Writers Corner

   

False Mirror - Part 3- The Final Part Pg 8 (Page 5)

Post Reply New Post

Page 5 of 9

Page 1 Page 4
Page   of 9
Page 6 Page 9

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3826

Posted: 16 March 2010 at 10:09pm | IP Logged

Eternity

 

A light exists in spring
Not present on the year
At any other period.
When March is scarcely here

 

A color stands abroad
On solitary hills
That science cannot overtake,
But human naturefeels.

It waits upon the lawn;
It shows the furthest tree
Upon the furthest slope we know;
It almost speaks to me.

Then, as horizons step,
Or noons report away,
Without the formula of sound,
It passes, and we stay:

(A Light Exists in Spring - Emily Dickinson)

 

She closed the book and placed it on the wooden bench, and stared out to the vast lake in front of her. It was that time of the year -time when nature came alive refreshed with a new vigor. There was life in those trees that surrounded this beautiful lake, in the green grass that was beginning to peep through the melting snow, in the pleasant chirping of the birds or the way the colors of the sun's rays shone through those scattered clouds in the sky with an unmistakable bright dazzle. There was ample evidence of life in the laughter of children as they ran around the lake, or those swans that had come back to reclaim their space, nothing however could make the spring return in her heart. The sound of her beating heart was the only evidence of her being alive – to her she was a living dead and so there was spring everywhere except where she stood.

His words kept echoing in her head over and over again –

 

when you get there, on top of that ridge, listen carefully when you fly- they whisper in your ears and caress your wings  and as you descend they will kiss your lips...

 

and yet he never came nor did that kiss, all that was left behind was this void in her heart carried by one lonely soul and an empty bench beside her wherever she went. By now, the tears had dried, and she had turned emotionless but what remained was that loneliness that refused to let her go – and him that she refused to let go of.

 

The diamond in her ring had an unusual sparkle today, March 21st she whispered temporarily getting lost in its sparkle, it was their day and this was their spot, he had promised to be here every year. Yet she stood alone here today.

 

when you get there, on top of that ridge, listen carefully when you fly- they whisper in your ears and caress your wings  and as you descend they will kiss your lips...

 

Suddenly a soothing breeze hit her face, and his words came back again…she was startled, for it felt like his touch- upon her skin! And it felt like an eternity had passed...since the last.

