Is it human to hate or is it perfectly okay? - Page 13

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Laughing like a moron can help in conflict too.

 

This happened to me during 10^th grade camp. We were divided into patrols and each patrol cooked a meal which was to be judged. We were just done preparing meals and were setting it on our tables. When my patrol was done, I strolled over to some of my friends who were in another patrol to see how they were doing.

 

Now they had kept the vessel of their dal on chair. I did not notice this and leaned on the chair, tipping the vessel over. I noticed it in time to grab the vessel, just a little bit of dal splattered on the chair. I just got done putting the vessel on the table when I noticed this infuriated girl in my face and then 'chatak'.

 

I had been slapped, in front of my whole class. All my friends, classmates all of 10^th grade was there, watching me get slapped. Normally, I think people would have been upset or insulted. However, I thought her infuriated face was most comical. Getting slapped in front of everyone seemed more comical. I burst out laughing.

 

Everyone came over and asked me how I was doing and chastised her for behaving so rudely. Even her friends and patrol mates were all concerned if I was ok. Seeing this the girl burst out into tears. Everyone still ignored her. Slowly I was like, c'mon now I'm the one laughing like an idiot ' she is crying. Go console the upset one.

 

I have a terrible habit of laughing at everything. I've burst out laughing while being yelled at by the teacher and have been expelled for a day. Laughter is the best medicine.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Laughing like a moron can help in conflict too.

 

This happened to me during 10^th grade camp. We were divided into patrols and each patrol cooked a meal which was to be judged. We were just done preparing meals and were setting it on our tables. When my patrol was done, I strolled over to some of my friends who were in another patrol to see how they were doing.

 

Now they had kept the vessel of their dal on chair. I did not notice this and leaned on the chair, tipping the vessel over. I noticed it in time to grab the vessel, just a little bit of dal splattered on the chair. I just got done putting the vessel on the table when I noticed this infuriated girl in my face and then 'chatak'.

 

I had been slapped, in front of my whole class. All my friends, classmates all of 10^th grade was there, watching me get slapped. Normally, I think people would have been upset or insulted. However, I thought her infuriated face was most comical. Getting slapped in front of everyone seemed more comical. I burst out laughing.

 

Everyone came over and asked me how I was doing and chastised her for behaving so rudely. Even her friends and patrol mates were all concerned if I was ok. Seeing this the girl burst out into tears. Everyone still ignored her. Slowly I was like, c'mon now I'm the one laughing like an idiot ' she is crying. Go console the upset one.

 

I have a terrible habit of laughing at everything. I've burst out laughing while being yelled at by the teacher and have been expelled for a day. Laughter is the best medicine.

I think she is talking about being bullied, the gal you mentioned was just a highly sensitive kid, doesn't sound like a bully unless she came after you to bother you every now and then.

@Gumsum, my anecdote was not about bullies. It was more to the former part of LJ's post that generically discussed unpleasant/nasty people. Agreed with you on dealing with bullies part.

To add to that, I don't think bullies ought to be hated. In fact they are probably the ones who need most sympathy. Psychological studies show that bullies are actually insecure people coming from unstable families/backgrounds. They use bullying as a means to cover their personal fears. They feel they have no likable qualities and force people to make them popular. Of course there are always exceptions.

The most important step definitely is to be strong and assertive. Show confidence in who you are, what you are, no matter what. Be proud of yourself. That is why I love the show Glee! It shows how a bunch of misfits can ignore all the prejudices and bullying and be strong together. Most cases of bullying can be resolved by assertiveness and self confidence.

The following is regarding extreme cases which are rarer, but significant still.

However, sometimes bullying does go out of hand. High school bullying, college hazing and other such stuff have started innocent and gone out of hand. People's lives have been ruined and people have died. When a bully is borderline sociopath or dangerous there is not much an ordinary person can do.

From watching L&O:SVU, one thing I have noticed is that in any environment communication is the key. Parents and teachers have to build a trusting relationship with students so that students communicate with them freely. Parents and teachers also need to gain faith and trust. From a young age they ought to tell students that they can communicate any problem without being judged.

Many bullying victims make a mistake (sex, drugs, alcohol or even something minor) and are bullied/blackmailed. Many bullying victims are emotionally bullied too so that they feel that whatever is going on is all their fault and no one will help them/they deserve to be hurt. So it is important to create environments where victims can speak up and feel safe.

Parents and teachers should also be informed to watch for strange behaviors and recognize bullying and nip it in the bud right away. Also informed to know when to alert authorities and when to get help for their children like counseling or enrolling them in a support program like big brother/big sister etc.

RTH interesting point on bullies. I did not know the high suicide rates in the USA by teens due to bullying. It is very sad and I have mentioned this in the thread.

Originally posted by: Perfangel5655

hate is too strong of  a word. Half of the time people simply misunderstand dislike as hate. Every emotion is quite natural to humans. What matters is how you deal with those.

Originally posted by: cuckoocutter

 

that sound like so much bull, sorry. there r certain emotions, like hate, that r so strong precisely because ppl dont have control ovr them, so qn of how to deal with them do not arise. they deal with u, u dont deal with them.😊

If i Really hated someone, i would spend some time planning on how to make their lives as miserable as possible,laugh at their sorrow.do everything i can to get them in trouble or make them cry and curse them every second of my life...so no, i havent hated anyone in that sense.  I have been hurt by certain people in life and the thoughts still hurt me today, but the way i deal with it is being indifferent about it. I move on in life, hoping that one day they would realize their mistake and not treat anyone like  a piece of shit in their life again. At school i used to get bullied, for no apparent reasons...the bullies made not only my life miserable but others too..Today the same bullies are still where we left them..and we have moved on in life to appreciate and experience greater things.

Dont waste your life in hating someone that gets you nothing in return...instead invest it in loving someone who would give you their everything in return.

Xoxo

Originally posted by: the_Naked_face

If i Really hated someone, i would spend some time planning on how to make their lives as miserable as possible,laugh at their sorrow.do everything i can to get them in trouble or make them cry and curse them every second of my life...so no, i havent hated anyone in that sense.  I have been hurt by certain people in life and the thoughts still hurt me today, but the way i deal with it is being indifferent about it. I move on in life, hoping that one day they would realize their mistake and not treat anyone like  a piece of shit in their life again. At school i used to get bullied, for no apparent reasons...the bullies made not only my life miserable but others too..Today the same bullies are still where we left them..and we have moved on in life to appreciate and experience greater things.

Dont waste your life in hating someone that gets you nothing in return...instead invest it in loving someone who would give you their everything in return.

Xoxo