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Meri Kismat?...First Part

Me_Anonymous IF-Veteran Member
Me_Anonymous
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Posted: 20 November 2005 at 10:17am | IP Logged

Meri Kismat?

First Part

 

"Kitni jaldi utha diya yeh nahin ho saka kay thodee  dair aur sonay datay lakin kya karain unn kay to kya kehnay, zara jo saans lanain dain"

"Aray baba kis say lar rahi ho?" Ami ki awaz par main uchal he tu pari

"Kitnay baar kaha hai kay peechay say awaz mat diya karain mian dur jati hoon"  main takreeban rotay howay boli

"Acha theek hai ab uth jao aur tyarii kar lo"

"Uthi to hoi hoon ab aur kaisay uthon" mian nay "kambal" sahi kartay howay kaha

"aik he baat hai, ab chalo" ammi hokum daytay howay chal diin

main nay jaldi say bistar theek kiya aur kamray say bahar aa gai.

"Allah meri madad kar, yeh ghar kahin say nahin dikhta yeh to pora janjal poora lag raha hai" main nay apnay 8 behan bhaion ko jab nashtay par humla kartay dekha tu meray moon say nikal gya

sub khana chod kar meri taraf dekhnay lagay aur main nay jaldi say baat palti janti thi na kay jab say TV beecha hai ghar main har koi issi baat ka dukh karta hai lakin yeh nahin sochta kay paisay bhi tu zaroor chahiye thay issi liye beech diya.
"chay aur laon?" mian nay poocha
"Haan beta laa day, teri badi meharbaani" khala rasheeda ki awaz aii tu main tu tilmla gai aur foran say poocha "ayhay Khala, tujhe chay la don? Yaad nahin uss din jab mian teri pass 200 mangnay aai thi tu thune kya kiya? Mujhe boli array beti meray pass tu baraf tak khrednay kay paisay nahin hain aur jab main wahan say chali gai tu tu nay apnay ladlay uss Jamil ko 1000 rupay diya kay wo apnay liye kapray khreed lay"

Khala kay moon ka rang badal gya aur phir wo jaldi say apnay chehray kay taas-suraat par qaabu paatay howay boli "nahin beti tujhe ghalat fehmi hoi hai"

"Aray khala itna jhoot kyoun bolti hai, mian nay uss din khud dekha tha tujhe. Yaad nahin aya? Acha chal main yaad karati hoon uss din jab tu ussay paisay day rahi thi tu main nay tujhe dekh liya tha, main apni chadar bhool gai thi aur jab main terey pass wapas aai kay chadar lanay aai hoon tu tune poocha tha kay tune kuch suna tu nahin na aur main nay kaha tha kay nahin jabkay main nay aik aik baat sun li thi teri aur uss nigor maray Jamil ki"

"beti wo zid kar raha tha main aur kya karti, tujhe paisay dena chahti thi lakin kya karoon wo zid kar raha tha" khala nay masoom sa chehra bana kar jawab diya kay meray tun badan main aag lag gai, itna acha bhala mera ghussaa khatam ho raha tha kay uss kay iss jawab nay tu jalti par tail ka kaam kiya. Main jawab denay wali thi kay Nazia aa gai.

Uss ki saans pholi hoi aur rang lal main dekhtay he samajh gai kay zaroor kuch garbar hai aur uss ko under lay gai.

 

Bold words/sentences edited by Farhanas

I'll post second part soon
hope you all like itSmile

-Aji



Edited by scorpion134 - 22 November 2005 at 2:09pm

Mashal Goldie
Mashal
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Posts: 2347

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 2:21am | IP Logged
ohhhhhhhhhh its story main nay soocha kay......................................................... ............................................................ ..............................................
rehnay daity hoon batatay huee sharam a.. a.... jati hai
Embarrassed
Farhanas Senior Member
Farhanas
Farhanas

Joined: 02 December 2004
Posts: 594

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 7:39am | IP Logged

Let me do this for u Aji....corrected words r in blue

Meri Kismat?

