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Bandini-mere nazariye se.. Epi 67 on pg 108

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aparakshitij

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aparakshitij

Joined: 20 November 2009

Posts: 3301

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 4:21am | IP Logged
Hey Bandinians!

I'm fed up wid da ongoin storyline!Dis was not how I wanted Bandini 2 be.So I thought of sharin wid u wot I wud hav liked 2 see in Bandini post Santu's arrest.I've visualized & written it in da form of several episodes.Criticism & encouragement are equally welcome!My story starts frm da point wen Birwa has met Santu & is cumin back 2 M-mansion.So here's Bandini-mere nazariye se(from my PoV)
 
Part I
Birwa is havin flashbacks of her meeting wid Santu.
She is silently prayin:God,I dont knw whether I shud b happy or sad.Happy dat I've got my mother back!I lost Subhi Maa wen I was jst 7.Although Papa,Nana,Nani,Fai every1 was der wid me,no1 cud giv me da kind of love which maa gave.Only u know how much I used 2 miss her!Den Santu came in r lives & gave me so much love dat I started seeing her as my mother's shadow.I love her even more dan Subhi maa!Sadly,bcoz of wot I did,she has been separated frm me & da family.She has 2 liv in da jail for so many years.Please God,listen 2 my prayers,giv me back my Santu Maa,plz!!Cry
She wipes her tears as she approaches M-mansion.She notices Baa-Bapuji in da courtyard,but proceeds 2 her room widout sayin a word.
Baa is baffled at her strange behaviour.
Baa:Why didnt she talk 2 us?
Bapuji:U know na,it has been really difficult for her 2 accept da current situation.Ever since Santu...
Baa:Plz,henceforth I dont want u to tak


Edited by aparakshitij - 07 October 2010 at 9:55pm

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soni-zee

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soni-zee

Joined: 29 November 2009

Posts: 2638

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 10:07am | IP Logged
it's really nice FF's Aparakshitij, waiting for the next episode.Thumbs Up

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aparakshitij

xXIheartRayaXx

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xXIheartRayaXx

Joined: 01 August 2009

Posts: 6911

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 10:42am | IP Logged
Hi apara,welcome 2 bandini land.u done a gud job.keep it up

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aparakshitij

anna44

IF-Rockerz

anna44

Joined: 14 November 2007

Posts: 7698

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 11:13am | IP Logged
Aprara Lovely FF....

I loved the Birwa's confession and loved DM having flashback of his santuri.......Sorry I did not read Airhead and Moti's part...




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aparakshitij

aparakshitij

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aparakshitij

Joined: 20 November 2009

Posts: 3301

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 11:36am | IP Logged

Thanks a lot,every1!Glad u liked it!Dancing

@Anna

Dats ok,I can understand ur resentment towards dese 2 characters..Angry

 
@Sanrajpremika(sorry,dunno ur name)

Next one's cumin 2mrw afternoon!     
@Bandinians

I've conceptualized bout 10 of dese episodes so far & in each 1 I've put in a SanRaj scene.DeadWid tym,I'll turn Khemi into a positive character in my story.Big smile
So basically,all dat I write here is wot I actually expected da cvs 2 show us.Day DreamingBut since dey r not obliging,I thought why cant I jst imagine dat?ErmmDen I thought I shud share it wid all of u.Vidya,Rakhie & many odrs write such wonderful stuff bout SanRaj/odr characters & r kind enough 2 share it wid us!ClapSo,inspired by der commendable work,I also decided 2 post in dis FF.
 M so happy 2 c ur response,Bandinians!DancingShall do my best 2 write better stuff in da future!Smile
 
Luv,
Apara....
 

Edited by aparakshitij - 07 February 2010 at 11:48am

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ammoos

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ammoos

Joined: 01 March 2008

Posts: 17608

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
Good one Apara....
 
Welcome to the FF worldLOL waiting for the next.

