Joined: 04 March 2009
26 November ki us raat na jaane kitni khwaaishein , kitni kahaaniyaan humesha ke liye adhuri reh gayi, kitno ne apni zindagi khoyi, maine bhi tabhi apni aankhon ke saamne apni zindagi kho di, aur main kuch na kar saka
It remains to be the worst day of my life, I wish I could reverse time and skip that day, the sound of those gunshots still fresh in my ears, her shrieks and helpless cries still fresh in my eyes…a sight I can never forget.
With just blood all around, I remember those trembling little hands and those beautiful slim fingers. I went thre with my life but returned alone with nothing left with me, no fear of losing anything as the only ones I cared about I had lost already. I don't know why god made me escape, I wanted to be there instead of her. What was her mistake after all?
There happened to be some complications in her pregnancy and we had to move to Mumbai from our home at delhi for her delivery. We had all the financial securities and we were living in the presidential suite in the taj mahal palace a Mumbai, those were the most beautiful days of our life, I still rcall moments which fill my eyes
Ridhima: armaan, armaan… ur babies just kicked
I replied: ridhima don't you feel it is way too common now….after all you have your delivery due after a couple of weeks
Ridhima: but armaan it is different now, I feel a couple of kicks together and that too hard ones… they are both just too naughty for me to handle anymore…
I replied: well that you will have to do for a couple of weeks
Ridhima turned into a more serious mood
Ridhima: armaan tum mujhse ek vaada karoge
I noticed the seriousness of her tone and said : kaisa vaada basket
She replied: armaan mujhse vaada karo ki agar..agar mujhe kabhi bhi kuch ho jaata hai to tum humaare bachon ko itna pyaar doge ki vo mujhe kabhi yaad na kare
She sobbed as she spoke
I noticed the tears
I said:basket ek dum se aisi baatein
Ridhima: vaada karo mujhe armaan ki humaare bachon ko meri kami mehsus nahi hone doge
I replied as tears glistened in my eyes too: ridhima tum kya keh rahi ho
Ridhima:armaan doctor ne mujhe bataya that the pregnancy is complicated aur aisa ho sakta …
I did not let her continue as I cut her: tumhe kuch nahi hoga ridhima, kuch bhi nahi , you get that… dekho main jaanta hun tumhe hospitals se darr lagta hai isi liye I have convinced the best doctors here to set up a mini OT here in our suite only….aur itni jaldi mujhse picha thodi chudvaaogi tum
She closed her eyes: par…
Again I cut her: ridhima main tumhe kuch nahi hone dunga, ye vaada hai mera
she just held my hands and kissed them as her tears fell on the back of my palm which I sucked
I smiled and replied: comeon now, have this soup and no more crying, you know na how I hate these tears ,
She nodded as she made faces to avoid the soup
Everything seemed so perfect, I did not think over those words again as I could not imagine life without her. She seemed serious but those words never made me think seriously. But that night….his tears flew as he remembered that fateful night…
She had just delivered twins, a girl and a boy early morning, it was the best day of her life, 26th November….she was put on complete bed rest as she was weak. Late at night as she was weaning our son I played with my beautiful daughter…my dimples, my eyes but completely her innocence. Just the kid I had dreamt of…when suddenly a deafening sound reached her ears…she was sitting in the outer bedroom while I was in the inner one….she looked out into the corridor through the camera fixed and connected to the television and the sight she saw had her in tears, all kind of thoughts running in her mind, sweat dripped down as the felt the fear…she in a fearful voice, called out " armaan please go down the fire escape and take our angel with you" she said in a weak and tearful voice
I could make out something was wrong, and I screamed back " what happened, you sound worried..i answered…"
She did not have enough time to explain and moreover she knew that I would never leave her alone and she was too weak to elope….and also she knew that that handling both kids would make it difficult for me so all she thought af the moment was me so she just said " armaan do as I say now…" she got more tearful as she heard approaching footsteps…
I was hell confused and my heart did not agree to leave her but the commanding voice made me feel some unknown emotion and I left through the fire escape.
