away from Alfie's and get up and mumble a
thanks, I look at Josh well more like glare at him and see that he's in
the middle of fuming and hurt, which automatically erased my glare from
my face..I asked him whether Kat had done something, he said no why
would you think that? Then he walked off...>