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aparakshitij

aparakshitij

IF-Dazzler

aparakshitij

Joined: 20 November 2009

Posts: 3301

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
Hey Bandinians!Smile M back!Da cvs always test our patience by showin da best scene last.AngryWe hav 2 bear wid crap scenes till da interesting scenes r shown.DeadNot here,wot u've been waitin for cums first(Part1-confession,Part2-SanRaj,Part3-explanation)!Here v go...Approve
 
Episode 2:

Part 1
Toral is standing in front of Birwa's room.
Toral:Birwa...
Der is no response.
She knocks on da door.
Toral:Birwa...plz open da door.
Birwa(angrily):I dont want 2 eat bhabhi!U plz go frm here.
Toral:Fine,I'll not force u 2 eat.But I wanted 2 talk 2 u,cant u even let me in for dat?
Birwa reluctantly opens da door.She frowns seeing da food.
Toral notices dat.
Toral:Baa has sent me wid da food.But,no probs,I'll jst go & giv dis food 2 Champakali & cm back.
She turns 2 go,but Birwa stops her.
Birwa:Wait bhabhi!Dont u wanna eat?
Toral:I... can v go inside & talk?
Birwa(puzzled):Ok
Toral heaves a sigh of relief!SmileShe closes da door behind her.
Birwa:Ya,now tell me,y dont u wanna eat?R'nt u hungry?
Toral:I'm really hungry...but..
Birwa:Wot?
Toral desparately tries 2 think of some excuse.ErmmSubconsciously,she pulls at her dupatta & her hand touches her mangalsutra.She gets an idea!
Birwa:Its ok if u dont wanna tell.I guess its sumtyn which only older ppl can talk abt & which kids lyk me r not supposed 2 knw.
Toral:Nothing lyk dat!Kadduben told me nanand-bhabhi r lyk friends.So,I can always tell u wot I feel.N besides,I'm not really dat old to be counted amongst da 'older ppl',am I?
Birwa(smiles):No.
Toral:Ha,so I was telling u dat ur Hiten bhai told me not to eat wid him.
Birwa:Y?Did u hav a fight?
Toral:Ya...ya,v had a small fight in da aftnun but he's still sulking!He's havin dinner now wid Ba-Bapuji,Kadduben,Shankybhai & Maulikbhai.Fai has taken her & Khemi's dinner 2 her room,Papa is havin dinner in his own room.I cant eat alone,somehow,I feel very depressed if I dont hav any1 to talk to.So I thought since u also hav nt eaten,lemme eat & talk wid u.But I see dat u r nt interested in eatin so..
Birwa:Its ok,bhabhi,u can eat wid me.
Toral(pleased dat her plan worked Tongue):Thanks a lot,Birwa!Come on,lets start.
Birwa is about to eat,wen a thought crosses her mind & she stops.
Toral:Wot happened?
Birwa(sad):Santu must b eatin alone in jail na?
Toral is not happy 2 hear dat.
Toral:"Y r u thinkin bout her?Leave it,she deserves to suffer!She fooled us all along & took an advantage of r love for her.Disgusting!Angry
Birwa sniffs.Toral checks herself.
Toral:Look Birwa,I know u wer really attached 2 her & so u miss her & feel bad 4 her.But u'll hav 2 accept da fact dat she is a murderer & dat she has killed ur brother.
Birwa:No,she has'nt.
Toral:Wot r u sayin,Birwa?She..
Birwa(sobbing):Papa's promise bhabhi,Santu Maa has not done anything.It was me who killed Arjan bhai.
Toral is shocked!Shocked
Birwa's words hit her hard.She feels her heartbeats racing,der r numerous 'sweat-beads' on her forehead & her body goes numb as da truth sinks in.She looks at Birwa & den hugs her tightly.Hug
 
