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False Mirror - Part 3- The Final Part Pg 8 (Page 6)

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SunainaTM007

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SunainaTM007

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Posted: 17 March 2010 at 9:13am | IP Logged
edited my post on page 5 :)

Edited by SunainaTM007 - 17 March 2010 at 9:13am

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-Aria-

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-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 19 March 2010 at 6:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Prasanthi

Reserved :D
 
edit:
 
The flashes or feel of someone close to us always lingers around us. No matter what we do to deny this still, that someone is there and will be there. She lost in him and he in her is so well put by you A. The subtle acceptance and revelation from both is just so good!


Absolutely.

Thank you

A

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 19 March 2010 at 6:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Angel-Pebby

will be back soon! :)

*edit*

This was short... but I loved every bit of it! The poem actually touched my heart..and sure thing, I'm gonna check out many works of the poet.

It's just going great, but I just reach in a different place...whenever I read this!!

One of the best-est works I've ever read!!

Continue soon! Wink


Awwww....Thank you so much Angel !!!

A


Edited by olive_green - 19 March 2010 at 6:45pm

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 19 March 2010 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Sookie-

I am in mood for micro-commenting.

Clap


spammer!


Edited by olive_green - 19 March 2010 at 6:44pm

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 19 March 2010 at 6:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sur_Singhania

Hey Aria

again a beautiful piece of work. Choce of poem was very good, I loved it.
The subtle remembrance and lonliness was very well expressed. The contrast of the spring outside and void in her heart was beautiful.
Thanx a lot for the pm
Keep up the good work
Sur


Welcome to the thread Sur. And Thank you so much, you said it brilliantly there - the contrast of the spring outside and the void in her heart- spot on. Hope to hear more from you...in the future. And do read Pablo's if you ever get the time, would love to read what you think of it.

A

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 19 March 2010 at 6:46pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aish_punk

hey aria..sweet part..
 
even though he's not there..she feels he is and is reminded of him. thats pretty sweet but sad too.
 
he sees her n finds her to be like him..
 
update soon
 
-aish


Thanks Aish, yes even though they are apart, they are still closer than they think they are. It's sad..

A

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 19 March 2010 at 6:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by SunainaTM007

*reserved :) :)
 
*edit*
 
Heyyyyyyyyy Aria !! Hug
 
Congrats on ur new thread !!... hmm, this one seems like an interesting and intriguing concept !! and i'm liking this new genre your venturing into !!
 

Welcome to this thread Sunaina, it sure is good to see you here tooHug and Thank you for your words of encouragement - this genre is not something I am too comfortable with so this is truly an experimental piece in that sense...

Part I:
I particularly loved ur style of penning the part and describing the emotions of both of them :)
Her thoughts abt how their relationship turned out to be... her sadness that they lived like strangers now, her longing for him ... it was put forth beautifully !! They had been ripped apart into he and she and their world had ceased to be. Forever. That one hurt, forever was a wrong word, how long was this life going to be, forever? i really loved these set of lines... they had soo much of depth and emotion Embarrassed  Mine too.Embarrassed I feel like its got a weird rhythmic feel to it, may be thats just me...but its so true isn't it - the moment two people go their ways - their world ceases to be. In this case, something has forced them apart and thats sad esp for her because she is truly helpless - see what I mean about this not being my genre - I still cannot go all out and separate themLOL

then him leaning against to hear what he longed to, and the part where the horses came in was penned sooo vividly... could actually picturise few flying horses before my eyes :) and then both their thoughts through the race !!... really fab penning aria ! loving this one already !!Big smile You have no idea how happy I am to read this. For I see something similar when I read and when I wrote this, imagine standing on a hill overlooking a valley with the sky lit up in a dazzling reddish hue...while the sun burns with a warm glow at the horizon as it sets behind the hills far away. Close your eyes, and inhale the fresh air slowy as you open your arms...horses or people, they blur at this point for me...but I was thrilled to read your reaction.

 
Part II :
again, one more beautiful part from u Aria !!... you definitely are one talented writer !!:D
the description of the day, as seen from her eyes.. the beautiful scenery that was created by your words !! Awesome !
and both of them feeling the presence of the other !! awww, the subtlety of it all, him lost in her and her in him, was soooo sooo beautifully written !!

Awww...Thank you for being so generous with your compliments! I love to write as it helps me unwind and relax- and reading all these comments truly makes my day. Once again , you got it spot on...
 
Awesome penning Aria !
thanks for the pm !


Edited by olive_green - 19 March 2010 at 6:58pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

SunainaTM007

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 19 March 2010 at 7:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Sookie-

For me, the poem and the context did not match. I love the piece, no doubt there but I cannot connect it to spring. The disjointedness is too much and the dichotomy is glaringly obvious.
Personally, I would have loved an autumn poem here.

Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
  Think not of them, thou hast thy music too, -
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
  And touch the stubble plains with rosy hue;
  Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
  Among the river sallows, borne aloft
     Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
This came to my mind when I read the piece. :-)

I think its my general bias towards autumn LOL

Sookie



As you have your P-bias I have mine. I prefer spring and the scenery is nothing but spring! Now is this just a difference in perspective because we both are seeing the same leafless trees - while I see the tiny buds, and call it spring, may be you choose to ignore that and call it autumn - but the fact remains - you still saw the lake and the barren trees and this is enough to make me smile. Even in the disjointedness that you claim, surely you couldn't have missed the glaring disjointedness between the scenery in her heart and the one around her!

No I don't hate autumn but I prefer spring - for you can't get to it before spring arrives.

A


Edited by olive_green - 19 March 2010 at 7:50pm

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-Sookie-

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