 

~~~~~

 

He stood at the window looking out curiously to the beautiful day. He had not seen the sky as richly blue in the longest time, nor had he seen the lake as it looked today. The ice had melted and suddenly the white cover of snow had made way for green everywhere- this abundance of life, almost magically conjured up overnight. His mind failed to make the connection. Then out of nowhere, a peculiar image from across the lake caught his fancy; there he saw a seated figure, in solitude – he felt touched by the image. May be she was lost like me, he concluded.



Edited by olive_green - 16 March 2010 at 10:15pm

The following 8 member(s) liked the above post:

Rita.CbushrayouSur_10ScatteredCastle-Sookie-SunainaTM007Prasanthiaish_punk

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "False Mirror - Part 3- The Final Part Pg 8 (Page 5)" in Writers Corner forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

Prasanthi

IF-Rockerz

Prasanthi

Joined: 24 June 2008

Posts: 5421

Posted: 16 March 2010 at 10:17pm | IP Logged
Reserved :D
 
edit:
 
The flashes or feel of someone close to us always lingers around us. No matter what we do to deny this still, that someone is there and will be there. She lost in him and he in her is so well put by you A. The subtle acceptance and revelation from both is just so good!


Edited by Prasanthi - 16 March 2010 at 10:49pm

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-Aria-

ScatteredCastle

IF-Dazzler

ScatteredCastle

Joined: 04 February 2010

Posts: 2559

Posted: 16 March 2010 at 11:55pm | IP Logged
will be back soon! :)

*edit*

This was short... but I loved every bit of it! The poem actually touched my heart..and sure thing, I'm gonna check out many works of the poet.

It's just going great, but I just reach in a different place...whenever I read this!!

One of the best-est works I've ever read!!

Continue soon! Wink

Edited by Angel-Pebby - 17 March 2010 at 12:22am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-Aria-

-Sookie-

IF-Dazzler

-Sookie-

Joined: 09 January 2009

Posts: 2518

Posted: 17 March 2010 at 12:45am | IP Logged
I am in mood for micro-commenting.

Clap


Edited by -Sookie- - 17 March 2010 at 12:50am

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

Sur_10Prasanthi

Sur_10

Goldie

Sur_10

Joined: 23 August 2009

Posts: 1836

Posted: 17 March 2010 at 1:31am | IP Logged

Hey Aria

again a beautiful piece of work. Choce of poem was very good, I loved it.
The subtle remembrance and lonliness was very well expressed. The contrast of the spring outside and void in her heart was beautiful.
Thanx a lot for the pm
Keep up the good work
Sur

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-Aria-

aish_punk

IF-Sizzlerz

aish_punk

Joined: 11 January 2008

Posts: 20622

Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:38am | IP Logged
hey aria..sweet part..
 
even though he's not there..she feels he is and is reminded of him. thats pretty sweet but sad too.
 
he sees her n finds her to be like him..
 
update soon
 
-aish

SunainaTM007

IF-Dazzler

SunainaTM007

Joined: 24 April 2008

Posts: 2928

Posted: 17 March 2010 at 8:30am | IP Logged
*reserved :) :)
 
*edit*
 
Heyyyyyyyyy Aria !! Hug
 
Congrats on ur new thread !!... hmm, this one seems like an interesting and intriguing concept !! and i'm liking this new genre your venturing into !!
 
Part I:
I particularly loved ur style of penning the part and describing the emotions of both of them :)
Her thoughts abt how their relationship turned out to be... her sadness that they lived like strangers now, her longing for him ... it was put forth beautifully !! They had been ripped apart into he and she and their world had ceased to be. Forever. That one hurt, forever was a wrong word, how long was this life going to be, forever? i really loved these set of lines... they had soo much of depth and emotion Embarrassed 
then him leaning against to hear what he longed to, and the part where the horses came in was penned sooo vividly... could actually picturise few flying horses before my eyes :) and then both their thoughts through the race !!... really fab penning aria ! loving this one already !!Big smile
 
Part II :
again, one more beautiful part from u Aria !!... you definitely are one talented writer !!:D
the description of the day, as seen from her eyes.. the beautiful scenery that was created by your words !! Awesome !
and both of them feeling the presence of the other !! awww, the subtlety of it all, him lost in her and her in him, was soooo sooo beautifully written !!
 
Awesome penning Aria !
thanks for the pm !


Edited by SunainaTM007 - 17 March 2010 at 9:12am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-Aria-

-Sookie-

IF-Dazzler

-Sookie-

Joined: 09 January 2009

Posts: 2518

Posted: 17 March 2010 at 8:48am | IP Logged
For me, the poem and the context did not match. I love the piece, no doubt there but I cannot connect it to spring. The disjointedness is too much and the dichotomy is glaringly obvious.
Personally, I would have loved an autumn poem here.

Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
  Think not of them, thou hast thy music too, -
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
  And touch the stubble plains with rosy hue;
  Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
  Among the river sallows, borne aloft
     Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
This came to my mind when I read the piece. :-)

I think its my general bias towards autumn LOL

Sookie

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

-Aria-ScatteredCastle

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
Beautiful Mirror, Make me lucky- Update p.22

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 22 23

Terenaina 180 8918 09 February 2011 at 4:31am
By *Nishi*
Solace l Part 17 l Pg 22 Updt 27/05

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 22 23

yikes 183 9064 24 October 2010 at 1:05am
By -Blossy-
Perfect - Short Story - pg.2 last part

2 3 4

-bhootni- 31 2194 30 September 2010 at 8:11am
By Escapist
~~AVALON: Land Of Fairies~~ Part 14

2 3 4 5 6 7 8

MrMonster 58 3657 30 July 2010 at 10:30am
By meggs
WC Banner Contest Voting Round 2 Final

2

Cute_Tulip 11 751 31 October 2008 at 12:35pm
By Kiran.

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Writers Corner Topic Index

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.