Part 2
Santu is lyin down in her cell & staring blankly at da ceiling.
She thinks:Life has come a full circle for me.
She recalls how she used 2 sleep on da floor in da small room outside da house wen she was a new bride.Wen Maalik asked her 2 move to da guest room,she again slept on da floor.Wen dey wer in Baroda,she got a chance 2 sleep in da same room as Maalik.Embarrassed A smile crosses her lips wen she remembers how she slept wid Suraj & sang him a lullaby every night. Smile She blushes as she recalls her SR amidst da hay Blushing!And now,again she was back 2 square 1,i.e. sleepin on da floor.
She once told Maalik dat she was havin a terrible back ache.
*Flashback*
Santu is sitting on da bed & DM is massaging her back wid warm oil.
Santu:Aaah...Maalik!Dis pain has got worst now!!!Cry
DM:I told u in da morning itself,dat dont do too much of work,pan u didnt listen.
Santu:How can I rest Maalik?Hitenbhai's wedding is just round da corner.Der's so much of work to be done and..
DM:And u r d only 1 who knows to work,barabar ne?(ryt?)Angry
Santu:Its not lyk dat Maalik,but hw wil Champu manage all da work alone?Baa cant do too much work,Benbaa is not here,Kaddu's lukin after da finances ,Khemi benaa & Monghi are takin care of da decorations.But Champu has to do da household chores,plz rush 2 da market evry now & den,hw can she manage evrythin alone,u tell me?
DM is silent.
Santu:Aaah....aah...my back!Ouch
DM:I'm not tellin u 2 stop workin,just dont do too much of work,otherwise u'll hav 2 attend Hiten's wedding wid da back pain,khabar padi?(got it?)
Santu:Yes Maalik,I'll be careful frm 2mrw.
DM:Good!I'll ask Hiten 2 bring u da videshi lep(read ointment LOL)2mrw.U'll get quick relief after applyin it.
Santu:Thankoo Maalik!
DM:Chaal,chaal have unghi ja. (Come on,go 2 sleep now)
Santu gets up & puts a coir mattress on da floor.
DM:Aa su kare che? (Wot r u doin?)
Santu:Maalik,m not used 2 da soft gaadla na,so if I sleep on da bed,it will aggravate my backpain .
DM:Samjhi gayo,u sit here.
He makes Santu sit on da bed.
Santu:Maalik...
DM:Bes,bes,be
minute. (Sit here for 2 minutes)
He straightens da mattress & puts 2 pillows & 2 bedsheets on it.
Santu:Maalik...aap kyun? (Y r u...)Shocked
DM:Rehva de.(leave it)Havey,u need 2 sleep on da floor & I need 2 sleep close 2 u.EmbarrassedSo,dis is da best solution!
Santu:But Maalik,hw wil u sleep on da floor,I mean..
DM:Dnt worry bout me,cum..
He holds her hand & helps her sit & den lie on da mattress.Den he turns off da lights & lies down beside her.
DM:Le.. havey tu bhi khush ne main bhi khush! Smile(Now,u r also happy & m also happy)
*Flashback ends*
Santu thinks:U wer so kind,Maalik!U love me so much!HeartStill,I hav 2 keep myself away frm u.I hav to giv u so much kasht.Forgive me,Maalik,plz forgive me!
She closes her eyes & tears roll down her cheeks
.
 
Part 3
Birwa narrates da entire incident of Arjan's death to
Toral.
Toral
has tears in her eyes.She admonishes herself for not havin faith in Santu & cursing her.D'oh
Toral:Look Birwa,1 thing shud b clear to u.U r not a MURDERER.Wotever u hav done was 2 save Papa.Had u not stopped Arjan bhai,Papa wudnt hav been wid us 2day.
Birwa shrugs.
Toral:U hav defended ur father by killing Arjan bhai,ok?ClapStop seeing urself as a murderer.
She wipes Birwa's tears.
Birwa:Bhabhi,cant v do anything 2 end her imprisonment?
Toral:I dunno,may b ur Hitenbhai..
Birwa:No bhabhi, Shocked plz,dnt tell ne1 abt dis..If Papa cums 2 knw,he'll be furious wid me & send me behind da bars,I dnt wanna go 2 jail,
bhabhi.Cry
Toral:Come on,Birwa,y will he do dat?
Birwa hugs her.
Birwa:No,no bhabhi,plz,plz dnt tell any1.
Toral senses her fear regarding da prison.
Toral:Ohk,I wnt tell ne1.Relax!
She gives her a glass of water.
Toral:But den,u'll hav 2 cm 2 terms wid da reality.Santu will stay behind da bars 4 da next 10 yrs..Accept it
Birwa.
Birwa
looks really sad.Cry
Toral:Do u knw y she did it?So dat her daughter can lead a normal life.She wants u 2 study well,get good grades & make her proud!Den u can join hands wid ur brothers & help dem run da business.But for all dis,u hav 2 go 2
Baroda..
Birwa shakes her head.Disapprove
Toral:Yes Birwa,u hav 2 go.U r 14 nw.Da next 3 yrs r very crucial for u.If u dnt get good marks in ur HSC den ur career wil go down da drain & so wil Santu's sacrifice.Do u want dat?
Birwa:No
.
Toral:
U want her 2 b proud of u wen she cms back,ryt?
Birwa nods.
Toral:So starting 2mrw,bcum a responsible daughter. Clap Dis is ur chance 2 pay Santu back.
Birwa smiles.
Toral:Dats lyk a good daughter!
She kisses her forehead.Big smile
Toral:Lets eat now,m so... hungry.
 
