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[BURNING ISSUE] Problems for Dual Earner Families. (Page 4)

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gumsum

Goldie

gumsum

Joined: 28 August 2007

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Posted: 02 December 2009 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by LoneStranger

Dont you think that in the dual-earner family children and jobs vie for top priority in the daily schedule. Try squeezing in time for yourself and the day ends too soon. Think about spending time with your spouse and it's overwhelming. Most of the couples these days are suffering from a lack of time invested in their marriage. It keeps getting pushed off by other needs that appear to be more urgent, especially the priority given to the needs of the children. Yet, in the long run, there is probably nothing more important you can do for your children than to invest in your marriage. Otherwise children are likely to be exposed to excessive conflict and possibly a traumatic divorce.

No matter how much the children remain involved with school work...the need of parents is high. The constant decline of morality and values in Europe is not hidden! Let us not fool ourselves there...

The constant decay of family values ... the mad rush after money ... does it really help us?

Does marriage not consistently suffer?

In an ideal world...we will get everything that we want....But isnt the true picture of the world ALWAYS CONSIST OF A TRADE-OFF? ... You get something, you need to loose the other?

Which one do you think is getting the priority these days? ... Dont you think that we should rethink?

Ok, I will rethink. I'll ask my hubby to take care of the kids (when we decide to have a few) and make sure that the family demands, my need for a personal space, time to myself (excercise, tv etc), giving good values to our kids all are being meet. I will make sure that I earn enough to give my family a good life as long as I get nice home-cooked meal everyday when I come home, a smiling hubby to greet me at door, and content kids ready to give me a loving hugBig smile, what sayWink

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gumsum

Goldie

gumsum

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Posted: 02 December 2009 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by gengarjetty2

Originally posted by gumsum

I am in complete favor of dual income families where husband wife both works. It is important for every individual not to be dependent on another for the survival. Afterall its not about money its about a life outside the family.
I don't agree about extra-marital affairs, affairs are totally non-dependent of a spouse working or non-working. Same goes for the inferiority complex. I agree with it resulting in less time for kids and partner but thats not something which can't be worked out. 

thats true, but its easier said, than done


Thats true of almost anything in life kiddoTongue

gumsum

Goldie

gumsum

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Posted: 02 December 2009 at 12:15pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by gengarjetty2

Originally posted by LoneStranger



thats why u have a 50% divorce rate in america !
ha. what about the stale marriages in India? Ppl spend their time crying, abusing and doing what not, but don't have the courage to think that they need to give themselves a chance for the better life. I am all for American dreams here than Indian sabotage.

LoneStranger

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Posted: 02 December 2009 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
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gumsum

Goldie

gumsum

Joined: 28 August 2007

Posts: 2444

Posted: 02 December 2009 at 2:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by LoneStranger

Originally posted by gumsum

Originally posted by gengarjetty2

Originally posted by LoneStranger



thats why u have a 50% divorce rate in america !
ha. what about the stale marriages in India? Ppl spend their time crying, abusing and doing what not, but don't have the courage to think that they need to give themselves a chance for the better life. I am all for American dreams here than Indian sabotage.
You are absolutely right in many ways. My uncle married here in India, was not satisfied with the stale situation ... went France and got married there (has a son now). Its all fresh =).

I mean ... if you have to be with someone... according to him ... why not foreighn? =)

I am contemplating similar ideas aswell.
I am nobody to comment\mock\praise your uncle's ethics or yours as I don't know what goes behind the scenes, the point I am trying to make it that just because something is Indian thats why its good, and something is western thats why its bad, I won't buy that. I live in west and am surrounded by many westerners who\"whose parents" have stable healthy marriages, what a contradiction between them and your uncle/you.
Sorry upon my use of word "Stale", I should have use "Stinky", marriages where people are just in them because of society pressure, where kids watch their parents fight day n night, dad abusing mom verbally, emotionally and\or physically, where kids are not growing up as emotionally healthy individual but parents think that they are doing the kids a big favor by staying in it. Trust me, kids sense in a sec if there is something wrong between their parents, parents don't even have to fight in front of them.
 
Btw I respect women who don't work more than women who work. It takes a big heart to sacrifice yourself for folks you love, you work hard 24/7 and its a thankless job unless you are surrounded by equally caring people who understand that you are giving up a part of yourself just for their sake. But at the same time that decision to work or not work should be left upon the individual rather than being enforced. And if someone decides to sacrifice themselves for the family, it should be unconditional, expecting too much out of it could cause problems in future between husband\wife and mom\kids.
 
I am not used to talking this much nor am I a feminist but it is a touchy topic for me. I think you can't apply right\wrong universally. That decision is best taken by individuals.
gotta go now, your post distracted me from my work. Ah, wellBig smile 

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maisoonkarandel_2008

P1nk

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Posted: 02 December 2009 at 2:32pm | IP Logged


Maybe the wife can work part time and husband works full time. In reality, it's easier to make money than to maintain close, personal relationships with family and friends.

the_Naked_face

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Posted: 02 December 2009 at 6:30pm | IP Logged
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karandel_2008

IF-Rockerz

karandel_2008

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Posted: 03 December 2009 at 5:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by LoneStranger

Saying 'BALANCE' is preety easy. Look at how the west suffered.

Its a known fact...that there is always a 'TRADE OFF'. If you want career, you must sacrifice alot of things that you could give to the growth of your family. And as the career grows, it demands more time....and thus, family looses there....hence...morality is lost among children...and comes forward millions more issues. Its something thats already been tried in the west. And the WEST is slowly trying to move towards single earning families (specially in Europe where the whole social system have collapsed).


Dont generalize that much. It seems you are saying that morality has degenerated a lot in the west ,etc. Which country looks to be "highly" moral to you? Any country with a good family system like India and China?


Edited by karandel_2008 - 03 December 2009 at 5:37am

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