hi, I m one of the griefest souls of the world who born just to face sorrows in her life. I m 25 years old now. friends, I m really confused and helpless. I need your suggessions. pls help me..........plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
I was kinda different girl frm my chilhood. the major reason was the way I brought up. I m a reserved girl, a very good student. I was always bz wid my studies. I was a too loonely chaild which made me reseved day by day due to sm of my family rrason. I was ntkeen to get married when I finally got married in my age 24, 11 months ago. Im frm a rich family, and he is nt that rich. he is very handsome fair gye whr I m nt that pretty (bt nt ugky either), nt that fair girl. it was an arranged marrg. many of my realtives tell that their interested to get him mariied to me is coz I m only daughterof my father and their son will get this property thru me. and I found tis fact true in some instance in my later life. I hv one younger bro.
firstly, I really like that man, he was 34. he seems really a soft sober person. but after the engagement of 2 months, I came to knowthat he had lied to me about his studies. he told me he is an mba and doing job in a bank. bt then I came to knw that he had left mba 2 years ago. I ws so shocked and it broke my trust on him b4 marriage. gradualy I found out him as a very lazy person wid no, no ambition in his life. I dint like this at all. tough I m nt greedy bt I dint want my husband to be so lazy! after that I really dint want to marry him. bt he showed to me that he stated love me like a crazy man and made me understd that after marrieage he will start his mba again. he promised my parents too about this. seeing his talk and confidence, my parents blamed me and advised me to marry him. innitially I was not at all agree bt laeron I compromised. and I try to take my marriage pleasantly thinking that he has promised me to start mba, so try to be happy, as he loves me so much!
after marrige, all the troubles began. I found out that he lied to me and my parents about his mba. he is nt showing any interest rather try to ignore the fact. I remind him about his promise to my parents bt he just ignored that. though he never misbehaved wid me, bt I could nt take this at all. besides, he alwas make excuse that he has not that much money as he sud have coz he had taken too many loans for marriage and it will take him around 7 years to meet that loan. to spend maximum small spending, he started showing the reason. I got so heart broken. I m nt such girl that spend too much. bt still I had to face this!
but after three months I could nt tolerate and asked him to go for a doctor. bt he dint take this seriously. again I presserized. then he went. bt he yet dint recover. and I found out that he can only do aftertaking medicine. naturally, maximum time he cant do. in this way 1o months passed. in this time I never found him to be seriousfor this problem. he had no concern to go to a doctor, take medicine. alwys I had to push him. it made me mad literally day by day. again after 8 months ofmarrg, i forced him to admit for mba. here also I had to encourage him to study, otherws he he showed no desire to get wid book.
I become upset day by day thinking that I had to compromise for his study, his lazyness and most of all physical problem. I let my parents about this after 6 months of these. and now I came to know that he has lied me little bit more. he told me that he is a double masters in study. bt now I know he is a single masters wid a 3rd division. tis news made me just crazy!!!! again, he loves me bt he often lied to me wid small matters like any type opf his family matters or other which made me annoyed too.
the problem is that, my husband always show his love and affection for me. I could nt doubt on this matter. seeing his so much love, I could nt think bout divorce although he has this physical prob. coz to me, mental satisfaction is more important than physical. he always gave his full attention of him to me. bt the big fact is, even though I cud nt love him never after marrg which I thought I cud be when I was getting married to him.
bt recenty when I came to know about his masters degree, I could nt take it well. I left my in-laws house. coz now I dont trust him at all. now I cant bt help to think that as he has so many weak points, may be he had no other way to show me his immense love so that I cant think to leave him. now I suspect his every deeds. coz to me, he was never a man with great personality as he does not give weight to his own words. so the respect, the trust I need to have on my husband is very tough now for me. my mother is telling that I sud give him divorce nw only bcoz his physical prob.
and now I m upset wid evry thing which he showed, like his loan, study, lazyness, physical prob. Yet just one thing make me think, m I doing any sin by giving him divorce by telling all that he has physical prob. coz it wud diswon him and his family in the society. bt wout this the divorce cant be easy to get. other reasons will nt be allowed for a divorce. bt again, tis man has also given so much love to me. if his love for me is rally true, then is this divoprce wud be wrong????
bt I know if I again go there, the quarrel will again start and we wud never be happy as though he loves me, bt he is not that type of man who will try to change himself. which again make me doubt is he really love me? being the only daughter, I know my parents will be shattered in this older stage. they had so many dreams wid thir only daughter. whenever I think bout them, I feel I sud go there again after clearing the fact that hence he will try to change him. he will hv to promise infront of my all elder family members. bt then I think, is nt it wrong? I hv to live wid him in such a sorrow!!!
as I m very reseved woman, I think I wont find any partner larer life coz I cant get frinedly wid ppl so easily. may be I wud hv to livemy life alone forever. may be if any one comes, he wud nt be so loveable as my present husband is. *******EDITED*********
I beared these so many days, bt after this incident, it wud be not that easy. and why sud I hv to face so many things. he has nt to face anyhting, he is getting wealth by me, I hv no physical prob. I m highly welleducated. then??????sud I really divorce him? pls heklp me. I think I will suicide. my brain is nt working. pls suggest me
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I've edited out some parts from the post as minors visit IF too, and now I'm closing the post.
Next time if you like to discuss your problems, please do so in Advice Corner and please don't post any content that's sexually explicit. It's an open forum and families and kids visit it.
Edited by -Mystery- - 15 January 2010 at 10:40pm