Originally posted by: return_to_hades
Ajnu, thanks for explaining that, love. Very nicely and sensibly put. The basic expectation is one of modesty. It all comes down to how people interpret modesty.
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Moving onto more issues on this topic.
I wanted to add more to one of the books that Krystal_Watz brought up. The one where a neutral assessment of the book was conveniently edited out and instead a loaded comment by a solitary user from the website who is neither the author or critique was focused on and highlighted. Thanks to King Anu for pointing us in the direction of the whole article.
I read more about the book on Amazon etc. I find it extremely ironic that Krystal chose an article on this particular book as 'support' for her argument. The book it seems is about interreligious marriage in Islam. It goes across the world and illustrates Muslim men and women who marry outside the religion. The concept where only Islamic men are allowed to marry outside, while Islamic women are prohibited is explained as the 'traditional' perspective of Islamic law. Through the book the author explains how different people interpret the religious laws and have successful/not so successful/difficult as well as easy marriages outside the religion. The book also illustrates countries like Senegal and other ethnic African groups who prefer to marry within their race/ethnicity irrespective of religious beliefs and that sometimes people weigh nationality/race/culture/religion and religion can take backseat over other commonalities. Considering that this book 'refutes' the 'religious bias' argument and explains religious interpretation and perspectives its actually is amusing that an article on this book was used to 'defend' the 'religious bias' argument.
Anyway to sum up the marriage discrepancy as brought up
- People of all religions culturally identify with their religion and feel comfortable with their religion. Hence they show a preference towards their own religion when it comes to marriage and expect that children marry within the religion. There is a difference between preference for ones culture/religion versus bias against a different culture/religion.
- In patrilineal society more men than women marry outside the religion. In matrilineal society more women than men marry outside the religion. Islam like many other religions is patrilineal.
- Modesty is a broad social expectation. It can be a religious or cultural expectation. Whether out of religious belief or culture compliance, people can interpret modesty to various extremes. Rigid interpretations can hamper gender socialization in any society.
- In any society the expectations of modesty and more rigid and higher on women. Hence usually more men have larger socialization circles than women. Hence it usually is men marrying outside culture/religion/community with women.
- Even within a religion/culture there are varying levels of interpretations. In Islamic nations in the Middle East the religion is more concentrated and more stringent. While in other parts the religion is more diluted and open to interpretation. It is not always the religion, but overall demographics that plays a role.
- Marriage depends on weight given to personal qualities/culture/nationality/ethnicity/religion etc. All things equal a person may choose their religion. However, people compromise religion to marry within similar ethnicity/nationality/culture etc.
- Of course there will be some instances where it is pure unfair prejudice and bias, but is also unfairly prejudicial and biased to focus only on this one solitary aspect and ignore the broad, social, cultural and demographic perspectives and influences.
Alright, anything further than this. Back to the big colorful circle.
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