 

"Kitni jaldi utha diya yeh nahin ho saka kay thodee  dair aur sonay datay lakin kya karain unn kay to kya kehnay, zara jo saans lanain dain"

"Aray baba kis say lar rahi ho?" Ami ki awaz par main uchal he tu pari

"Kitnay baar kaha hai kay peechay say awaz mat diya karain mian dur jati hoon"  main takreeban rotay howay boli

"Acha theek hai ab uth jao aur tyarii kar lo"

"Uthi to hoi hoon ab aur kaisay uthon" mian nay "kambal" sahi kartay howay kaha

"aik he baat hai, ab chalo" ammi hokum daytay howay chal diin

main nay jaldi say bistar theek kiya aur kamray say bahar aa gai.

"Allah meri madad kar, yeh ghar kahin say nahin dikhta yeh to pora janjal poora lag raha hai" main nay apnay 8 behan bhaion ko jab nashtay par humla kartay dekha tu meray moon say nikal gya

sub khana chod kar meri taraf dekhnay lagay aur main nay jaldi say baat palti janti thi na kay jab say TV beecha hai ghar main har koi issi baat ka dukh karta hai lakin yeh nahin sochta kay paisay bhi tu zaroor chahiye thay issi liye beech diya.
"chay aur laon?" mian nay poocha
"Haan beta laa day, teri badi meharbaani" khala rasheeda ki awaz aii tu main tu tilmla gai aur foran say poocha "ayhay Khala, tujhe chay la don? Yaad nahin uss din jab mian teri pass 200 mangnay aai thi tu thune kya kiya? Mujhe boli array beti meray pass tu baraf tak khrednay kay paisay nahin hain aur jab main wahan say chali gai tu tu nay apnay ladlay uss Jamil ko 1000 rupay diya kay wo apnay liye kapray khreed lay"

Khala kay moon ka rang badal gya aur phir wo jaldi say apnay chehray kay taas-suraat par qaabu paatay howay boli "nahin beti tujhe ghalat fehmi hoi hai"

"Aray khala itna jhoot kyoun bolti hai, mian nay uss din khud dekha tha tujhe. Yaad nahin aya? Acha chal main yaad karati hoon uss din jab tu ussay paisay day rahi thi tu main nay tujhe dekh liya tha, main apni chadar bhool gai thi aur jab main terey pass wapas aai kay chadar lanay aai hoon tu tune poocha tha kay tune kuch suna tu nahin na aur main nay kaha tha kay nahin jabkay main nay aik aik baat sun li thi teri aur uss nigor maray Jamil ki"

"beti wo zid kar raha tha main aur kya karti, tujhe paisay dena chahti thi lakin kya karoon wo zid kar raha tha" khala nay masoom sa chehra bana kar jawab diya kay meray tun badan main aag lag gai, itna acha bhala mera ghussaa khatam ho raha tha kay uss kay iss jawab nay tu jalti par tail ka kaam kiya. Main jawab denay wali thi kay Nazia aa gai.

Uss ki saans pholi hoi aur rang lal main dekhtay he samajh gai kay zaroor kuch garbar hai aur uss ko under lay gai.

 

Me_Anonymous IF-Veteran Member
Me_Anonymous
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Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 11407

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 8:57am | IP Logged
thanx Farhana Auty
saarahkhann IF-Dazzler
saarahkhann
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Joined: 23 March 2005
Posts: 2964

Posted: 21 November 2005 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
yaar i m confused Ouch..is this one of those fictional stories???? well jo bhi hai sounds pretty interesting Clap...very good Aji Smile
Me_Anonymous IF-Veteran Member
Me_Anonymous
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Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 11407

Posted: 22 November 2005 at 11:03am | IP Logged
yup Sara its fictional story written by "The Aji" LOL
amreen1409 IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 28 September 2004
Posts: 4224

Posted: 22 November 2005 at 3:05pm | IP Logged

Wow Aji! Its superb! ClapClapClap

Narrator's character is great, n I can really imagine how this khala looks like.. LOLLOL

Very well written..

Waiting for the next part! Keep it up

Me_Anonymous IF-Veteran Member
Me_Anonymous
Me_Anonymous

Joined: 03 July 2005
Posts: 11407

Posted: 22 November 2005 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
thanx Amreen
yup this Khala's character was confusing me should i make it positive or negative, everytime i tried to write this thing keep coming in mind LOL

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