What is...."a SANSKAARI BAHU ? " - Page 3

Originally posted by: FAMS

 

Thanks Anjali, a very nice take on this question, but I would like to have answer from opthers also lets see what different opinions others have about it. . .

Welcome yaar...Fouzia, if u want to get a variety of opinions, probably best to make it a discussion topic...it is a very valid one in context of what happened on Friday on the show...😊
Edited by Nandalala - 14 years ago

hey renu Edited by sanw - 14 years ago

Originally posted by: FAMS

Seriously guys I want an answer to this question of |Renu, what should a girl do if the husband is unsupportive & mad?

an interesting question... let me put across what is coming into my mind..

akshara's case here, she is at fault ( as per the majority of members here) to me she is not, as i feel that every individual has the right to keep what they wanted to keep.. and say what they wanted to say... getting married to a person does not mean that you confide each and everything to him.. it cannot be called as a trust either.. it is an individual freedom.. having said that, looking into the over all situation, naitik's sister who falls in love with his childhood friend who also younger to her..

naitik should have more understanding towards the situation than akshara.. now question here is husband is Unsupportive... why should he support askahra here?? he don't needed to.. first of all she didn't tell him to support her.. 2nd issue is lying to him, why should he support her lie?? i cannot find any reason for naitik to support her.. and to me akshara took a right decision to leave the house, because there is no pointing in arguing on her mistakes.. as he is not willing to listen.. so giving a time gap is always a good decision, so that things will cool down, with a peaceful mind decide what is next..

Husband is unsupportive- why he is unsupportive reason for this action is very important, look into it, if husband is right then accept his unsupportive action, if not, find a way out to a problem, like what akshara did.. if the love betn hus/ wife is genuine it can be sorted out..

if he is mad - divorce him, or adjust yourself to become a mother theresa..

😆 😆Edited by lathika4u - 14 years ago

Sanskari bahi ki baat to teek hai all want akshra to be a sanskari bahu bt do u thnk naitik respects others value ..............and he deserves a wife like akshara.........he has disrespected her...................insulted her...............so do u guys thnk naitik has those so called sanskar...............are these sanskars omly for girls i mean or bahu and not for boys................

wat more can be expected from singhanias....n DJ...mad house they are.... 😡 😡 .........

Originally posted by: karandeewani

wat more can be expected from singhanias....n DJ...mad house they are.... 😡 😡 .........

i agree di..

Originally posted by: Nandalala

Renu, u bring up a very interesting topic...I think the present track on the show has highlighted a few key issues when it comes to sanskaars & the double standards regarding them even within a family...

On the one hand, we have robotic, "sanskaari" Akshara who is trying to follow the mentals' dictates to a T, but stumbles from time to time (going to her mayka, supporting a romance, albeit her own s-i-l's, putting too much mirchi in the food); on the other hand, u have her husband, who was brought up by a supposedly "sanskaari" bahu, Gma...this is a man, not a boy now, who is impetuous, impulsive, has to have everything his way...he values traditions-'parampara' when it is ok by him; he respects others when it is convenient for him...who, in the recent weeks, has berated his own wife not only in front of his own immediate family, but extended family as well.  For being from such a "sanskaari" family, is munna a shining example of how sanskaars are passed on from one generation to the next?  Is this something to be proud of?  Is this a pat on the back for the so- called "sanskaari" bahu who raised this man?


I think the Maheshwaris have a much better handle on sanskaars & practicing the same...does the fact that Varsha does not wear a pallu, make her less sanskaari?  Does Shaurya's suggesting he take Varsha out for a movie make him less sanskaari?  Of course not.  It just goes to show that while sanskaars are an essential part of our culture, having certain freedoms like going to u r mayka, or not wearing a pallu, or being educated, does not change one's values, one's upbringing...

In fact, as YR has shown us, families like the mental Singhanias will always have to contend with rebellion from generation to generation because their expectations r too unrealistic & there is no latitude for living within the modern times.  Case in point here is Nandini.  As Nishi mentioned, she was completely aware of her family's views on illicit romance & relationships yet she did not stop herself or warn Akshara about the consequences of her moving forward with Mohit.  In my view, this is a form of rebellion on Nandini's part.  Had she had the freedom to talk openly to anyone in her family with who she was supposedly so close to (Gma being the closest confidant to her), she could have told them about her feelings.  Instead, she clung to the newcomer in the family, who was as helpless as she was in this situation.

There has to be a happy medium between traditions, values & morals within the context of society at large. This is absolutely true for the bahu who will one day have her children & bring up those children to carry on the family name & impart "sanskaars" to them.  In my opinion, Gma has failed in this regard, both when it comes to herself & her son...I would be embarrassed if my son behaved the way Naitik did with his own wife, FOR ANY REASON. Her supporting Naitik & turning her back on Akshara just goes to show that even as an elder, the very essence of being "sanskaari"- of having values, of being honest, of being respectful-is only in words, not in deed...practicing what u preach is dead here!

 

well said anji....👏....very very valid point.......about Gma's sanskaars.....