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Break Up Advice... (Page 4)

kheladi Newbie

Joined: 01 April 2011
Posts: 44

Posted: 03 June 2011 at 1:01am | IP Logged
nice !!!!

BhavnaKhanna Newbie

Joined: 14 May 2011
Posts: 26

Posted: 14 September 2011 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Mystery-

Break ups are never fun to talk about, it's a devastating time period for some people.

However, they do happen.  We do find at times that we are probably not made for each other.  At that time it's better to call off the relationship as soon as possible before either of you get even more involved with it.  It hurts anyway and sometimes it's better to seek some advice on it too.

So here's an advice... I hope no one gets to a break up and your relationships are healthy and loving, but if it ever gets to that point, you've got help.

Break Up Advice

We all agree it is compassionate to avoid hurting people's feelings whenever possible. The "whenever possible" clause creates some confusion when ending a relationship, however. This is an inherently painful time for one or both parties. Many tactics have been used, when breaking up with someone, to attempt sidestepping this inevitable truth. They all fail. Worse yet, avoidance of the plain, honest truth causes more misery then is necessary in these situations. Therefore, avoid being evasive or vague. Be direct while taking responsibility for what you want.

There are no strict rules about how to end a relationship. However, a few tips can help when breaking up with someone.

  • Don't be evasive, unclear or vague. Be direct and to the point. This is not an enjoyable matter for either of you. Giving false hope or making your partner guess at what you want prolongs everyone's misery.
  • Do not break up in stages. You may think this will make the loss easier. Don't fall for it. This only serves to administer low, medium and high doses of pain over a longer interval.
  • Don't lie or invent a story. Things will not add up and the falsehood will be found out sooner or later - usually sooner. Getting over a break up is hard enough without introducing mistrust. Making someone piece together bits of information while leaving him/her to guess what is true causes unnecessary pain.
  • Don't blame someone or something else for your choices. Identifying and asking for what you want is an important developmental step and is necessary for mature relationships. Also, hiding behind excuses is pretty transparent. It is likely the other person will see what you are doing. Conversely, if he/she actually believes your excuse, the person will try and problem solve how to remove whatever relationship obstacle you've fabricated.
  • Don't delay ending a relationship. Once you know you want to break up with someone, it does not help if you deny what you feel. Your partner will sense a change, perhaps reaching out for reassurance. This may feel like "neediness" to you which will increase your feelings of being stuck.

Courtesy: relationship.lifetips

fuit Newbie

Joined: 09 September 2011
Posts: 25

Posted: 16 September 2011 at 2:52am | IP Logged
mslough Newbie

Joined: 03 January 2012
Posts: 14

Posted: 03 January 2012 at 6:28pm | IP Logged
it is not good to break up you relation...
mslough Newbie

Joined: 03 January 2012
Posts: 14

Posted: 07 January 2012 at 1:55am | IP Logged
you have to got time ,,,then it may change your life   ,then no one will leave you
Bobbi. Viewbie

BollyCurry Editor
Joined: 22 March 2010
Posts: 16983

Posted: 05 February 2012 at 6:02am | IP Logged
That's an amazing thought and tips are great too Mahi, thanks for sharing~!

Good luck to all who are going through this rough phase. It's indeed a terrible period.

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