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False Mirror - Part 3- The Final Part Pg 8

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-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

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Posted: 06 January 2010 at 1:44am | IP Logged
Index

 The Race - Pg 1

Eternity - Pg 5
 
By the Lake - Pg 8


Edited by olive_green - 22 June 2010 at 12:58am

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-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

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Posted: 06 January 2010 at 1:46am | IP Logged

The Race


They stared at him, curled up into a ball and lying on the floor.

Not forever!

Tears rolled down her eyes, she clasped on the door knob- for a moment everything in her world stopped. Instinctively his arms went around her for support; he was going to stay by their side. His presence was comforting, but there was so much pain in her heart, like constant jabs on a wound that no matter what overwhelmed every other pain. She gently released herself from his hold and started to walk away, she needed the time, she needed the space and more than anything else, she needed him! Now and forever...The tears wouldn't stop nor did she want them to, they were all she had now, that he could give her. She stared out at the emptiness, the vast ocean outside and felt like she had come to the edge of her life. He hadn't said anything for days; his voice had been taken by the devil- the sounds engulfed by a maddening silence. His eyes hadn't looked at her, his gaze transfixed on her but would not see her- they had become strangers. His love was gone, his words had been replaced by silence and his gazes had turned blind. They had been ripped apart into he and she and their world had ceased to be. Forever. That one hurt, forever was a wrong word, how long was this life going to be, forever? Forever now seemed like a ruthless eternity, the baggage too heavy for her, the distance too far to tread alone. She closed her eyes, and a tear dropped. She sighed and wiped it dry ... he always hated to see her cry.


He still had his ears pressed to the floor, and it had been many days that he had heard nothing. Out of nowhere, after days in isolation he had heard slow murmurings. He shivered slightly, the marble was cold. He felt something damp on his ears, wet and transparent - he wiped his tear drops and tasted it. Instinctively, he found it repulsive, he shivered more. Long after the tears had dried, he curled back on to the floor and pressed his ears again. For the longest time, he heard nothing; then he pressed harder but still heard nothing. Disappointed with no progress, he sat up cross legged when the abstract marble grains caught his attention. He squinted his eyes and slowly bent closer to the floor, and there he saw abstract images floating in front of his eyes, all black and white, fuzzy yet bold. He sat up again, and looked around the room only to see a stranger staring at him. Ignoring her, he went back down and pressed his ears on the floor once again, and then finally after forever he heard them- and squealed with joy like a little child to sights of abandoned corrals, sounds of horses running wild and free. As they raced across the fields, his heartbeats grew faster...and lips curved to smile.  But even in this joy, his eyes silently wept as the horses spread their wings and flew rapidly towards the sunset. His own words - the first to catch the setting sun shall claim the prize!


She kept looking at his back from her chair. She had cried for the first time today; at the thought of a forever without his embrace and forever without them. His last words rang in her head - when you get there, on top of that ridge, listen carefully when you fly- they whisper in your ears and caress your wings  and as you descend they will kiss your lips...


The race was nearly over and he could hear his heart beat rapidly against his chest...the excitement was building up.. and then with wings spread he closed his eyes to hear the wind whisper but there was nothing... not even silence.



Edited by olive_green - 06 January 2010 at 3:41pm

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-Sookie-

IF-Dazzler

-Sookie-

Joined: 09 January 2009

Posts: 2518

Posted: 06 January 2010 at 6:28am | IP Logged
Aria!!!!

Congrats on your new thread.

Hmm...not a happy piece. This is kind of new from you. Most of your work are pretty sharp and straight forward but here you actually play with minuscule of emotions.

Content is not complex nor the statement behind it. But the way he and she arrives at almost similar conclusions are amazing. :-)

The race huh...the final lines...perfect!

Sookie

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-Aria-

bushrayou

Goldie

bushrayou

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Posted: 06 January 2010 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
i feel like i should be scared... i was scared reading it! amazing writing!! dont know what to expect next and honestly kinda cant  wait! 
thanks for the pm always a pleasure reading your stuff :)

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-Aria-

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3850

Posted: 06 January 2010 at 4:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sookie*

Aria!!!!

Congrats on your new thread.

Hmm...not a happy piece. This is kind of new from you. Most of your work are pretty sharp and straight forward but here you actually play with minuscule of emotions.

Content is not complex nor the statement behind it. But the way he and she arrives at almost similar conclusions are amazing. :-)

The race huh...the final lines...perfect!

Sookie


Finally up. Only I know how painful it was to write this. You know I had one more para at the end, that would tip the balance. That was the fine line between happy and not happy. But the ending words, provided a perfect closure. Nothing more needed to be said.. You've rightly observed, I've steered clear of emotional stuff, and even here its minuscule as you say...The Race? you don't sound convinced. It says more, who was it that said, sometimes the best title is the most obvious one - or something along those lines, pardon me, I have a terrible memoryTongue

Thankyou Sookie


Edited by olive_green - 06 January 2010 at 9:27pm

-Aria-

IF-Dazzler

-Aria-

Joined: 29 April 2009

Posts: 3850

Posted: 06 January 2010 at 5:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bushrayou

i feel like i should be scared... i was scared reading it! amazing writing!! dont know what to expect next and honestly kinda cant  wait! 
thanks for the pm always a pleasure reading your stuff :)


Hi there. hmmm....interesting reaction, I didn't think of it that way you know...I suppose you may have been expecting a happier end...maybe....and yes, Thank you for commenting. :)

spln

IF-Sizzlerz

spln

Joined: 06 December 2007

Posts: 11036

Posted: 06 January 2010 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
i think i'm lost about plenty, and need to wait for the next aria... however, to your credit, and mine at having comprehended, the paragraph about him following abstract patterns was a wonder!

cheers,
nj

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-Aria-

Prasanthi

IF-Rockerz

Prasanthi

Joined: 24 June 2008

Posts: 5424

Posted: 06 January 2010 at 9:58pm | IP Logged

reserved

Aria, will be back here by evening.
 
edit:
 
I was to be here last evening but...
 
This type of unabated writing of emotions from youis new to me. It seems to have come out in an ease. Every emotion has been so well told. An intense piece it was. Liked it!
 
ps: Welcome to the Writer's Corner! waiting for the other one :P.
 
 


Edited by Prasanthi - 08 January 2010 at 9:45pm

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