Halfway through I remembered I did not have keys to our room and had also when I return after a walk downstairs she would be asleep. I turned back and carefully climbed up the stairs seeing that my angel's sleep was not disturbed. As I moved back I looked around but I could not find ridhima anywhere around. I got tensed as I realized her stitches were still fresh and she was not allowed to even leave bed. I felt my heart pace and thump against my chest as I embraced my angel harder and closer to me. Just then I realized a series of voices as I rushed towards the corridor and as I was about to unlock the door she stopped me. I could see her miserable condition, her stitches were broken and blood drenched her gown however she winced in pain but tried to support herself against the wall as she said " armaan use mat kholo, bahaar kuch log attack kar rahe hain." As these words sunk in me I realized how she wanted to save me. I did not know what to do. I could see my life fall down in pain in front of me. Just then I realized our baby boy was nowhere to be seen. I asked her as she pointed towards the bathroom . I moved in and saw him wrapped carefully in a towel and placed safely behind the curtains of the Jacuzzi. She knew that was the only way she could safeguard him. A mother's heart always feels for her child before her own…. As I was about to move to him and say something she said " armaan they are breaking the door, armaan please move out of here"
I replied " ridhima main tumhe…"
She replied firmly" armaan tum jaaoge to koi to bachega, main yahaan se nahin jaa sakti, tum angel ko leke jao.."
I replied " aur prince ? armaan….tumhe lagta hai mera dil nahi dukhta ye sochte huye ki mera ek din ka bacha…lekin armaan phir shaayad meri bachi….lekin armaan ek vaada karo tum vaapas aaoge aur dekhoge ki prince yahaan hai ya nahin.."
I nodded as she pushed me towards the door and I moved reluctantly and the very next moment, in front of my eyes I saw a bullet tear through her. She winced in pain, I tried moving towards her but her last look towards me made me stop, she wanted me to elope….
Just then I wanted to rush to the washroom to pick up my prince but she signaled me to hide for then however I could not. I saw them hear the wails of my baby and they moved in and next a remembered a blast as I escaped hoping to save my princess atleast.
I saw the trembling hands of my prince just before the blast and her hand reach out to me…..but I could do nothing"
I saw a pool of blood run down the room and something inside me cried .. I don't know what forced me to safely cover and protect my angel inside my jacket hugging her tighter in the fear of losing the last piece of me left on this earth. I closed my eyes and all I could see were the pleading eyes which hoped a long life for me, which wanted me to fulfill my promise …. But the promise I did to myself was broken already…. I had lost her…I had lost my life… a deep shock to sink into me however some fear caused me to elope forever…. To leave her back to start a new chapter with her last memory and a part of her with me…. My ridhima left me forever but I had her with me, supporting me forever….always
She wiped her tears as she kept her palm on his shoulder…." Papa kya isi liye aap har 26th November ko yahin taj mein isi room mein rehte hain.."
"haan ridhima, yahaan mujhe tumhaari mumma ka ehsaas hota hai" I replied tearfully as I saw her wipe her tears
" now comeon stop crying , it is your birthday" I replied and chuckled
"and my mom's death day?" she answered
" ridhima main apna ye vaada to kabhi pura nahi kar paaya ki main use kuch nahi hone dunga lekin ye vaada zaroor pura karunga ki tumhe udaas nahi hone dunga… vo mere saamne nahi hai par vo mere saath hai, mere sapno mein, meri hakkekat mein, is dil mein…..log kehte hain ki main khushnaseeb hun ki meri zindagi bach gayi lekin meri jaan to vahin chut gayi, ab jeene ka ek tanha maksad tha vo vaada aur meri ridhima……." I replied as I opened my arms for a hug and felt her tight embrace…for a second it felt as if she was back with me and she really was….. even though I cant get over her death however this was the place that gifted with me my ridhima, who is with me and will always remain…. I kissed her forehead and said " ridhima main tumhe apne aap se kabhi dur nahi jaane dunga kabhi nahi!!" I muttered with a teary smile not knowing I was saying it to which ridhima my life or my reason to live after my life left me
" THERE ARE ALWAYS SOME REASONS FOR HAPPINESS AND SADNESS HOWEVER THE ONLY EXPRESSION ONE CAN EXPRESS WHEN ONE GETS BOTH WITHIN A SHORT SPAN OF TIME IS A TEARY SMILE"
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