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From the depth of a dark heart:The consequence (Page 4)

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Goldie

-serenity-

Joined: 02 October 2009

Posts: 2159

Posted: 20 February 2010 at 5:37am | IP Logged
Hiii sur....
how r u?
I amso sorry dear ....maine is baar bahut late hun apni comment dene main
For the part :forgiven
its an awesome story  Clap    Clap   Clap   Clapn    u have written her  emotions  so beautifully
i really hate n i will never  forgive  such men who cheats  their wifes...but she  forgived that man for his temptations...n that man he never tried to understand his wife...n he is content of having more than one woman in his life...
I liked it when she said that  he took it as an improved realtion ship n she took it an nonexistent one
good work sur Clap  Clap   Clap
 

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Sur_10

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-serenity-

Goldie

-serenity-

Joined: 02 October 2009

Posts: 2159

Posted: 20 February 2010 at 6:06am | IP Logged
Another fabulous story from u sur  Clap   Clap   Clap   Clap....loved this one also
Their bond  their understnading ..how their relationship  progressed from acquaintence to  being friends ....n the way she took care of him when he was going through the  bad phase in his life...every thing u descibed so beautifully
 
i really liked it when she said that dont think too much about it..every thing is great the way it is..n i dont want any  thing from u
he knows that he is going to die .. he is not scared  about that but he is concerned for her..n her saying i wont let u die ..u have written that last scene so nicely  Clap   Clap   Clap   Clap
 
great work sur n u r thinking  its a crap .....how can u say that these wonderful stories r crap...u know how much i love  to read these os...n sach kahun to i am waiting to read some more....so dont stop writting ..but not now..after your exams finished
byee
take care n do well in the exams
 
 
 

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Sur_10

Sur_10

Goldie

Sur_10

Joined: 23 August 2009

Posts: 1838

Posted: 21 February 2010 at 3:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sumaiya wahid

*smack* *smack* *smack*......akkal thikane pe ayi ya aur lagau??? hehe us time a gai thi...lekin ab maths ka paper that...aur mera sir dard ho raha tha-thats why mene time waste kia 4 din baad exam hai....and madam apko kuch nahi pata.....well....ye quite common hai....lekin inn sabke bawjud nayi story likhna?? This was really insane Sur!!! i know yaar...par mera dimag kharab hai! u know that! But I wont say its abnormal....coz main bhi aisa kar chuki hu....LOLLOL.... whoa! lekin iska anjaam kuch zyada achha nahi tha....samjhi???DeadDead anjam bahut bura hua- 20 no. ka blank chod ayiDead Isiliye madam....agar baad me pachtana nahi hai to abhi jake padhayi shuru karo....turant!!! ok mam!

Phew!! Abhi main iss 'The End' pe ati hu....I am now in short of words....seriously Sur!! I cud feel the emotions passing by too well.....and I cud feel the agony n helplessness as well......I so wished to wipe away the truth.....I so wished to knw that it was all fake.....but then nothing was!!! It was all true n it had to end!!! yeah...a bit depressing isnt it? u wud come up the same kind of stuff if u have ur xamsLOL

Gosh Sur....even this tym I was engrossed....but at the same tym....I had this strange serene feeling.....donno wat was that or even why was that.....but it was just there....and it felt so lovely!!! im glad u liked it dear!

I liked a dialogue....batao kaunsa??? Hehe....quite obvious....I loved him saying...."The way u behave I sumtyms feel that u love me"....and then her saying "Is it that obvious?".....it was soooo cute!!! And even in the tension....even in the scary feeling of losing....I cud feel the sweetness of their relationship.....it was just awesum!!! wen u have someone so special, i dont think anything can scare u!

