Joined: 09 January 2009
Joined: 09 January 2009
There is no grand reason for humans to be on this planet. On an abstract level, I can say that we are here ' to carry genes, mix gene pools, progress evolution to achieve perfection and die. How does a man contribute to the greatness or virtue of the planet anyway? Everything that we do or perform is always interlinked with other humans. Emotions, feelings, happiness, achievement, knowledge and all of these characteristics which differentiates men from other living creatures in this planet aids only humans and others in their species and doesn't really offer much to the environment. This makes me wonder of man's achievement with respect to this planet is only with the extent he has tainted and (mis)used it. Humanity can consider advancement in science and technology to be one of the greatest gifts to mankind but it has the exact opposite effect to the natural processes that our planet is constantly undergoing. When a new drug is released which can increase life expectancy, nature is robbed off selection of fittest opportunity. Nature gets its revenge in multitude of formats as it tries constantly to achieve a balance.
The easiest example which I can give at this moment is lessening of humanity amongst humans and the social complexities which has been introduced in past few decades. When I got call few hours before, I just got up dressed and went to work. I know that the calls when they come from work at these odd timings that they are important. They are not important to me, but they are important. If the person calling was someone I knew outside the scope of my work, then maybe I would have tried to negotiate my presence. I would have tried to prioritize the caller and based on that I would have aptly replied. But not for the kind of job I do. Everyone around me respects for my badge and gun. They think I am some sort of hero who breaks downs doors, catch bad people and makes the society a better place to live in. I let them live that fantasy but in my heart I know that I am here because the whole socio-economic system around us is pretty much screwed. I don't have the heart to tell them that the bad people are there because of the society itself. They are the dirty laundry of our society. No, I don't tell them any of this. Not because they wouldn't understand but because they don't want to. No one wants to live in reality.
The job was very simple; to stop a peddler meeting with the dealer. Simple, really. But unfortunately the dealer had packed a Glock and had unleashed it on me as I had cornered him. I took one and gave him one, which made him fall in non-breathing heap while I lay in a mess of blood and gore and my own misery. An urgent call is made requesting for medical assistance which I am thinking is going to be useless given the state of my body.
Blinking lights, concerned faces, blood soaked hands, errant tears, whispered greetings, choking voices and sound of gentle humming. Is someone singing or is it death reckoning me to embrace in its open arms?
Where was I? Oh yeah, survival of the fittest doesn't fit anymore. Or maybe it does in a whole lot of different way. It could be something like ' if you want to survive in this society then first get detached from people around you. Maybe there was a translation hidden for Darwinian rules in our genes and I think those genes lay dormant in me.
It's ironic how I can think of these things in a moment like this. I have never been a fan of sociology but a strange fascination comes in during moments like these. Though my eyes have started to give me hazy pictures, there is a certain level of clarity in my thoughts. It's been told that people see their entire life flashing by before they die and try to bargain for their life with whatever imaginary picture of death they would have in their mind. It's surprising that I am thinking of reasons for my existence when I am moments away from my own death.
Is it because I know that I am dying or because I have no one left to care and I am dying alone? Dying people are alone, my mind admonishes me. True, I nod with great difficulty. Haziness in my vision reduces as my eyes starts to close. Pain consumes me and I succumb to darkness.
And in darkness, I find my answers.
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