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Cheating is healthy for married couples (Page 7)

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return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 30 December 2009 at 12:41am | IP Logged
Originally posted by clodpolish

Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


I think you can resist physical temptations, but how do you resist emotional ones? If you feel attached to someone else emotionally, but still continue your marriage with your partner, simply out of respect and loyalty, you are still only pretending that the love is there, when obviously it isn't. What is the point of that kind of marriage, then? Its unfair to both people.

Ok let's complicate it a bit- the other person loves the one who is emotionally bonded to someone else. And the one who is now emotionally bonded to someone else thought initially that she loves the person whom she/he is married to . Out of respect for all the commitments made at that time and also because of the fact that the partner loves him, she/he is continuing with the marriage.He/she also realises that ending the marriage would mean problems for the other person who hails from a culture where divorce is really looked down upon.


Absolutely not - marriage, or rather commitment, means being involved with only one person physically and emotionally.

How to stop yourself from being emotionally bonded with someone?Is emotional bonding =love?


Ok the blue part was too complicated for me.

There are many emotional bonds. Sometimes it is just friendship or simple affection. That is all fine. It is ok to have best friends outside marriage

However, there are times when the emotional bond is too deep to be simple friendship. There is an undercurrent of attraction. Even the emotional bonding on its own at an emotional level has an electrifying appeal. You fall in love outside marriage. You stop seeing your spouse with the same affection and compassion and emotionally crave for someone else. Slowly, the physical need to fulfill that emotion also creeps in.

I think with pure lust, one can sleep around and forget about it. The person was just a means for satisfaction. Falling in love outside marriage is a more challenging cross to bear. You simply are incapable of giving the marriage the love it needs.

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Mindbender

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*Woh Ajnabee*

IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 30 December 2009 at 12:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by clodpolish

Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


I think you can resist physical temptations, but how do you resist emotional ones? If you feel attached to someone else emotionally, but still continue your marriage with your partner, simply out of respect and loyalty, you are still only pretending that the love is there, when obviously it isn't. What is the point of that kind of marriage, then? Its unfair to both people.

Ok let's complicate it a bit- the other person loves the one who is emotionally bonded to someone else. And the one who is now emotionally bonded to someone else thought initially that she loves the person whom she/he is married to . Out of respect for all the commitments made at that time and also because of the fact that the partner loves him, she/he is continuing with the marriage.He/she also realises that ending the marriage would mean problems for the other person who hails from a culture where divorce is really looked down upon.


Absolutely not - marriage, or rather commitment, means being involved with only one person physically and emotionally.

How to stop yourself from being emotionally bonded with someone?Is emotional bonding =love?


I think you are bringing in too many ifs and buts into the situation. If you are emotionally attached to someone else, or emotionally bonding with someone else, but continuing your marriage, then you are ultimately cheating on your partner. You continue the marriage because your partner loves you and because you care for him/her. But is it not unfair to your partner that you do not love them back the same way that they love you? What have they done wrong to get the lesser end of the bargain here?

Society may look down upon divorce, but that's a decision you have to make. Sometimes a married couple continues a marriage afraid of what society will say or how it will adversely effect their children, but that is their decision, a conscious decision. Here, one partner is totally clueless as to the other partner's dilemma.

Emotional bonding may not be love, but it definitely has the potential to eventually become love. When you fall in love with someone, I think the first step really is that you're emotionally attached to them. As to how you control yourself from being emotionally attached - well its like love, how do you stop yourself from falling in love? I think we're taking the meaning of emotional attachment too lightly here. Sexual infidelity doesn't take much time or effort (not my best wording here LOL), but emotional bonding has to occur over a time period. You have to get to know someone before you actually become attached to them in that way.

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Mindbender

Mindbender

IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 30 December 2009 at 12:46am | IP Logged

Okies- i'll end it here.

Thanks rth ji and wa ji for sharing your views.

return_to_hades

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Posted: 30 December 2009 at 12:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by clodpolish

Okies- i'll end it here.

Thanks rth ji and wa ji for sharing your views.



You ask some very thought provoking questions Cloddy. Smile

I think there really is no easy answer. You just live life, learn and hope to make the right choices. I think thats the best we can do as humans.

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Mindbender

*Woh Ajnabee*

IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 30 December 2009 at 12:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by clodpolish

Okies- i'll end it here.

Thanks rth ji and wa ji for sharing your views.



I agree with Sarina, you raised several interesting points. I am still pondering if emotional attachment is romantic or not. LOL

Thanks for the discussion, its been a while! Haha. ;)

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