And abt Forgiven.....well when I was replying to that....I was half not in my senses....seriously....lolz....and there by her forgiveness I had partially meant the fact that she didnt do anything against his betrayal.....I cud not actually put down wat I wanted to say....but u definitely did it for me....I was trying to say that....she chose the easiest or perhaps the most convenient way....as u said.Smile i know that yaar...u see, once a person loses a place in ur heart, u dont care abt it

Anyways.....now u stop ur gr8 karigari for sumtym....keep it on hold....rock the xams....and then cum bak wid these brilliant writings!!! Till then....I so dont want to read anything from u (its really hard to say yaarDead)...... hehe dekho maths k paper k 1 din pehle ye post kia! but i didnt write anuthing after that for atleast a week!

Now bye....take care....and do well in the xams.... thanku!

Luv,
Sumi.Tongue


Edited by Sur_Singhania - 23 February 2010 at 2:13am

Sur_10

Goldie

Sur_10

Joined: 23 August 2009

Posts: 1838

Posted: 21 February 2010 at 3:31am | IP Logged
Originally posted by _.serendipity._

Originally posted by Sur_Singhania

.... And Im glued 2 my computer, writing absolute crap which Im going 2 post here for u guys 2 endure... 
 
Where's the crap, Sur?you missed it? too bad!!! When I read what you wrote, I was so looking forward to reading crap, and all I found was a brilliant, extremely moving and evocative piece of writing!!
How disappointing! LOL  really...hey thanks a lot for the compliment dear!im sooo happy u liked it!
Aww, I'm so sad it's the end. You must write more (after your exams)!! But I must say, it's a beautiful ending. I loved it!! Great, great work! Well done!! Clap Clap Clap hehe cudnt resist again...was losing my head
All the best for your exams! I'm sure you'll rock Star thanks alot dear!
reserved

Edited by Sur_Singhania - 26 February 2010 at 5:45am

Sur_10

Goldie

Sur_10

Joined: 23 August 2009

Posts: 1838

Posted: 21 February 2010 at 3:32am | IP Logged
Originally posted by princessyogitha

Hiii sur.... hi Yogitha!!! 
how r u? xams k baad bi zinda hu, its feat 2 achieve!
I amso sorry dear ....maine is baar bahut late hun apni comment dene main no problem dear, jab time mile tab comment karo!
For the part :forgiven
its an awesome story  Clap    Clap   Clap   Clapn    u have written her  emotions  so beautifully im glad u liked it
i really hate n i will never  forgive  such men who cheats  their wifes...but she  forgived that man for his temptations...n that man he never tried to understand his wife...n he is content of having more than one woman in his life... even i do...men think women are 2 b used nd thrown away! nd this one is an idiot.
I liked it when she said that  he took it as an improved realtion ship n she took it an nonexistent one lolz, thanks
good work sur Clap  Clap   Clap thanku for commenting!!!
 


Edited by Sur_Singhania - 26 February 2010 at 5:49am

Sur_10

Goldie

Sur_10

Joined: 23 August 2009

Posts: 1838

Posted: 21 February 2010 at 3:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by princessyogitha

Another fabulous story from u sur  Clap   Clap   Clap   Clap....loved this one also thanku dear..personally even i like this one
Their bond  their understnading ..how their relationship  progressed from acquaintence to  being friends ....n the way she took care of him when he was going through the  bad phase in his life...every thing u descibed so beautifully we dont even realise wen people become important in our life....
 
i really liked it when she said that dont think too much about it..every thing is great the way it is..n i dont want any  thing from u well, true love has no expectations u see
he knows that he is going to die .. he is not scared  about that but he is concerned for her..n her saying i wont let u die ..u have written that last scene so nicely  Clap   Clap   Clap   Claphe understands wat it means 2 her...and thnx for the compliment again!
 
great work sur n u r thinking  its a crap .....how can u say that these wonderful stories r crap...u know how much i love  to read these os...n sach kahun to i am waiting to read some more....so dont stop writting ..but not now..after your exams finished well, the condition in which i wrote it was pretty bad. thanx alot for liking it!
byee
take care n do well in the exams thanx!!!
 
