Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems


Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

The Big Shift (rewritten prologue+chap I pg 3) (Page 2)

Pooj@ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 21 December 2009 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
Thank you Nishi.

Pooj@ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 01 January 2010 at 2:55am | IP Logged

Chapter Two

Day two




A shrill cacophony pierced the cold dawn air'..


Mitali opened her eyes in annoyance and looked up to see a fresh, eager Sujala standing at her feet, beaming at her.


She turned the other way, trying to burrow deep into the warmth of her blanket'..The ground underneath was cold and hard, and the first night of sleeping on the ground with a few blankets under and above did not help.


Somebody whipped the blanket away from her body and the frosty, bitter air worked as effectively as a bucket of icy water.


She sat up; astonished at the courage of the person, and shaken by the sudden cold'..It was Piyush.


He had a half amused half exasperated smile on his face as he looked down at the irate and confused Mitali.


She pushed her red dyed curly locks away from her eyes.


He was another volunteer who had traveled with them'Although they had traveled in the same vehicle for nearly two hours; they had not exchanged a single word'.


Exchanging pleasantries when they had been introduced, coldness followed in his demeanor towards her.  


But at night, he quietly gave her a large jug of water as she sat down to dinner, which she ignored with a coldness matching to his own.


The food was served in a large steel plate, and she sat on the floor, her legs crossed in the traditional Indian style'She fidgeted in her jeans, and tried looking around'Her eyes were watering, a bonus accompanied by the stuffy smell due to the chulha, the mud fireplace, where Sumitrabai, Sujala's mother was making hot bhakris.


The reason behind the action soon became clear'. A round, hot brown nachni (finger millet) bhakri landed in her plate.


Reluctantly, she broke off a morsel.


The seemingly innocent vegetables turned out to be red hot, burning the mouth as they went down her throat'.. Eyes watering and nose running, she quickly stuffed a morsel of chutney to lessen the spicy flavor'..But the chutney was more piquant'.


"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!" she groaned inspite of herself''..


He silently pushed the jug of water towards her. Without pausing for further contemplation, she lifted it to her mouth and drank it like someone who had not seen water for days.


         She struggled to get ready and roamed around the house with bleary eyes, searching for her rucksack'..A neatly folded salwaar kameez was draped over it'.She fingered it frowning.


"You will need to wear it."


She spun around. Devshri was looking at her over her gold rimmed spectacles'..


She laughed. "No way'..I am not'..Never. Ever."


Devashri weighed her up and down with the full force of her dark eyes.


"Here, when I say, you obey. No questions asked."


"But why?"


Devashri considered her for a moment. "It will help you merge in. When in Paris, do as the Parisians do."


Mitali glared back at her. But the dark eyes were unbudging.


Recognizing someone she could not defeat, Mitali backed off silently'.Picking up the salwaar kameez, she entered the bathroom.


The day was a sunny one. She stepped out of the house and stood in the porch' The air was fresh, likes of which were unfamiliar with her city nose'She sniffed the air eagerly'.


Sujala pointed to the house on the top of a hill. "We start there."


She picked up a small bag and smiled at Mitali uncertainly.


They trudged upwards through the village.


The cool shade of the house seemed inviting after the long trek in the harsh sun. A woman, clad in a sari offered them water. Mitali looked inside, while sipping the water meditatively.


Her eyes turned to large orbs as she saw a large hulking outline framed in the doorway that lead through the house to the backyard.


Narrowing her eyes, she stared intently, trying to make out the figure.


"Is that- is that'..a buffalo?"


The woman looked at her surprised, before turning back to answer the questions Sujala had been asking her. "Of course it is. Everybody has buffaloes"


She gripped Sujala's arm tightly.


"I am afraid of buffaloes." She whispered her childhood memory surfacing.


"It's all right." Sujala patted her hand absently, continuing with the questionnaire.


When the sun set, Mitali was quite glad for the hot millet bhakris, rice and a thick blanket to ease the pain in her aching legs.



She sat down on the carpet.


A cacophony ensured from the back of the house. Sujala was chasing the hens back into their coops. She watched for a moment before joining her.


Catching a hen is not as easy as they show on television. Not at all easy.


There were ten hens and a couple ofsmall chickens. In daytime they wandered in the backyard, but at night, they were locked up in the coop for protection from hungry dogs and wolves.


Eight were already inside. Sujala conquered another one.


Only one large proud hen stood, looking at each of them in turn. Mitali advanced on it.


It ran from between her legs. Desperately, she ran after it.


She accidentally chased it into the house. Squawking in protest the red and yellow commotion entered the kitchen, the nearest room from the back, upturned all the utensils and a box of full of recently shelled peas.


Sujala and Mitali looked at each other, their feet submerged in a sea of small, round green peas.


The hen ran out in the living room, with Sujala and Mitali hot on its trail. They finally cornered it on the outer porch.


The bird looked at each of them in turn and preened its red and yellow feathers.


Mitali looked at the hen with a wicked gleam in her eye. She readied herself to pounce on it, when somebody else did.


Piyush picked up the hen with ease and returned the offender back to its coop.


It gave a loud squawk of protest at the sorry end of the chase.


Mitali looked daggers at Piyush.


"It was my hen. Why did you catch it?"


He rolled his eyes at her ire. "Look at the trail of destruction you both have left in the house."


He looked at the other girl. "Sujala, I am better than you at this now! Your student excels the teacher! And by the way, pick up the peas in the kitchen before Sumitra kaku returns from the panchayat meeting with Devashri maushi'or'."


"Or what?" Mitali asked haughtily.


He just shrugged.


Sujala asked timidly, "Mind helping us?"


He shoved his hands in his pockets and whistled. "It's none of my business. Besides, it was her hen."


When they were picking up the peas, Mitali noticed Piyush sneak in to help them. She smiled inside, keeping her face straight.


Filling out questionnaires in a relevant pattern, regarding the health status of eighty three villagers of every age did not exactly leave you with bountiful energy. Nor did crawling on all fours to pick up reprobate peas in the nooks and cranny of the kitchen after chasing a hen the entire length of the house add anything other than extreme weariness.


Devashri silently put an extra blanket on Mitali's slumbering form before switching off the emergency lamp.


Edited by Pooj@ - 01 January 2010 at 2:56am

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:


Girl_2007 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 November 2007
Posts: 5733

Posted: 02 January 2010 at 6:04am | IP Logged
do update soon plz! i love it =)
_.serendipity._ Senior Member

Joined: 14 October 2009
Posts: 752

Posted: 03 January 2010 at 12:36am | IP Logged
Brilliant!! StarStarStar
It's very well-written, and the concept is really very interesting!!
Looking forward to reading more!! Big smileBig smileBig smile
Pooj@ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:35am | IP Logged
Thanks guys...the next chapter will come out a bit slow, but thanks for reading!

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


Girl_2007 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 November 2007
Posts: 5733

Posted: 09 January 2010 at 11:04am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Pooj@

Thanks guys...the next chapter will come out a bit slow, but thanks for reading!
looking forward to it =)
Pooj@ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 21 March 2010 at 2:24am | IP Logged
Author's Note

I have rewritten the entire story, so i will be reposting it soon.
Please bear with me.
Pooj@ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 3074

Posted: 21 March 2010 at 1:09pm | IP Logged
The rewritten version:

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