Part 4
Toral cums down & is surprised 2 see Ba,Bapuji in da hall/living room.
Baa:Did she eat?
Toral:Yes,she did!
Baa:Thank God!
Toral:Wait,Baa der's more!
Bapuji:Wot now?
Toral:She has agreed 2 go 2 Baroda!
Baa-Bapuji are really happy!Smile
Baa:Thank you Toral!God Bless u!
Toral smiles
.
Toral:
But Baa,why r u both still awake?Any problems?
Baa:No problems,beta.We wer jst tryin 2 contact Virat,bt his phone is cumin busy.
Toral:In dat case,y dnt u call him 2mrw?
Bapuji:I told her da same thing,but..
Baa:No beta,I'm very worried bout Suraj .I dunno if Surekha has managed 2 put him 2 sleep or not.Dats y...
Toral:Ohk..I'll just cm
Baa.
She hands over da plates 2 Champu & cums back 2 da hall.
Toral:Lemme try Surekha Maasi's no.
Baa:No,no.She must b wid
Suraj.
Toral
:In dat case,lets talk 2 him!U'll also feel better & so will he.Relax Baa!Smile
She dials Surekha's cell no.Virat picks it up.
Virat:Jai Shri Krishna!
Toral:Jai Shri Krishna!Pranam Masaji!
Viral:Oh Toral
..Be happy bahu!I thought it was
Baa.
Toral
:U r ryt,she's da 1 who desparately wanted 2 talk 2 u!
Virat:I know,wer is she?
Toral:She's ryt here,just wait a sec.
Baa:Virat!Hw is Suraj?
Virat:Jai Shri Krishna,Baa!Dnt worry,he's fine.
Baa:Jai Shri Krishna!Thank God!Did he eat properly?Has he slept?
Virat:Yes Baa!I & Surekha wer watchin cartoon films wid him since morning,den we took him 2 da mela(fair) in da eve.All dis distracted him successfully!
Baa:Good!
Virat:Now Surekha's putting him 2 sleep.Dont worry Baa,v r managing fine.Surekha's in 7th heaven since Suraj has cm here!DancingI've not seen her so happy 4 a long tym!I'm thinkin of visitin u in a few days.Suraj will also b happy!
Baa:I wantd 2 tell u just dat,beta.Day after Hiten wil cm 2 pick Suraj up.
Virat:Great!Ask him 2 hav dinner wid us.
Baa:I will,but.. he'll take Suraj wid him.Shanky & Kaddu r takin Suraj & Birwa 2 Baroda.
Virat bcums sad.
Virat:I... see..
Baa:I leave it 2 u 2 explain dis stuff 2 Surekha.Dnt mind beta,but if Suraj stays in D'pur,smday or da odr,he'l want 2 cm back here & I dont want dat,hence I'm sending him alongwid Birwa.
Virat:I understand.Dnt worry BaaStern Smile! I'll talk 2 her now.
Baa:Jai Shri Krishna!Take care beta!
Virat:I will,u too tk cr Baa.Jai Shri Krishna!
Virat thinks:Hw will I tell Surekha all dis?She's so happy 2 hav him here!God,help me wid dis!It'll break her heart.Wot do I do?Confused
-----------------------------------------------------------THE END-----------------------------------------------
Precap:
Toral:Wer is Hiten?
Champu:He went smwer sm 10 minutes back.He told me he'll be back in an hour's tym.
Toral:Fine,u carry on wid ur work.Smile
After Champu leaves,Toral says 2 herself:Wer cud Hiten go at dis tym?ErmmY didnt he tell me about it?
 
Thanks for reading!Thumbs Up
Luv,
Apara.....
 
 

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Ayushi_01

Goldie

Ayushi_01

Joined: 21 November 2007

Posts: 1549

Posted: 07 February 2010 at 11:15pm | IP Logged

Apara kya story likhi hai...............just tooooooooo goood................will wait for your third edition...........................btw welcome to Bandini forum...........Hug

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