 
 
resrved

Edited by Sur_Singhania - 26 February 2010 at 5:51am

Sur_10

Goldie

Sur_10

Joined: 23 August 2009

Posts: 1838

Posted: 21 February 2010 at 3:36am | IP Logged
Footprints

I walk on the beach, my feet leaving imprints in the wet sand. Waves lash against my soles, washing the sand from beneath them and then replacing it. I always enjoyed walking here feeling the waves hit me. Sometimes I am feeling too daring I wade in knee length water, testing my guts. The waves were strangely calm today, moving to and fro lazily instead of lashing with vigor. This was another reason why I love this place. The waves constantly matched my mood. When I am sad and troubled, they reflect my anxiety by being furious and threatening, as though my inner turmoil had materialized and dancing in front of me. When I am happy, they dance to my heartbeats, celebrating alongside. I can talk to the ocean forever, receiving silent replies and acknowledgement. This could be called as first symptoms of madness, talking to water, but I resist. The changing shades of the sea- deep blue, green and the strange mixture of red, violet and orange, I could never define, beckon me towards itself.

But the main reason why I fell in love with this particular stretch of coast is you. From all the famous sea shores I have seen in my career of navy, this small, ordinary one is the most special. The magical moments when you held my hand as we walked along the shore seem even more real when I come here. I agree that having you in my life, even though for a few months in my life was a pure stroke of luck. I never thought I would have ever progressed on from watching you discreetly sitting in the high school canteen. You sat at your favorite seat, just next to window, and I used to occupy the one near the door, exactly diagonal. You were quite popular, I later realized but never fell into the category of Casanovas, no matter how many girls tried to woo you. I can't remember exactly how we became friends but I think it had something to do with a field trip. We had never exchanged spoken commitments but your gestures slowly graduated from being brotherly and friendly to romantic. I went along with everything you offered, without suspecting even once how all those things were my favorites. When we used to walk across this beach, I would keep staring at our interlocked hands, as you recited poems based on the ocean. Your right hand had a small vertical mark I was rather fond of. Your voice deep and rhythmic combined seamlessly with the sound of waves and could beat any kind of music. I used to make it a point to walk a few feet away from the waves then, because I did not like to see the waves wash off our footprints. You found this rather amusing and when you asked me why, my answer was, "Because if I ever lose you, I will come here and follow these footsteps and they will lead me to you." You gladly distanced from the waves.

Many years have passed since that little conversation. We had parted ways after a year or so when high school ended. It did not hurt much because I think we both knew that we would meet again one day. I have been into many relationships since then, all of them intended to last forever. I don't know where you are but a strange nostalgia overpowers me whenever I visit this city. I never bothered to go to my old home, or school. This small stretch of secluded beach held magnetic attractions for me. I try to find your footsteps, but fail. Maybe I wasn't careful enough and the waves did wash them off' I raise my eyes from the sand and look up- to see you standing a few feet away from me, smiling. Spectacles look good on you. My lips form a fascinated smile as you move towards me and hold out your hand. I notice the same mark on your hand. I extend my hand to touch yours and my sudden suspicion of seeing hallucinations fade away. You pull me to your side and we start walking. You look puzzled as I wade into the water fearlessly. I answer you shifting closer, "I am not going to lose you now'" your smile widens.



Edited by Sur_Singhania - 21 February 2010 at 9:39am

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rashikoradia_.serendipity._valliyah-serenity-ammygurlA-N-S-H-I-K-A

_.serendipity._

Senior Member

_.serendipity._

Joined: 14 October 2009

Posts: 231

Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:21am | IP Logged
Oh I thought your previous piece was the last, because it was called 'The End' Embarrassed .. but yeah, I guess that was just the title LOL And I'm soooo glad I got it wrong!!!! Big smile Dancing
It was lovely to read your latest! This is brilliant, Sur!! This has got to be your BEST piece so far!! I can't even describe how much I love it. Especially the way you used images of waves! Ooh, and the way he came back! I'm seriously running out of words here. Your writing  is .. magical!! StarStarStar
Write on, Sur!
 
Ps. Hope your exams went well?

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Sur_10

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